


These Idiots Are Going to Be Together Forever Because I Say So: Christmas Edition

by thisdorkyficthing



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (but there's gonna be a lot of crying before that happens), Christmas, Flashbacks, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-02 23:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 53,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisdorkyficthing/pseuds/thisdorkyficthing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know the divorce has been hard on you - it's been hard on everyone - but you two need to stop acting like the other doesn't exist when you're in the same room because you're breaking that poor girl's heart. Alyssa and Riley are just so used to it they don't even notice - or maybe they're just able to ignore it - but it isn't healthy."</p>
<p>Thor resisted the urge to fidget, his mouth still hanging open. Frigga took a deep breath, looking down for a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose.</p>
<p>"I know you guys have both been trying. But you have to try harder now."</p>
<p>Thor slumped back, leaning on to the edge of the counter. "I... don't know if I can."</p>
<p>Frigga crossed her arms, lips taut. "That's not the correct answer."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Years Ago

**Author's Note:**

> AYYY! IT'S CHRISTMAS FIC TIME.
> 
> This one is based on a [thorki want](http://thisdorkyblogthing.tumblr.com/post/121515831657/thorki-want-something-similar-to-the-parent-trap) I posted earlier in the year, but with a liberal coating of fake snow and tinsel.

Riley and Alyssa had gone with mom- _Thor's mom_ \- with little fuss. They were heartbroken, of course, but they were both still young enough to that they could be distracted, more easily comforted. Sadie, on the other hand...

She had her face wedged in to the corner where her bed met the wall, her shoulders shaking with heaving sobs. As if Loki's heart could break any more.

"Can I have a hug, Sadie-bug?" He asked, trying to ignore the quiver in his voice and lowering himself on to the edge of the floral-sheet covered bed.

"I don't want you to go," she sobbed, her breath heaving between each word.

"You remember the talks we had about all of this? About why all this is happening?" What an awful talks those had been. Poor Sadie still remembered (vaguely, now) the days before the three had been adopted by him and Thor. For all that she was a happy, well adjusted girl now she was still terrified that it would all turn around. It took the both of them - separately and together - more than a few times to assure her that they weren't going to be sending her away. That might have been the most difficult part of the whole divorce process so far.

She gave a tiny nod of her head.

Loki swallowed, blinking away a few tears that blurred his vision. He laid down, curling up in the small bed behind his daughter. "Come here, Sadie-bug."

Letting out another little sob she turned, scooting up and snuggling in to his chest. Loki squeezed her even closer, planting a kiss to the top of her head."I wish there was something I could do so you wouldn't hurt as much."

"It's going to get better, you know," he continued, trying desperately to make his voice sound a little lighter, feel a little less like a lie. "Me and dad won't be fighting all the time now, and you and your sisters get to come to my new apartment and decorate your new rooms as soon as I get settled in. Won't that be fun?" He pulled his head back, trying to get a glimpse of her face buried in his shirt. She shook her head, another cry escaping her throat. Loki's chest tightened.

"I love you. You know that, right? I love you so much."

A little nod, the tight knot in Loki's chest loosening slightly. He squeezed her again, holding her for as long as he could before he broke down entirely. He pulled himself away reluctantly, Sadie's hands gripping on to his shirt as he tried to stand.

"I have to go now." His voice was tight, just on the edge of being completely locked away in his throat. Sadie looked up at him with her big, grey-blue eyes, glassy and red, before her face crumpled and she turned away from him. He bent over her curled body, pushing her brown hair behind her ear to plant a kiss on her temple. She was quick to squirm away from him, throwing her arm over her face.

"I'll call tonight, okay Sadie-bug?" he sniffled, wiping his cheek with his wrist. Sadie stayed silent. He gave her side a gentle squeeze before forcing himself away, dragging himself down the hallway. He made his way down the stairs, feeling Thor's eyes on him with every move. He refused to look, he couldn't stand to see the heartbroken look on Thor's face right now - again. He would collapse. Loki stepped through the front door of the house he had called home for close to ten years, only managing to hold back his sobs until he stepped off the porch.

Thor watched him pull out of the driveway from the window in the dining room, the last piece of his heart, and any hope of Loki changing his mind, crumbling away. He was still standing there minutes later, tears dripping off his chin on to his chest as he watched the empty street, before he tore himself away at the sound of a sharp inhale.

Sadie stood on the bottom stair, hands wrapped around the railing as she watched him with big, tear-filled eyes. The sight made the hollow place in his chest hurt anew. He walked over and scooped her up, her arms and legs winding around him tightly.

"I know baby, I'm sad too."


	2. Present Day

Riley was frantic, her freshly curled hair bouncing as she jumped at the bottom of the stairs, already bundled up in her puffy pink coat. "We're gonna be _LATE!_ "

Thor scoffed, wrapping the cord around the cooled curling iron and tossing back under the sink. "We're right on time," he called back from upstairs. He pulled his phone from his pocket to check the time as he walked out to the hall, his face twisting in to a grimace in an instant. "Okay maybe a little less than right on time."

He went to Sadie's door, giving it a couple hard knocks. "You ready to go, Bug?"

The door swung open and Sadie's face poked out. "Do I _seriously_ have to go?"

Thor sighed, they'd already argued about this fifty times over the past week and he was really not interested in doing it again. "Yes, you seriously have to go and we don't have time for this. Are you ready?"

Sadie sighed harder, the door slamming shut. "One minute," she huffed back from behind it.

Thor resisted the urge to roll his eyes and went to check on Alyssa.  
"Ready!" She yelled back as soon as he asked, hopping up in to Thor's arms.

"Time to go Bug!"

The door swung open and she came stomping out, decked out in head to toe black - a pair of black jeans and big, black sweater that hung to the middle of her thighs. That had become her thing over the past year; the look finally completed by black hair dye as of last month thanks to Loki. Thor couldn't complain, though. He'd seen far more little girls than necessary trying to dress like they were ready to go clubbing and he'd take Sadie being a walking, talking void over that any day. She was right at his heels as they walked down the stairs, everyone quickly slipping on their coats and boots as Riley continued her impatient jumping.

"Lets _GO!_ "

 

*        *        *

 

Save this. Save that. _Save, save, save_. Loki shut his laptop down with a sigh and rubbed his aching eyes until hard spots appeared in his vision.

"Well, ain't this a snazzy little number," came Tony's voice from the door to his office. He was fiddling with the hem of Riley's bell costume, layers of shiny, gold fabric curling out from the big bubble bodice. Alyssa's sequin covered elf costume was hanging on the next coat hook. "Little small for you though, isn't it?"

"Thank you-" He was very proud of that costume, it was some of his finest work. "-It's for my daughter. They're having their little holiday pageant tonight at school." And with a quick check of the time he realized _tonight_ was fast approaching. "And I really have to get moving."

Tony was giving him his best gasping fish-face, eyes wide with confusion as he watched Loki rush from his desk, pulling on his jacket before snatching the costumes from their temporary home.

"You have a kid!?"

Loki stopped halfway out the door, slowly turning to his boss - and something of a friend, though not a very perceptive one, obviously - to look at him in disbelief. "Three, actually."

"Why didn't you tell me!?"

"I did?" Loki gestured to the plentiful(and very noticeable) pictures hanging all over the walls of his office. Almost all of which had been on display since he started working for Stark Industries two years ago. 

"Did you never notice...?"

"I'm not going to lie... I kind of just assumed they were stock photos you put up to feel less lonely."

Loki leveled a glare at him before turning away and walking out in to the cubical farm that made up his department. "Okay, I actually don't have time for this."

Tony managed to catch up to him( though he had to jog to do it). "But wait - This is seriously blowing my mind right now. You have kids? As in multiple small humans under your care who depend on you?"

Loki glared at him again, the both of them coming to a stop at the elevator. "Yes," Loki snapped back as he punched the down button way too hard. "Is that _really_ so hard to believe!?"

"Well, not exactly. You just don't seem like a kid-type person."

"I like _my_ kids."

Tony followed Loki in to the elevator (there was no escape now) and leaned on the opposite side from Loki, eyes narrowed and arms crossed over his chest. "How long?"

"We adopted them 8 years ago."

Tony's eyebrows shot up. "We?"

Loki sighed heavily. "Me and my ex-husband."

" _Ex_ -husband?"

"Yes! _Ex_ -husband!" Loki shouted back. "Holy shit, do you want a run-down of my entire life or something?"

"Hey." Tony's hands came up in a gesture of peace. "I'm just curious. You're kind of private if you haven't noticed."

Loki rolled his eyes. "I'm not. You don't pay attention. Natasha knows about my kids, Pepper too. I'm pretty sure everyone but _you_ knows about my family."

"What school do they go to?"

"The younger ones go to Oak Valley Elementary and the oldest goes to Grimwood Middle."

Tony looked off, thinking. "Ah."

"What?"

"This is a very interesting development, my friend."

The elevator lurched as they hit the garage, a ping coming from above as the doors slid open. "I have a couple of little girls who will get very, very mad at me if I don't get their costumes to them in time, so feel free to finish grilling me any other time," Loki said as he rushed out, waving his free hand back to Tony. "And see you on Monday."

"Hm," was all that Tony said to that. It probably should have worried him.

 

*        *        *

 

The sky was blissfully clear, a few particularly ambitious stars dotting the deep blue sky. Loki was already waiting for them as they pulled in to the filling-by-the-minute parking lot. Lit by an orange street lamp as he leaned against the back door of his car, he had his hands shoved deep in to the pockets of his black wool coat, his breath puffing out in clouds of steam. Thor pulled his van in to the empty spot beside it. Riley and Alyssa where ripping off their seat belts as soon as he had it parked, tumbling out of the back with excited (and shrill) screams for their papa. Thor and Sadie climbed out a bit more slowly. Loki laughed as he greeted them, giving both girls loud, smacking kisses.

" _Oh my god,_ " Riley gasped, body suddenly frozen. "You remembered our costumes, right?"

Loki's face twisted. "Damn, I knew I forgot something."

Both girls' faces fell, but Loki was quick to laugh and side step away from the door. They sagged in relief at the sight of the sparkly clothing hanging in the window

"That's not funny, Papa," Alyssa whined, blonde brows furrowed in a very serious look.  
  
Reaching down he poked the round tip of her nose, tinged pink from the cold air. "I think if you saw your own faces you'd see how funny it was."

"We have to hurry," Riley said, back to bouncing around once more. "I have to be ready by eight-thirty!"

"Okay, okay!" Loki laughed, opening the car door to fish out the costumes. "Lead the way, my loves."

Both girls were quick to grab his free hand and drag him towards the squat brick building. He shouted a quick "see you inside" to Sadie and Thor, though it was obvious that he made a point to not actually look at Thor as he did.

Not that Thor was really looking at Loki either.

Sadie sighed. She looped her arm through her dad's and they walked inside together, heading straight for the gym. Another get-together where they were all forced to act like everything was perfectly fine and normal while her fathers managed to make it through the whole night while barely acknowledging each others existence. How fun.

"How about a compromise," came Thor's voice over the sounds of the crowd of families milling about in the gym. Sadie looked up at him, resting her chin on his shoulder. "You can play around on your phone - sound off - whenever your sisters aren't on stage. Fair?"

The corner of Sadie's mouth rose in a half-smile. "Sounds fair."

Thor smiled, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. "Okay, then lets steal some seats."

Thor's phone rang just after they had staked a claim on a section of one middle rows, waving his arm in the air as he tried to direct. Sadie spotted her grandparents in the entryway to the gym, lifting both arms to try to help catch their attention too. They both stood as they walked up, quick greetings murmured and hugs exchanged between the four of them before they all sat down.

"Loki's helping Ry and Lyssa get ready," Thor said as they settled in to their seats, the one empty seat left on the end for him.

"You think he'll need any help?" Frigga was quick to offer as she pulled her jacket off to reveal a thick, cream colored sweater. Thor shrugged.

"I'll call him," she said, already pulling out her phone. As she spoke softly in to the receiver Thor settled more comfortably in to his chair - as comfortably as one could get in a metal folding chair anyways, and slung his arm around Sadie's narrow shoulders. Sadie yawned and pulled her phone out of her pocket, turning the sound down before pulling up a game and tapping away.

Loki came strolling in few minutes later, just as everyone else finished setting up their perfect shots and grabbing the last of the open seats. He dropped in to the chair at the other side of Sadie with a beaming smile, giving her a quick peck on the temple. The sound of kindergartners who couldn't control the volume of their voices could be heard behind the fabric paneling that had been set up in front of the makeshift stage, then a teacher trying desperately to shush them.

Dropping the bag with the girls other clothes and coats between his feet Loki said with confidence, "I've got to say, having seen the competition, we are going to have the cutest bell and elf up there."

Frigga and Odin laughed quietly, while Thor fought his own laughter back, only for it to turn in to a fond smile - directed at the " _stage_." 

"It's not a competition."

"But if it was, they'd win in a landslide," Loki was quick to counter, winking at Sadie. "And how are you, my little Sulkiebug?"

Sadie rolled her eyes and sighed, letting her head drop to Loki's shoulder. "I'm bored."

Loki chuckled while the room quieted down even further, the panels dragged back to reveal rows of festively dressed five-year-olds nervously shuffling on their feet.

"Who wants to take bets on which one barfs?"

Sadie snickered, while Thor let out an admonishing "Loki."

"I'm picking the boy in the Rudolph sweater," Loki continued, undeterred, "he looks a little green."

Sadie let out another small laugh.

" _Loki_ ," Thor chided, though his heart didn't sound in it.

The music started and so did the chorus of tiny, un-harmonized voices.  
Loki leaned in and whispered in to Sadie's ear, "I'm giving him until halfway in to song two."

Just like that, halfway in to a very enthusiastic, if eardrum shattering, rendition of Let It Snow the boy's cheeks suddenly bulged out. The the unfortunate two standing in the row before him - another little boy in what looked to be a lovingly homemade sweater and girl with her red-brown hair pulled in to a bow adorned bun - were innocent bystanders that got caught in the spray of half-digested spaghetti. Shrill cries echoed through the high ceiling and a handful of parents rushed to the stage area while a couple teachers dragged the panels back in place.

"They really should've cut up those noodles a bit," Loki said, his nose scrunching as the smell drifted their way.

Thor did laugh at that, shaking his head.

"Ew, ew, ew." Sadie sank deeper in to her seat, covering her mouth and nose with the sleeves of he her sweater.

 

*        *        *

 

Alyssa came rushing to them as soon as her class's skit was done, jumping right in to Loki's lap. Everyone was quick to congratulate her and tell how well she did. After giving her a kiss on the cheek, Loki released her, letting her scramble farther in to the row to get hugs and kisses from grandma and grandpa before sitting in Thor's lap.

"That was completely adorable."

Loki's head whipped around to see Tony standing there, grinning.

Tony winked. "Surprise!" Looking to the row behind him, he jerked his chin to a chair that was piled with coats, asking the woman in the next chair if it was taken. She stammered out an unintelligible response and scooped the belongings off of it, allowing Tony to drag it next to Loki's.

"What are you doing here?"

"Curiosity was eating away at me," Tony explained, leaning in. "I gotta try to wrap my head around this."

Sadie looked between Loki and this Tony in confusion. "Papa?"

Loki turned to Sadie, smiling gently at her look of befuddlement before glancing up at everyone else. "Everyone, this is Tony Stark" he answered with a gesture. "Tony this is, well, everyone," he added with another vague gesture down the row.

Thor gave Loki an odd look before quickly looking away.

Tony, undeterred by any awkwardness he'd brought about, grinned and leaned across Loki to thrust his hand towards the others. "Hey there."

Thor was the first to take his offered hand, his lips shaped in to a tight line that hardly resembled a smile. "I'm Thor," he said, his voice coming out deeper and meaner than intended.

Tony continued to be unaffected, holding his hand out to Lyssa next. "Lovely performance, best damn elf I've ever seen."

She giggled, her wariness of the new person in her midst vanishing with the compliment, and shook his hand with her small one. Odin and Frigga were next, the three having to lean in an awkward huddle to exchange names and pleasantries. Sadie glanced between her fathers, noting the grim look on Thor's face as he stared determinedly forward at the fourth graders singing up front and Loki's constant nervous shifting.

"And you?"

Sadie jumped as she was pulled from her thoughts, shaking Tony's hand as she told him her name.

Tony huffed as he finally sat back, tugging his red suit jacket back in place. "It's nice to be able to put names to the faces."

 

*        *        *

 

The whole thing ended after Riley's class preformed their play, everyone standing from their seats to mill about and dressed up children running around with their friends. The Odinson Clan, on the other hand, stood in a awkward, silent circle.

Tony clapped his hands together. "How about dinner? My treat."  
Riley and Alyssa were all for it, already charmed by Tony's flashy suit and fast talking. And the prospect of food.

Loki resisted the urge to glare at his boss. "I don't know, it's still a school night-"

"Oh come on _snookums_ ," Tony said as he clapped Loki on the back. "They can stay up a little late one night, right?" he said, looking to Thor - who was definitely not holding back a glare.

Tony started walking, gesturing for them to follow. "Come on I got a car waiting."

And by car, he meant stretch limo. That was what won Sadie over, if the extra-wideness of her eyes was any indication. All three girls ran ahead.

"Ladies first, of course," he said as he opened the door. They practically dove inside - a chorus of gasps and _ooh's_ coming from the blue lighted interior.

Frigga and Odin climbed in next, chuckling lightly and looking pleased by the strange turn of events, then Loki followed by Tony. Last - and most reluctantly - was Thor, wedging himself between his parents and the door, his displeasure rolling off him in waves. The girls took full advantage of the space, crawling along the black leather seating and giggling as they peered out the windows.

Loki sat beside Tony, turning to him as soon as Tony was done telling the driver where to go. "I have to ask again: What are you doing?" He kept his voice low, not wanting the others to overhear.

"I wanted to see Dad-Loki in action."

Loki sighed. "Pepper seriously needs to consider getting you a babysitter when she's gone."

"Oh come on, I'm being nice here."

Loki let out a noisy exhale through his nose, putting on a smile as soon as Alyssa and Riley turned around and started babbling excitedly at the adults again.

Tony brought them to one of his favorite places, a swanky joint in the city proper that usually didn't allow children under sixteen inside, but for Tony Stark they made an exception. The girls were on they're best behavior though, even being polite when most of the food options were less than appealing to them. (Tony slipped a couple large bills to the manager and that problem was swiftly dealt with as well.)  
Frigga made pleasant small talk, Odin talked business, while Loki kept most of his focus on the girls. Thor was doing a brilliant impersonation of a wall. A big, angry wall.

Tony leaned back in his seat, looking over at the other end of the long rectangular table where Thor sat glaring down at his plate. "I feel like we've barely spoken three words to each other, Thor. How's your meal?"

Sadie's eyes bounced from one end of the table to the other. Dangerous waters were being tread here.

Thor shrugged. "Good. I'm not particularly hungry though."

Sadie watched as Loki finally looked Thor's way, her fathers' eyes meeting for a second before both looked away again. Tony nodded. An uncomfortable silence descended over the table.

Frigga was the one to break it. "You know, as much fun as these two-" with a gentle smile she gestured to Alyssa and Riley "-are having, it has been a very long day for them and I think they're gonna need to go to bed soon."

Tony picked up on her cue. "Of course, I'll go pay the check and we can head off." He stood, patting Loki on the shoulder as he walked off.

 

*        *        *

 

Thor did it all with a smile. He braided hair, agreed with how cool Tony and the limo was, helped pack backpacks for the morning, and gave goodnight kisses.

The smile fell as he dragged himself back downstairs. He slumped on to the couch and turned on the tv, numbly staring at the screen for awhile before his face crumpled and the tears started falling.

This was it, wasn't it?  Loki was moving on.

Thor knew it was going to happen, eventually. He wasn't stupid. But, somehow, he hadn't fully... comprehended it. The hollow, numb feeling that he'd built up over the past couple years was ripped to shreds to reveal the sharp, almost blinding ache that had made it's home in his heart years ago.

He inhaled deeply, his lungs shaking, and exhaled with a sob he couldn't hold back any longer. He curled forward, caught his wet face in his hands, and wept.

Sadie sat at the top of the staircase, head resting on the banister, a tightness forming in her throat as she listened to her dad cry. She stood as her eyes welled up, creeping back in to her room and shutting the door behind her carefully. Her hands clutched the hem of her t-shirt as tears rolled down her cheeks, wiping them away roughly with her arm. She sniffed, moving across the room to drop on to her bed. She buried her face in to the pillow and forced herself to stop.


	3. Eighteen Years Ago - Christmas Night

Thor stepped out of his room, his bare feet silent on the hardwood floor. His heart was racing, sweat collecting between his shoulders and the back of his neck. In his hand was a sloppily wrapped CD - he had no idea how he managed to fuck up wrapping it _so_ badly, he did it exactly the way mom told him - and at the end of the hall was Loki's room, a sliver of light shining out from beneath the door.

He took a few deep, steadying breaths. It was just a CD. He'd already chickened out on giving it to Loki, like, three times.

All he needed to do was give it to Loki and hope he liked it.

_No need to be so nervous_.

Christmas was almost over now, time to just fucking _do it._

Thor nodded to himself. Another deep breath and then he crept forward.

He almost lost his nerve as he stood before Loki's door, his heart thundering in his ears now. He knocked, his hand moving before his mind had a chance to convince him to run back to his room. After a pause, he could hear Loki's footsteps coming closer.

The door cracked open, the face that had been in the starring role of all his dreams and fantasies(both innocent and dirty) appearing from behind it. Loki's eyes were narrowed at him. "Yeah?"

Thor held up his gift, smiling bashfully. "I got you a present."

Loki's eyes widened, his closed-off expression falling away in confusion. "What?"

"I was kind of too..." Thor's belly flopped with nerves as Loki kept looking at him.  He shrugged and let out a huffy laugh. "I was supposed to give it to you this morning," he explained, thrusting the CD forward. "Guess I forgot."

Loki was quiet, eyes darting from Thor's face to the gift in his hand. He took it tentatively, turning it over in his hands.

Loki's heart was fluttering. Was this actually happening? It had to be a joke, right? He looked back up at Thor, eyes narrowing again. This was a joke. A _mean_ one too, even by his standards. _Whatever,_ get it over with quick. Lips pulled taut, Loki tore the paper off. He was left staring down at the yellow case in disbelief.

"Sorry if you've already got it..." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, tucking his chin length hair behind his ear as Loki kept staring down at the CD. Doubt was creeping up his throat, with just a _twist_ of embarrassment. "I think it's new since it was in the display right at the front of the store but it's not really what I listen too. So uh, yeah..."

Loki looked back up at Thor, his skin tingling with warmth. Thor was watching him as he gnawed on a thumbnail.

"I don't have it," Loki assured.

"Oh." Thor visibly relaxed, smiling brightly as he nodded his head and forced his hand back down to his side. "Good."

Loki looked down at the CD again, wearing a (rarely seen) smile of his own. "How did you know I liked Placebo?"

Thor shrugged, leaning against the door jamb. He wasn't going to mention the bit of help Loki gave him when he'd accidentally left a chat up on the computer the month before. "I just kind of noticed you turned them up whenever they came on the radio."

Something about that made Loki's stomach do a flip. He crunched the paper in his hand and bit his lip. They stood there, at either side of the doorway, shifting and fidgeting.

Loki cleared his throat and asked, "do you wanna listen to it with me?" Eyes darting to Odin's a Frigga's bedroom door, he added, "quietly."

Thor nodded, his smile practically beaming now. "Yeah."

Loki stepped back to let Thor through, shutting the door behind them.  
Thor took the opportunity to look around the room. He'd been roped in to helping his parents paint and put the furniture together when they had decided to become foster parents. He remembered what it looked like when they'd finished: Welcoming, but strangely bare and lifeless. Now, since Loki had been living in it for the past few months, it had a personality. A few crinkled posters stuck on the creme colored walls, the dark blue bedding his mom had bought wrinkled and bunched on the bed. Clothes were in scattered piles around the edges of the room, along with a few crumpled balls of paper. The desk was littered with more, along with the new notebooks and pencils that he'd gotten that morning. He liked it.

Loki went to the bookshelf where a small black boombox sat next to a line of worn paperback books. Thor took a seat on the edge of the bed as he watched Loki try to tear the cellophane off the CD case, his pale cheeks stained bright pink and hands trembling as he failed to get it to rip.

"Do you need help?" he offered.

Loki jumped a little, giving him a nervous smile as he handed him the CD.

"They make these a real pain to get off," Thor added with small chuckle.

"Yeah," Loki let out in a huff of laughter, running a hand through his messy, shoulder-length hair.

Thor managed to hook one of his teeth under the edge of one of the folds and tore it open, peeling the other seals off too before handing the CD back to Loki. Loki bit his lip around a smile, turning the boombox on before popping the case open and setting the CD inside.  
After setting the case aside and taking a moment to get the volume right - _just_ loud enough for them to hear without waking Frigga and Odin - he took the few nerve-wracking steps over to his bed and sat down. He made sure to leave a couple feet between them, just to be safe. Loki stared down at his hands in his lap as the first song began to play. His mind could hardly comprehend what was happening right now. Thor sitting beside him. Thor giving him a real gift. _Thor sitting beside him, looking at him_. He could feel sweat pooling behind his knees.

He glanced over to Thor.

Thor smiled.

Loki smiled and looked away again.

"I like what you've done with the room."

Loki laughed, glancing around. "It's a mess."

Thor shrugged.

"Thank you," Loki said when he realized he hadn't yet.

"You're welcome," Thor replied.

They were quiet again, letting the music fill the silence.

Thor laid back with an noisy exhale, having to lay diagonally to not hit his head on the wall. Loki looked over his shoulder, Thor's eyes meeting his with a crooked smile. Loki shifted and laid down beside him, their shoulders a few inches apart. He kept his eyes aimed at the ceiling.

Thor could feel the heat of Loki's skin next to his. He studied the shapes and curves of Loki's face, his smooth, pale skin, the gentle curve of his eyelashes and the little darker flecks of green in his irises. Loki's teeth flashed as he scraped them over his bottom lip, making the skin a little pinker. Thor had never felt so nervous or excited in his life. He could hardly hear the music past the blood rushing in his head.  
He moved his hand an inch, bumping their knuckles together.

Loki looked down at the small contact, his eyes darting up to meet Thor's a second later. The tension in the air loosened just a little.  
Loki's knee knocked against Thor's. Thor chuckled, bumping his knee back.

They bumped and nudged each other for a while longer, their soft laughs mixing in with the music, until Thor finally slipped his hand into Loki's. Sucking in a lungful of air, he knit their fingers together.  
Loki's fingers curled around Thor's a second later. Thor exhaled. Relief washed over him. Then, giddiness.

Loki was grinning, his cheeks were aching from it already. He looked back over to Thor just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating or something - usually his dreams weren't nearly this innocent, though.  
This was real. Thor was looking back at him with that big smile that had caught Loki from the day he moved in here.

"Hi," Thor whispered.

Loki laughed, his whole face going hot. "Hi."

"I'm not sure what to say now." Thor laughed.

Loki bit his lip and shrugged.

Their palms were all hot and sweaty from being pressed together, and Thor's neck was getting a bit twinge-y from being twisted like this, but he didn't want to move in case it somehow completely destroyed the moment.

Of course, that would be the moment his parent's door would creak open. They both froze at the sound. There was a deep cough amongst the shuffling, letting them know it was his father that was up and about. They stayed just like that for the minutes it took his father to finally venture back to bed, the both of them letting out the breaths they'd been holding.

Without moving, Thor said, "I should probably go back to my room."

Loki bit his lip before giving a small nod of his head.

Their hands were still locked together as they sat up, reluctance hindering every move as they stood and walked to the door.

Loki really, really didn't want to let go. He was filled with the sudden, sinking fear that this was a one time thing - that tomorrow morning would come and Thor would act like none of this ever happened. It made his heart pound.

He surged forward, crushing their lips together. _May as well_ , he thought, _if this never happens again_.

Thor let out a grunt of surprised, teeth twanging from how Loki had roughly bucked their mouths together. It took him another second before the shock wore off and his brain could manage to remind him to do something. He reached up and tangled his hands in to Loki's hair, tilting his head a little. Loki sighed against his lips, the sound making goosebumps rise all over Thor's skin. Thor's back hit the wall when Loki leaned in to him, his hands dragging up Thor's chest to grasp his shoulders.

The constant confusion and anxiety from the past few month's suddenly dwindled to nothing. Just Loki's body pressing on to his, their hearts beating together, their lips locked. It felt _perfect_.

He wrapped his arms around Loki's waist, squeezing Loki to his chest and keeping him there.

They stood there beside the door, kissing and kissing and kissing some more, until their bodies began to ache from the stillness. Thor loosened his arms, letting Loki pull back. They looked away from each other with a giggle.

Thor dragged Loki back to his chest, planting another hard kiss on his lips.

Loki pulled back when there was another cough from Thor's parent's room. "You should probably go to your room," he mumbled.

Thor sighed. "Yeah."

Instead of leaving right away, Thor hugged Loki close once more, tucking his face in to the crook of Loki's neck. Loki sagged against him, humming quietly and burying his face in to Thor's thick, shaggy hair. He inhaled deeply, getting a faint whiff of flowers. He could feel himself rise and fall with each of Thor's breaths, the steady rhythm soothing.

"Merry Christmas," Thor whispered, his breath brushing against Loki's throat.

Loki smiled in to Thor's hair, gripping the worn cotton of his t-shirt even tighter.


	4. Present Day

Loki marched through the empty halls of Grimwood Middle, his eyes skimming over the festively non-denominational decorations pinned up to the otherwise blah beige walls and hearing snippets of teachers giving out lessons.

Sadie had gotten in to a _fight_. His stomach had sunk a little when the woman had told him over the phone. She apparently didn't know anymore than that, and just asked that Loki get there as soon as he could.

He finally spotted Principal Fury's office, the door marked with a gold and black plaque, and rushed to it.

He sighed heavily when he spotted Sadie sitting in one of the chairs in the small waiting area, a bruise already darkening around her eye. He was kneeling in front of her in the next second, brushing the hair back from her face to get a better look.

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out."

Loki looked over to see Principal Fury standing in the doorway, looking ominous and intimidating in his all-black outfit and his arms crossed over his chest. It was then he noticed the other girl, her cheek bruised and upper lip split, and her mother - _Helen Harland_. Loki had to hold back a sneer. She was the reason Thor did all the school things.

"If you could all join me," Fury prompted, stepping back in to his office. Loki's jaw clenched as Helen pushed her daughter forward and rushed ahead of them, pointy chin pushed up and over-lined lips pursed.

The girls settled in the chairs in front of Fury's desk, Loki and Helen standing behind them.

"Now, Miss Harland told me that Miss Odinson attacked her unprovoked," Principal Fury started as he settled behind his desk, "while Miss Odinson said that she only struck out because Miss Harland was using homophobic slurs against her fathers."

Sadie and Loki both turned their heads to glare at the other two.

"It seems like this was something of a problem in grade school as well."

Fury sat forward, fingers knit together, and sighed. "We take bullying and accusations of homophobia very seriously here." He looked over to Helen and her daughter as he said, "and I will not have my students bullying others either for their own or their parents sexualities." He looked to Loki and Sadie. " _Nor_ will I tolerate my students lashing out with violence - whether they feel justified or not."

" _Sir_ ," Helen started(Loki had to force himself to keep from rolling his eyes. Just her voice made him want to claw out something), "my Hope is a good girl. She's barely missed a day of school or gotten a grade below a B+, I just-"

"Mrs. Harland," Fury interrupted, holding up a hand. "I've been doing this for over twenty years, I'm perfectly aware of what kids can do. More than you, most likely."

Helen's mouth snapped shut, the sound making a smirk of satisfaction curl Loki's lips.

"I'm suspending both girls for the rest of today and tomorrow, and putting them in detention for the rest of the week." Fury paused, looking back between the parents. "Sound fair?"

Loki nodded while Helen opened her mouth again - surely to spout off about her precious Hope's perfect attendance record or something like that.

The principal was quicker, though. "Good."

Helen was red, her lips so pinched now that they might get sucked in to her face. "May I speak with you alone, sir?"

Fury smiled, the kind of smile someone would wear after doing about six months hard time working retail. "Of course, Mrs Harland. I'd like to have a quick word with Mr. Laufeyson alone as well." He glanced to Loki and asked, "would that be alright?"

Loki took a look at his watch. He still had a little over an hour before his meeting. "Sure."

Fury gestured towards the door. "It'll be just a moment."

Loki guided Sadie back out to the waiting area, sitting side-by-side in the row of chairs.

He took one of her hands in to both of his, studying her slumped posture. Her other hand was playing with the hair that had fallen loose from her braid. "How's you're eye?"

Sadie's gaze darted up from the floor, her lip curling as she shrugged her shoulders. "Sore."

"Oh, Sadie-bug," Loki sighed. Loki wound an arm around her shoulder and squeezed her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. "What happened?"

Sadie huffed, "Hope's a bitch."

" _Sadie_ ," Loki chided. Though, given who she has for a mother...

"She _is_."

Thor was better for these things. Loki sighed, running his hand over Sadie's back.

Muffled screeching came from inside the office, meaning good ol' Helen was trying to ream out the principal. He and Sadie sat there listening to Helen's unintelligible, increasingly agitated caterwauling. Loki glanced back to the door when it ended abruptly, lifting an eyebrow. Less than a minute later she came out huffing and puffing, her caked on foundation unable to hide the redness to her face, dragging Hope behind her by the wrist. All four exchanged heated glares as they stomped out of the room.

"Mr. Lafeyson?"

Loki and Sadie stood and went back in to the office, each sitting in a chair in front of his desk.

"As I said before," Fury started, directing his words to Loki, "I do take the issue of homophobia very seriously, I would not have any of my students made uncomfortable by someone else's prejudices - _that said-_ " He looked to Sadie. "I'm not pleased with how you handed the situation, Sadie. If Hope is saying those things to you you need to go to the _teacher_ about it-"

Sadie groaned in frustration, flinging her head back and arms out dramatically. "But Hope always does it in Mrs Dunlap's class because she knows she hates me."

"Then come to me," Fury said, his tone serious, but kind. "But I don't want you turning to violence again. And I'll have a chat with Mrs Dunlap about this too."

Sadie huffed, turning her head to look at the wall. Loki reached out to pet her hair, his belly churning with sadness and worry now.

"Sorry to call you out of work, Mr Laufeyson. We couldn't manage to contact your husband."

"Ex-husband," Loki spat out automatically, a hollow echo of the words ringing through his chest. Sadie sniffed.

"Sorry again."

"It's alright," Loki sighed with a vague gesture of his hand.

"If that's all, I'll let you be on your way."

Loki nodded and moved to stand, Fury following to shake his hand. Sadie stood up slowly, frowning and hunching her shoulders. They made their way through the halls without a word, making a quick stop at Sadie's locker to grab her book-bag while Loki called Frigga.

"Could I bring Sadie over to your house? She got in to a fight and got suspended and I've got a presentation I have to be at in- shit, forty-five minutes... Great, thank you. We'll be right there."  
Sadie slipped her backpack on to her shoulders, and they began walking. Loki draped his arm over her shoulders, pulling her to his side as they made their way to the front office to sign out.

Helen and Hope where just making their way to their car right as Loki and Sadie came out the front doors. Helen was still looking all fluffed up with rage as she stomped to her silver SUV, the back end laden with religious bumper stickers.

She glanced back, noticing the two of them, and plastered on a big fake grin as she swung the front door of her SUV open with force. "Well, it seems this school folds to your liberal values, I hope you're real happy."

" _Ecstatic_." Loki plastered on a fake smile of his own as they walked up to his car, a few spaces away from Helen's. "Finally, someone who isn't as easy to verbally neuter as Mr. Coburn or your husband."

She snarled. Slamming the door shut she marched over to Loki, streaked bleached bob bouncing around the shoulders of her powder pink puffy vest, and wagged a french manicured finger in his face. "I am not letting this _favoritism_ get in the way of my daughter's education. This isn't the end of this."

Loki smiled and nodded, his hands folded in front of him. "It's so good to catch up with you, Helen... So, are you still bringing store bought cookies to bake sales?"

Helen's face twisted to an ugly sneer, her fist flying to meet Loki's nose. Hope and Sadie each let out startled, high-pitched screams while Loki stumbled backwards, blinking away the stars in his eyes. Helen stomped away, barking at her daughter to get in the car. Rubber screeched over asphalt as she peeled out and sped away.

Sadie grabbed his arm to help him from falling over. "Oh my god papa, are you okay?"

Loki sniffed wetly and reached up to feel his. He hissed when he looked at his blood smeared fingers. "God, I hate that fucking bitch."

Sadie nodded in agreement and tugged on his arm. "The nurses office is right by the front door."

 

*        *        *

 

Frigga's eyes widened as soon as they landed on the pair of them, her mouth dropping open when she saw Loki's nose packed with bloodied tissues. "What happened to _you!?_ "

" _Helen Harland_ ," he deadpanned. "Mother to Sadie's opponent. It's been a lovely father-daughter bonding moment, in all honestly."

Sadie let out a quiet laugh, letting herself be pulled inside and swallowed up in to her grandmother's embrace. Holding her by the chin, Frigga tipped her head back and examined the darkening bruise around her eye with a frown.

"Luckily for us," Loki said as he stepped inside, "neither Harland seems to pack a particularly hard punch."

"I think I remember who you're talking about." Frigga huffed through her nose and shook her head. "Did you call the police?"

"No, I'm in a bit of a rush." He checked his phone and saw he only had twenty minutes to get back to work and get ready for his presentation.

" _Shit_ \- I have to go right now." He gave Sadie a quick peck on the forehead, the two of them trading murmured _love you's_.

"I'll talk to you later." Bowing his head to Frigga he added, "thank you again for watching her."

"It's not a problem," Frigga said, hugging Sadie to her side. "And I called Odin as soon as I got off with you- Thor's phone apparently died on him in the middle of a meeting, he should be over in a bit."

" _Ah_ , okay," he said, backing out the door. "Well, thanks again."

Frigga smiled and nodded her head, closing the door as soon as Loki was in his car.

"Lets get something for that eye," she said, squeezing Sadie once more before letting go and moving away. "Go ahead and get settled while I make an ice pack."

Sadie toed off her boots and dropped her bag to the floor, hanging her coat up on the hooks. She padded deeper in to the house, making her way to the living room. She curled up on the couch, around one of the throw pillows, and stared at the Christmas tree. Her eye got caught on the bookshelf next to it, on the wide, blue spine of a photo album. She got up and grabbed it, dragging the immense thing back to the couch with her. Flipping the front cover open she smiled at the pictures of her dad as a baby, all chubby cheeks and big smiles. She flipped past the rest of the pictures of her dad as a kid, stopping on the ones where her papa started showing up. It was so odd seeing her fathers so young - papa looking skinny and grim(at first) and dad still all bright smiles and squishy faced.

She stared at one of them that had her dad hugging papa to his chest. Papa's hair was longer in it, falling in loose waves past his shoulders, with a paper crown sitting crookedly on top his head as he grinned in to the camera. Her dad's hair was shorter and shaggier, strands of it hanging in his face as he kissed papa's cheek with his eyes shut tight.

"I've always liked that one," Frigga said softly. Sadie jumped anyways. She took the ice pack her grandmother offered, sighing in relief as she pressed it to her aching eye. Frigga came around and sat beside her, pulling the album so it sat across both their laps.

"That was taken on your papa's eighteenth birthday." Her grandmother let out a wistful sigh as they continued to look at the photos, pretty much all of them with Thor and Loki grinning and huddled close.

Sadie glanced up at Frigga. "Do you miss them being together?"

Frigga hesitated, giving Sadie a small, sad smile before answering with, "I do."

Sadie nodded, flipping to the next page. It was basically a montage of the two of them either kissing or looking like they were really, really close to it.

Sadie's throat tightened as she remembered the days they'd still been like that(and the days when they'd stopped). The tears came before she could try to stop them, hot where her skin had become cold from the ice pack.

"Oh, sweetheart." Frigga closed the album and set it on the coffee table, pulling Sadie close and laying her head on her shoulder. Sadie sobbed quietly for a while, shoulders trembling and sniffling. When she pulled back she could see her grandmother's eyes were wet too.

"Why did you get in to a fight today?" Frigga asked, tucking a few loose strands of hair behind Sadie's ear.

Sadie shrugged. "Hope is always saying things about dad and papa... I just couldn't take it anymore."

Frigga nodded and stroked a hand over her hair. Sadie looked back to the photo album, thinking of the other night.

"What is it?"

Her eyes flicked over to her grandmother. "Dad was crying the other night, after we came home from the recital... I think he misses papa."

Frigga's mouth twitched in to a frown for a second. "I'm sure he does, sweetheart. They were together for a long time and that's not something that's easy to get over."

Sadie frowned, hardly able to speak past the lump in her throat. "But I think papa misses him too."

"I'm sure he does," her grandma agreed, her voice low and kind while her face twisted in sympathy as she watched Sadie. Frigga took a deep breath and said, "I know you wish they would get back together, but it's complicated..."

Sadie's face crumpled, her hands curling on her thighs. Her thoughts became muddled in her frustration, she couldn't even think of something to say. She just hated all of it. She clenched her eyes shut as she began to cry more, her chest stuttering when she inhaled.

Frigga pulled Sadie in to another tight hug and rocked her gently.

 

*        *        *

 

"What the hell happened to you?"

Loki strode through the open elevator doors, heading straight for his office with Tony at his heels and ignoring the looks from his various colleagues and underlings milling about.

"Just a run-in with a rabid soccer mom," he answered when they were both in the office, door closed behind them. "It's not broken or anything."

"Is that why you had to run out of here?"

"Kind of." Loki let out a heavy sigh. "Sadie got in a fight - there's a bit of history with the girl and her mom between us - and the school couldn't get a hold of Thor, so I had to go."

Tony nodded. " _Ah_."

Loki moved around, gathering his things for his presentation, the bit of adrenaline pumping through him making his breathing harsher.  
Tony's head tilted as he watched Loki dig around his desk, hands sliding in to his pockets. "Something else wrong?"

"No."

"You sure?"

Loki paused to give Tony an incredulous look. "I do have to get ready for the meeting - which you should probably already be at."

Tony smiled at that. "Watch this." He scooped his phone out of his pocket, tapping on the screen and putting it to his ear. "Hey, you know that meeting that's supposed to start in about, uh... five minutes? Yeah, cancel it... Okay, reschedule it for next Tuesday. Perfect, thank you." With a grin, he hung up and dropped the thing back in his pocket.

Loki sighed again, shoulders sagging.

Tony clapped his hands together as he flopped on the loveseat at the other end of Loki's office. "Spill. We got the time."

" _Tony_." Loki's shoulders sagged. Today was barely halfway over and he was already thoroughly exhausted.

"Isn't it great being friends with the boss!" Tony grinned, kicking his feet up on the armrest.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"It doesn't _look_ like there's nothing to talk about."

Loki laughed, a humorless sound dragging out of his throat. "You thought my kids were just stock photos last week and now you want hear all about my parental problems?"

Tony shrugged. "Why not?"

Loki dropped in to his chair with a heavy sigh. They sat in silence while Loki tried to gather his thoughts.

"I'm worried about what this means," he started, the words coming out in rush before he lost his nerve. He didn't talk about his feelings with anyone. He'd only ever done it with Thor. "The fight, I mean."

"Why? Kids get in to fights sometimes."

"Yeah, but Sadie has had emotional problems before. She was five when we adopted the girls, so she was the only one who could even remember their biological parents or anything that happened before being put in to foster care. From what I was told the situation wasn't the absolute worst - but still something that can profoundly effect a child."

"She had a short fuse. Really short. We found a counselor as soon as we realized we couldn't handle it on our own and it helped a lot. She stopped getting violently angry over small things and she was able to tell us what was wrong before it could escalate."

"So, now?"

"She's a _teenager_ now. She doesn't want to talk about _anything_. So now I'm worried she's going to go back to _that_." Loki breathed in slowly, massaging the aching bridge of his nose with both hands. "I just want her to be happy."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hm?"

"What's the story between you and Thor?"

"What?" Loki chuckled. "Do you want to be in here for the rest of the night?"

"Sure, why not."

"Fine. _Whatever_." Loki rolled his eyes and let his head drop on to the back of his chair. "We met when we were seventeen. His parents decided they wanted to try their hand at being foster parents, and I was their first - and only - charge."

"Shit, really?"

"Oh yes. Imagine their surprise when they found us in bed together."

"Oh no," Tony laughed.

Loki smiled a little at the memory. After the shock of finding them hand worn off Frigga had pulled him aside, looking very worried, and asked what had happened. Her and Odin had been more worried that Thor was taking advantage of him than anything else. No freaking out about the boy they'd let in to their home out of the goodness of their hearts defiling their son, or just freaking out about their son sleeping with another boy - they seriously thought Thor was using him.  
The way Frigga had searched his face as he answered each question, like she was trying to decipher any hidden meanings in his words, was probably the first time he'd really felt cared for by an adult.

"That's a hell of a 'How We Met' story there."

Loki let his head drop back down and shrugged.

"When'd you guys get married?"

"We were eighteen."

Tony whistled. "Damn."

The corner of Loki's mouth raised at the ceiling. "And he proposed to me with a key-ring."

Tony burst out in laughter. "What!? There's a story there, right?"

"Well, it was New Years Eve and Thor drove us  way out in to the countryside to star gaze in his old, beaten up pick-up truck. We set up this little make shift bed made out of a bunch of blankets and sleeping bags and listened to the radio all night."

Tony raised his eyebrows.

Loki tilted his head and smirked. "We may have been naked in those sleeping bags for a good portion of the night."

"Well, _of course_."

"Anyways, midnight rolled around... and we were kissing... and Thor asked me to marry him. Just like that."

Loki looked out the window beside his desk, his thoughts drifting back to that night. He could remember Thor's face as though it had happened last night. His clean shaven cheeks and nose pink from the cold, his smile and eyes so bright even in the dark. _God_ , he was so beautiful and so _sure_.

"I know you didn't really get to see it the other night," Loki sighed, "but Thor can actually be a real whirlwind. I got swept up in it - I hadn't even been _thinking_ of marriage or anything like that five minutes before he asked, but as soon as he said the words I knew the only answer I was going to give was _yes_. He yanked the keys off his key-ring and gave it to me as a place holder."

Tony was smiling softly, looking amused.

"His parents _were_ pissed about that, though. Especially when we told them we wanted to get married as soon as possible."

"Really?"

"Oh _yeah_ ," Loki chuckled, "they desperately tried to reason with us, which only made both of us dig our heels deeper. We went and got married at the courthouse on January _second_. We had something to prove."

"Mm, sounds very teenager-y."

"It was." Loki let out a hollow laugh, head dropping back against the chair. " _How stupid._ "

"Well, at least your stupid teenager thing is kind of cute and not like, a really bad tattoo or something."

"I would have been cute - as you can see, it didn't work out. The cuteness kind of dies there."

Tony sat up, draping his arms over the back of the couch and crossing an ankle over his knee. "What made you guys split, anyways?"

"A lot of things." Loki's mouth twitched, a familiar tightness squeezing his chest. "Going from zero to three kids was hard. Of course we went in knowing that, but still. It didn't help that I was finally gaining a little more traction in my career right around the same time, which took a lot of time, and meant Thor was doing a lot of the parenting. We were stressed out."

"When we were younger we'd get in to fights occasionally, usually a big blow out where we'd scream at each other for a while, one of us would stomp out, but then a couple hours later we'd make up and everything would be back to normal again... Well, you can't exactly have screaming matches with little, _sensitive_ , ears around to hear them. So, we started holding back. But not just on the big fights."

Tony scrunched his nose. "Bad plan."

" _Awful_." Loki dropped his forehead to his palm, pressing in to his temples with a finger and thumb. "I eventually started just... hating him. Even the things I used to love about him would make me want to tear my own hair out." Loki's throat tightened, fingers moving to his eyes. "There was a point where I couldn't hold it back anymore, and we started fighting about _everything_ \- even things we wouldn't have ever even fought about before. We couldn't even keep it together in front of the girls..."

Loki swallowed, sniffling as a couple tears rolled down his cheeks. Tony was silent as he stood and walked over, sitting on the edge of Loki's desk and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder as Loki silently wept.

"What's funny," Loki said, voice thick and wobbly, "is that I had always been worried that _Thor_ would be the one to leave."

 

*        *        *

 

Thor gave his mother a confused look as she pulled him in to the kitchen. Odin and Sadie were in the living room, a hearty chuckle coming from his father after Sadie said something like "you should see the other guy."

"What?" he asked, making sure to keep his voice low.

His mother's lips were set in a firm line, her shoulders squared up, which meant he was about to get a serious talking too.

"You and Loki really need to get your shit together."

Thor blinked, staring wide eyed at his mother.

She continued, "my poor granddaughter has spent the afternoon _sobbing on my shoulder_ and I know it's more about the other night than about getting in a fight with a girl who likes to parrot her hateful mother's words."

Thor's mouth opened, giving her nothing but silence.

"I know the divorce has been hard on you - it's been hard on everyone - but you two need to stop acting like the other doesn't exist when you're in the same room because you're breaking that poor girl's heart. Alyssa and Riley are just so used to it they don't even notice - or maybe they're just able to ignore it - but it isn't healthy."

Thor resisted the urge to fidget, his mouth still hanging open. Frigga took a deep breath, looking down for a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"I know you guys have both been trying. But you have to try harder now."

Thor slumped back, leaning on to the edge of the counter. "I... don't know if I can."

Frigga crossed her arms, lips taut. "That's not the correct answer."


	5. Fifteen Years Ago - Christmas Eve

Loki's feet screamed as he made his way up the winding stairs of their apartment building. The cool, musty smell of the stairway gave way to the nostril-drying sensation of being inside a radiator as he opened the door to their floor. Both were far more favorable than the scent of the unwashed masses of last-minute shoppers he had been bathing in since _six-goddamn-a.m._

He walked faster and fished his keys out of his pocket. The cheap sconces that dotted the walls between each door had a sickly yellow tint to them, while also bordering on being too dim, and for some reason it always gave Loki the creeps. There was laughing behind one door, someone fighting behind another, the little noises passed through Loki's ears without really absorbing. He sighed in relief as he finally reached their door.

A laugh burst out of him at the scene laid out for him. Thor lay naked(well, he was wearing a pair of socks at least), sprawled out and face-down on the futon, the blankets and sheets kicked in to bunches at the corners.

"Too hot," Thor protested, his voice cracking and half-muffled by the pillow under his head.

"Well _yeah_ honey, you have a fever. That's kind of the point," Loki said as he kicked the door shut and tossed his keys in to the key bowl on the floor. He toed off his shoes and switched the bags between his hands as he took off his coat before finally going to his husband's side, sitting next to his hip.

Thor's face brightened as Loki set the bags in front of his face. Lifting himself to his elbows, he asked, "did you bring me something?"

"I _did_." Loki smiled, picking out the ginormous thermos from the first bag. "First, we've got some chicken noodle soup from mom- and there's probably three more gallons of it that she'll be carting over tomorrow."

Thor let out a tiny "yay."

"And," Loki continued, reaching in to the other bag to pull out a carton of fruit punch. "Since I knew you were probably _suffering_ having to drink water, I made another little pit stop and got you your favorite juice." Thor was beaming at him then, his pale face making his eyes seem that much more blue.

"I really wanna kiss you right now but I'm all gross."

Loki chuckled and leaned over to plant a quick peck on Thor's cheek. "Luckily, you're cute even when you're all crusty and sweaty."

Thor laughed, dropping back down on to the pillow.

"You want me to heat up the soup?"

"Yes please."

Loki gave him another kiss on the top of his head before standing and taking the juice and soup in to the nook of a kitchen, putting the first in the fridge and dumping the second in to one of their two pots. He walked to their bedroom and stripped out of his work clothes as it heated up, folding them before putting them in to their overstuffed dresser and then slipping on a pair of sweats and one of Thor's t-shirts. He scoffed as he turned around to see Thor lumbering towards him.

"You really need to put some clothes on."

"They hurt," Thor whined as he wrapped his arms around Loki's waist, nuzzling his head in the crook of Loki's neck.

"Put on some pants," Loki deadpanned, already turning back to get another pair out of the dresser. "If your mother finds out I let you traipse around naked while your sick she'll fucking throttle me."

"I _am_ starting to feel a little better."

Loki stood and turned at that, reaching out to press his wrist to Thor's - yup, _burning_ \- forehead. "Go lay the fuck down, honey."

Thor groaned, dragging himself back out to the living room to flop face-down on to the futon. Loki picked out a soft pair of pants and a shirt and tossed them on to Thor's back as he strolled past.

"Your soup's probably hot now. Get dressed and I'll bring it to you."

Thor whimpered.

Loki let out a huff of laughter and sauntered back to the kitchen. Thor rolled to his side and sat up, turning his head to watch Loki as he plucked a pair of bowls from the cabinet. He watched as Loki gave the soup a stir before pouring it out in to them(a little more of it finding it's way in to Thor's bowl), a soft smile curving his lips.

Thor tore his gaze away to slip the t-shirt over his head, wrinkling his nose. The cotton felt like sandpaper on his skin. There were two soft clinks as Loki dropped a spoon in to each bowl, his sock-clad feet nearly silent on the linoleum as he spun around to grab a cup and then the punch from the fridge. Thor pulled his sweats on to his knees before falling back and wriggling them on the rest of the way, becoming out of breath from the exertion of it. His eyes drifted up to watch Loki filling the cup and putting the carton away. He sat back up as Loki brought over his soup and juice, swinging his feet off the futon and planting them on the floor.

Thor gave him a happy little hum, gulping down half the glass of juice before setting it down on the floor between his feet. He hummed louder at the first spoonful of his soup, the heat soothing some of the ache in his throat. Loki settled next to him with his own bowl a moment later, their thighs and shoulders touching.

"Why didn't you stay in our room?" Loki asked after slurping down a few spoonfuls. "It has the tv."

Thor shrugged. "The noise was giving me a headache... and I wanted to look at the tree."

Loki chuckled with a shake of his head, glancing towards their pathetic little Christmas tree. It was more of a _shrub_ , really. They hadn't planned of having any tree to save every bit of money that they could, but Loki could tell that Thor had been more than a little heartbroken over it. He'd seen them lined up in front of a small hardware store on his way home from work the week before and... _he couldn't resist_. Even though the thing barely had any branches or needles, he spent the few dollars they were asking for it and dragged it all the way back home.

The way Thor's face had lit up made all the sap and needles worth it.

Thor propped it up with some of their unsold textbooks and decorated it with an old string of lights a kind neighbor gave to them, along with some snowflakes he cut out of coffee filters. Loki had to admit afterwords that it had it's charm.

He smiled and nuzzled Thor's shoulder before giving it a kiss.

"How was work?" Thor asked, his voice cracking and turning croaky.

" _Bleugh_. I fucking hate working retail."

"Sorry babe," he said, kissing Loki's shoulder. "At least you'll be done with school soon."

Loki sighed, "yeah."

They were quiet for a few moments, slurping and clinking their spoons in turns.

Then Thor said softly, "my dad offered me a job."

Loki's eyes narrowed as he looked at Thor, setting his bowl on his knees. "When?"

Thor's smile was a touch uncomfortable as he answered, "a few weeks ago."

Loki's eyebrows shot up and Thor made a face.

"I know. I just needed to think about it on my own first."

"But... I don't understand..."

Thor set his bowl down and cleared his throat. " _I know_ \- But it's been a couple years and... I've missed talking to both my parents." Thor let out a small cough and cleared his throat again. "So, I called him and asked him if we could meet up for lunch sometime."

Loki looked down at his bowl, biting his lip and running his thumbs along the edges of it.

"He's really sorry about what he said," Thor continued, reaching over to wrap his hand around Loki's wrist. "And he's proud of us for proving him wrong."

Loki looked back at Thor, who gave him another little smile.

"He said I could start working at the company in January if I wanted to."

Loki bit his lip, glancing at their tree. "What do you want to do?"

Thor leaned over and pecked his cheek. "If you don't want me too, I won't take it."

Loki's eyes fell back to Thor with a wry look. "That's not really what I asked."

Thor shrugged, slurping down another spoonful of soup.

"Do you _want_ to take the job?" Loki sighed.

Thor looked down in to his bowl, taking a few breaths through his mouth. "Kind of... I mean, I don't know what I want to _do_ like you do, and... I just always thought of myself eventually taking it over anyways."

Loki reached over, grasping Thor's chin and turning Thor's face to him. "If you want to take the job, _just take the damn job_."

Thor laughed, the sound wheezy and dry, and shook Loki's hand away. His laughter tapered off with a sigh, bending sideways to rest his head on Loki's shoulder.

"Are you done?"

Thor nodded. Loki took Thor's bowl and carefully stacked it on to his, bending to snatch the cup from between Thor's feet as he stood.

" _Mm_ , wait-" Thor snatched the cup back, guzzling down the rest of the juice and handing the empty cup back to Loki with a little smile.

Loki bent down and kissed him on the bridge of his nose before walking to the kitchen to dump the bowls and cup in to the sink. "You wanna sleep out here or in the bedroom?"

"Out here."

" _Dork_ ," Loki scoffed.

"Shut up," Thor whined, "I'm _sick_."

"Whatever, you big damn dork," Loki said as he walked back in to the living room, flicking the lights off so that their apartment was only lit by the tree. Thor sagged down on to his side and pulled his feet up, cuddling the pillow under his head. "Big or little?"

Thor hummed as he thought it over a moment. "Little."

Loki was grinning as he climbed on to the futon behind Thor, fitting their legs together and draping an arm around Thor's waist. "Good?"

" _Mm-hmm_."

Loki kissed the back of Thor's neck, burying his nose in to the mess of blond waves in front of it.

"Do you think you can forgive him?"

"Was he really sorry?"

Thor's hair rustled against the pillowcase as he nodded.

Loki took a deep breath and let it out slow. "Yeah."

He felt Thor relax under his arm. He knit his fingers with Loki's, his thumb rubbing Loki's palm. "Thank you."

Loki kissed the side of his neck. "Go to sleep."

 

*        *        *

 

Loki was jostled awake by Thor's trembling. He reached up and felt his cheek, the skin sweaty and cold. He sat up and grabbed the comforter bunched up in the corner and dragged it up to tuck it around Thor, smoothing the fabric over Thor's side and pressing a kiss to his sticky temple.

He sat up with a heavy sigh, legs criss-crossed and elbows resting on his knees, and looked to their tree.

His eyes were caught on a small box tucked under it. He must've missed it earlier. Carefully, he climbed over Thor's slumbering body and sank down on to the floor. He smiled when he grabbed the little box, it's wrapping paper all crinkled and crooked. Thor's handiwork, that was for sure. He held it to his ear and gave it a gentle shake, getting nothing but silence in return.

"Hey."

Loki jumped at the sound of Thor's scratchy voice, pressing his hand over his heart as he twisted to look at his husband's sleepy, smirking face. "You scared the shit out of me."

Thor gave a throaty chuckle, bending his upper half forward and folding his arms to rest his chin on them. "You were snooping."

Loki held up the box. "We weren't doing presents."

Thor shrugged, barely managing to look anything close to innocent. "Santa must've snuck in when we were sleeping."

Loki cocked a brow at him. "Was he also drunk when he wrapped it?"

"Maybe he likes his eggnog," Thor said with another shrug, lips twisting. "I hear the missus can be a real nag."

Loki threw his head back with a laugh, swatting Thor's arm. "Okay, really, what is it?"

"Maybe you could try _opening it_ , babe."

Loki rolled his eyes, a found smile tugging the corners of his lips as he tore away the paper. The box itself was black, with a pebbled texture. He glanced at Thor before opening it. Inside was a velvety little cushion that housed two shiny, silver bands. He looked back to Thor, eyes wide.

"Hopefully this one won't turn your finger green," Thor said with a broad smile.

"How did you afford this?" he asked as he shook his head.

"Took out a very small loan from the bank of My Dad," he answered, sitting up and climbing down on to the floor next to Loki. He took the box from Loki gently, pursing his lips as he played with the rings in their little bed. "I just wanted to get something nice for you."

Loki curled in to Thor's side, hugging his waist. "You didn't have to-"

"I know," Thor interrupted, "I wanted to."

Loki bit his lip and pressed his face in to the clammy side of Thor's neck. Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing him tight and kissing his head.

"Can I put it on you?"

Loki sniffed as he nodded and sat up, holding his hand out to Thor.  
Thor gave him a lopsided grin, setting the box between them before taking Loki's hand in his. He tugged the gold band off Loki's ring finger gently, the cheap metal creased where it had gotten bent when Loki had his hand smashed under a box at work earlier in the year. Thor palmed it and kissed his finger, right on the little green-grey shadow it left behind on Loki's pale skin. He dropped the old ring in the box and pulled one of the new bands out. Loki noticed now that it had a swirling design in gold set on to it's shiny surface.

"I thought this one was the prettiest," he said, waving the ring a little. He slipped it on to Loki's finger (breathing a silent sigh of relief when it fit) and pressed his lips to Loki's knuckle before moving to his lips.

Loki took his hand, unable to to reign in his grin as he looked at the new glinting ring on his finger. It was thicker and heavier than the old one, more solid. "I love it."

Loki could count all of Thor's teeth with how big his smile was.

"My turn," Loki said, hands held out to Thor, fingers wriggling. Thor slapped his hand on to Loki's, knees bouncing a little. Thor's ring had chips at the edges, the thin layer of silver worn away in some places to reveal the darker metal underneath. He copied Thor, kissing the the imprint left on his finger before dropping the old ring with it's partner and plucking up the new one. His had a thin line of smooth, black stone running through the middle.

"It kinda looks like a storm cloud in brighter lighting," Thor explained.

Loki let out a little huff of laughter, leaning over to kiss him before slipping the new ring on to his finger, kissing the knuckle above it just as Thor had done.

They both sighed, heavy and happy, leaning on to each other and constantly glancing done at their hands.

Above them came three loud thumps, then a scattering of smaller ones - what the hell that noise could be, would be a mystery for the ages. Thor sighed again and lifted his arm to hug Loki tighter to his side.

"I'm buying us a house next."

Loki hummed and nodded against Thor's shoulder.

"I'm serious."

"It better have wood flooring," Loki mumbled, curling his toes against the scratchy and perpetually gross looking carpet. "Something dark, too. Or I won't accept it."

"What else? I don't wanna fuck up."

Loki hummed again, thinking for a minute. "A big bathroom with a nice shower, maybe a tub we can both fit in to, but that's not as important."

"Good to know."

"And lots of windows," Loki added, "I'm sick of feeling like we live in a cave."

"Windows- check."

Loki crawled back up on to the futon, dragging Thor with him by the wrist. Thor settled on to his back and Loki plastered himself to his side, covering them both with the blanket. He reached up and felt Thor's forehead, relived to find it only a little warmer than normal.

" _Ooh_ , and a big yard so I can watch you get all sweaty doing yard work in the summer," Loki said as he tangled their feet together.

Thor chuckled.

"I think that's it."

"Okay, so," Thor said, holding his hand up to count off Loki's list. "Dark wood flooring, a big bathroom, lots of windows, and a big yard."

Loki nodded.

"I'll keep all of that in mind."

"What about you?"

"I like all the stuff on your list."

"There's noting you want in a house?"

"Aside from you?" Thor said, raising an eyebrow.

Loki scoffed and smacked his chest.

Thor chuckled, catching Loki's hand before he could pull it away and holding it there. "Nothing I want would an actual part of the house."

"Like what?"

"I want a big bed. Like, _king size_. With _piles_ of blankets and pillows."

Loki hummed his approval. "Anything else?"

"A couch big enough for us to cuddle on. Maybe a hammock in the backyard that can hold both of us too."

Loki let out a small snort of laughter. "I sense a pattern."

"You knew I was cuddler when you married me."

"I _did_."

Thor yawned as he squeezed Loki's shoulders, nuzzling his hair.

Loki yawned a second after smiling softly against Thor's shoulder, his eyelids too heavy to stay open any longer. "Merry Christmas."

Thor kissed his hair. "Merry Christmas."


	6. Present Day

This sweater was making him itch. It was too heavy and, add in the stifling heat pumping in to the cafe, rivulets of sweat were pouring down Thor's back and chest. Or maybe it was just his nerves getting the better of him.

He had his hands wrapped around the festively decorated paper cup holding his latte, his eyes trained on the little oblong opening on the plastic cap and not on the decoration crammed walls or the big, painted windows the faced out in to the street. It had begun snowing just after he got here, little flurries that barely stuck to the ground, accompanied by cheery acoustic Christmas song covers.

It was all perfectly cozy and nice, which made it that much more awful. His mind unhelpfully supplied thoughts of how if it was a different time, he'd have been happy to be here, waiting for Loki.

He forced himself to take a sip of his drink, since scalding his taste-buds would at least distract him from his more painful thoughts for a second. He checked his phone just as the bell above the front door chimed. He glanced over his shoulder automatically, heart-rate spiking as his eyes landed on Loki. He watched Loki dust the snowflakes off his shoulders before he managed to tear them away. He waited, hands and feet unable to keep still, listening to Loki walk up to the counter and order a coffee.

Loki's footsteps faltered as he stepped away from the counter, letting out an audible exhale before he walked up to the table Thor sat at. Loki slipped his coat off and sat down in the seat across from Thor. The table was small, meaning that their legs bumping together was damn near impossible to avoid.

All they did for the first few minutes was avoid looking at each other. The place felt uncomfortably empty and quiet.

They both jumped as Thor's phone buzzed on the table; Thor was quick to pick it up and answer. "Yeah, we're both here..."

Loki could just make out Frigga's voice on the other end, as stern and forceful as it had been when she'd called him earlier to set this whole thing up, saying something with "talk" and "don't leave" before abruptly ending the call. Loki could almost laugh at the sort of chastised-little-boy look on Thor's face if he wasn't sure he had one of his own on.

Thor waited a second after setting his phone back down, taking a deep breath. "Well," he sighed.

"Well," Loki repeated. He wiped his sweaty palms on the legs of his trousers. This was terrible.

Thor sucked in another breath. "So, um, how's work?"

This is where they were at. Small talk.

"Good," Loki answered, barely managing to force a tight smile on to his face. "How is it for you?"

"Good," Thor repeated.

More silence.

Loki took a big gulp of his coffee, cringing as it burned going down his throat. "We're going to be here the rest of the day at this rate," he sighed.

"Yeah," Thor huffed. His hands wound around the base of his cup, his lips curving in to a small frown, his eyes fixed on the spot of the table just beside Loki's hands.

"How's Sadie?" That had to be at least something they could talk about.

Thor cleared his throat and nodded. "She's good- Well, her eye is fine" He cleared his throat again, his coming up to knead the back of his neck. "I think she knows mom yelled at me," he added with a wince. "And she's been a little more withdrawn."

Loki sagged forward, resting his head in his palm. "Frigga's right, isn't she."

"She always seems to be," Thor said with a sad chuckle.

"What are we going to do?"

Thor finally looked up at Loki, his face turned down towards the table with a grave look. This close he could take in some of tiny details of his face - a few fine creases on his forhead he hadn't remembered being there before, his pink, slightly dry lips, his eyelashes - that he'd avoided looking at whenever the oppertunity arose. It made Thor's chest ache.

"We could try doing something together, all of us." Truth be told, Thor had kept that in the back of his mind since after his mother's talking to, when he wasn't totally consumed with dread thinking about this. It was the only think he managed to think of.

Loki glanced up at him, eyebrow twitching. "Like what?"

Thor shrugged. He hadn't thought that far.

Loki looked away again, out the window. The flurries had turned in to big, fluffy flakes, gracefully drifting down to the cold ground and coating it in a thickening layer of white.

Loki looked back his way and said, "maybe when the girls come to my place on Friday night you can stay for dinner? I usually order pizza."

Thor nodded. That was something, at least. "Okay."

 

*        *        *

 

"So? How'd it go?"

Thor sagged down in to the chair in front of his father's desk, sighing. "It went... it just went."

Odin raised his eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm going to stay for dinner when I drop the girls off on friday."

"That's good."

"Is it?" Thor's head lolled on the back of the chair, his face twisting as he gazed up at the white ceiling.

Odin sighed, "well, it's something. I'm sure your mother will be pleased enough to hear it- Which, by the way, she didn't give you half the hell she wanted to, I got the brunt of it. You can thank me when you're in a better mood."

Thor smiled a little. It fell as he lifted his head, sitting up only to droop over, arms rested on his knees. "Is it ever going to not hurt? God, just looking at him..." Thor inhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over his eyes as they began to burn.

There was rustling as Odin stood and walked over, laying a heavy hand laying on Thor's shoulder a second later. "I wish I could tell you that. I really wish I could."

 

*        *        *

 

"Your zen is all fucked today." Natasha's voice came out strained with her her legs held over her head.

Loki clenched his jaw and glared at the tips of his toes. "Thanks for noticing," he huffed back.

"You're welcome."

The instructor's voice was calm and soothing, telling the class to carefully bring their legs down.

He tried to focus on breathing, letting his legs drop slowly until his toes were resting on the mat above his head. All he could manged to think of was Thor's face. He nearly toppled sideways in to the woman on the mat beside him. Again.

At his other side, Natasha hummed.

Loki huffed, easing his limbs back in to less precarious positions and rolled up on to his knees. He sank forward, letting his forehead rest on the mat. Fuck it, he thought, he'd been waiting to curl up in to a ball since Frigga called him that morning and he managed to make it the rest of the day. He earned this.

He stayed just like that for the rest of the class, ignoring the instructor's practiced calm tone and trying not to get weepy as his mind spun around what his life had become.

He stilled sniffled a little as the instructor finally ended the class and he dragged himself up to his feet and slipped on his sweat shirt. Natasha kept glancing his way as they packed their things up.

"You okay?" she asked as she pulled her hair out her ponytail and shook her hair out.

"Lovely."

She arched one finely groomed eyebrow. "Don't you look it."

Loki glared at her.

"Spill it."

Loki sighed in annoyance and shoved his feet in to his shoes and stuffed his mat under his armpit, giving her no answer until they were out of the room.

"After Sadie got in her fight yesterday I dropped her off with Frigga," Loki said as they walked through the nearly deserted gym, "and Sadie, I don't know, I guess she started crying and Frigga thought it was because of the other night."

Natasha nodded her head a little, keeping pace with Loki.

Loki stopped in front of one of the machines and flopped down on to the padded seat, draping his arm over another padded part of the contraption. "She made me and Thor get together for coffee to talk about how we could get along better."

Natasha's face twisted in to a sympathetic frown as she nodded again. "So that's why you've been especially weird today."

Loki began chewing on a thumbnail, only to remember that was Thor's nervous tick and force his hand back down. "He's staying over for pizza on Friday when he drops off the girls."

Natasha raised her eyebrows at that. "Sounds fun."

"God," Loki groaned, dragging his hands over his face. "How the fuck am I supposed do this?"

She was quiet for a few moments, leaning on the machine next to the one Loki sat on. "Seems strange that you're freaking out so much about having dinner with him since from what you've told me, your divorce wasn't particularly contentious."

"It wasn't," Loki confirmed, "I asked for a divorce and he went with it. My lawyer said it was one of the easiest cases he'd ever gotten. No custody fights or squabbling over who got what vase or whatever."

"That's good though, right?"

"I guess it is." Loki bit down on his lip, his throat going tight with his swirling emotions and thoughts.

"It's just dinner, Loki. It'll be fine."

Loki glanced up at Natasha.

"Really," she said, grabbing his arm and dragging him back to his feet. "It'll be fine."

Loki sighed and slogged forward, the soles of his shoes catching on the smooth floor with each step.

"Have you tried dating at all?" she asked a moment later.

Loki exhaled noisily, dragging a hand through his hair. "I looked a little at some different dating apps and sites but it just wasn't," he trailed off with a gesture of his hand. "I don't know, I guess I'm just too old for it."

Natasha rolled her eyes.

Loki swatted the air and huffed, "you know what I mean... I just- I don't want to."

Natasha quirked an eyebrow at him.

"I just want to work and spend as much time with my daughters as I can, is that better?"

Natasha shrugged. "It's fine for me. You don't seem fine though."

"Yeah well, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Something, probably."

Loki frowned, gaze falling to the floor, his thoughts scrambled and useless.

"You know what you need to do right now? Take your mind off it."  
Loki gestured towards the empty room they just came out of and scoffed, "you don't think I've been trying that."

Her head lolled back as she rolled her eyes, . "Do you wanna go out and get drunk or not, numbnuts?"

Loki chuckled, "well, when you put it that way."

Natasha slapped his arm before speeding up, continuing towards the entrance to the locker rooms. "Then lets hurry the fuck out of here."

 

*        *        *

 

Sadie snapped her pencil down and rubbed hers eyes, aching from a full day of staring at papers and computer screens. Thor walked up behind her, rubbing her back between her shoulders as he leaned over to look at the sheet she was working on.

"How much more do you have?"

"Like, four more of these worksheets and a book report."

Thor winced in sympathy. "Well, finish up with this one and then we'll head off to papa's. You can finish the rest when you come home Sunday."

Sadie inhaled deeply, picking up her pencil and trying to focus on the words in her textbook. Thor hung back in the kitchen - just in case she ended up needing help with something - and looked through the cabinets, mentally cataloging all the things he needed to stock up on at the grocery store. He felt his his own frustration rising as he listened to her quiet, frustrated sighs. The scratching of the pencil on paper and then brief pauses as she erased something. He wished he could just talk to her without worrying so much about saying the wrong thing.

Sadie slammed the book shut when she finished the last question on the sheet, shoving that along with her notebooks and pencil case in to her backpack where it sat against a leg of the dining table. Thor closed the cabinet, leaning against his forearms on the counter, watching her and trying to untie his tongue.

"So..." he started, catching Sadie's attention. She looked back at him, blinking as she waited for him to continue. He stood, tapping his fingers on the counter top. "How's everything?"

Sadie shrugged a shoulder, looking a little bewildered at the question. "Fine."

Thor could feel the tightness in his smile. He nodded. "Good."

Sadie nodded back. "I'm gonna go pack my stuff now."

"Yeah, right. Go ahead and do that... Can you check on your sisters while you're at it?"

"Sure," she said, hopping out of her seat, bag slung over her shoulder.

Thor sighed, sinking back down on to his elbows and covering his face with hands. He was so goddamn lost here.

 

*        *        *

 

Sadie gave him a confused look as he parked the van in the parking lot of Loki's apartment complex and moved to take off his seat belt. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, well, me and papa had a talk the other day and we thought it might be fun if I stayed over for dinner tonight."  
Riley's head poked from between the seats. "Really!?"

"Yup."

Riley and Alyssa let out delighted squeals and scurried out of the van, little overnight bags in hand. Thor chuckled, shaking his head as he watched them run towards the staircase that led to Loki's apartment.

Sadie just kept staring at him, eyes narrowed.

Thor smiled. "It'll be fun." He hoped it didn't sound like a lie.

Sadie watched him for another moment before grabbing her bag from between her feet and stepping out of the van. Thor took a deep breath, letting it out with a loud woosh. He bent forward and grabbed the sixpack he'd gotten before he picked the girls up from school out from under the seat and stepped out.

Loki tugged on the hem of his t-shirt in front of the full length mirror attached to the back of his closet door, ran his hands over the creases that formed from sitting folded in his dresser. His hands shook and his head was beginning to sweat.

"Goddammit, what am I doing?" He huffed, shutting the closet door and combing his fingers in to the roots of his hair to give it a shake. "It's just fucking _pizza_."

He could hear the feet stampeding towards the door as he walked out of his bedroom, a smile breaking out on his face as he jogged down the stairs and swung it open. He was tackled by Riley and and Alyssa a second later. He knelt down to give them each hugs and kisses. Nodded along as they talked his ears off with their excited news about what happened at school during the week while he helped them get their boots and coats off.

He gave them each another kiss before shooing them off to go and unpack their things. Sadie was standing in the doorway when he turned back, looking a little tense. The bruise on her eye was already fading in to a greenish shadow in the corner of her eye. He pulled her in to a tight hug, swinging from side-to-side a little.

"And how are you," he asked as he pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ear.

She shrugged, giving him a half smile. Thor appeared in the doorway behind her a second later and Loki's spine straightened, giving him a tight smiled. Sadie dipped under his arm and strode towards the staircase, running up them and to her room.

Loki inhaled and stepped aside. "Come on in," he said with a gesture of his arm.

Thor gave him a small smile as he stepped inside, raising the sixpack he brought along. "Got this for us to split, if that's okay?"

Loki chuckled, carefully taking it out of his hand. "That's great. I'll go stick these in the fridge."

Thor nodded and watched Loki walk off. He took his boots and coat off, glancing around in the small apartment as he tucked both out of the way and walking further inside.

He'd only ever seen the place from the outside. It was more like clusters of duplexes than a regular apartment complex. It was cozy, a small, open kitchen leading out to a big living and dining area. At one side was a set of sliding glass doors that opened to a concrete patio, beside it sat the stair case that Thor could assume lead up to the bedrooms. There was a big, black couch a few feet in front of the doors, with a coffee table in front of that, and a tv along the opposite wall. A small plastic Christmas tree sat beside it, all decked out with lights and tiny ornaments. As Thor looked closer he noticed that pictures of their daughters were strewn along almost every flat surface of the place.

"This is nice," he said, shoving his hands in to the pockets of his jeans.  
Loki leaned against the counter, shrugged with his arms crossed over his chest, giving Thor a flash of a smile. There was a thumping above them, and then Riley and Alyssa came running down the stairs and straight for Thor.

Each grabbed on to a hand and began trying to drag him to the stairs. "You gotta come look at our room!"

Thor glanced back to Loki, who just shrugged again.

"I'd love to," Thor said with a smile, letting himself be pulled across the floor. He marched up slowly behind them, taking the steps two at a time while the girls ran up them. They dragged him to one of the four doors on the second floor and in to a room with bunk beds and pinks curtains on the windows. Alyssa and Riley kept a hold of his hands as they guided him around the room, continually talking over each other as they showed him where they kept their clothes and toys, before moving on to the pictures and stickers on the walls. Thor and nodded along throughout the tour, _oohing_ and _aahing_ at the appropriate times.

Alyssa bounced on her toes, gripping on to the side of Thor's t-shirt as she asked, "did you notice how clean everything is dad?"

"I did," he chuckled softly, "I'm glad I don't have to hassle you about it so much."

Alyssa beamed at.

"I folded the clothes," Riley scoffed.

Alyssa's smile dropped and she glared at her sister. "No you didn't!" she snapped back.

"I did."

"I helped!"

"Whoa," Thor said as he held his hands out. "I'm glad you both keep your room clean. So no fighting, alright?"

"Okay," they murmured simultaneously.

"Good," Thor said with a nod of his head. "I'm gonna go look at Sadie's room now, and I don't want here any fighting, got it?"

"Got it."

Thor narrowed his eyes, pointing his finger at the two of them and whispering, "I'll be listening."

Both girls giggled and ran to their toy chest as Thor walked out of the room. Glancing around, he noticed the bathroom, the door open and lights off, the door beside it was the only one of the four that was closed. Loki's room, he thought with a strange little pang in his chest.  
He turned to the other door, at the other side of Riley and Alyssa's. 

Thor leaned against the doorjamb, arms crossed, looking around at the comparatively bare walls of Sadie's room. Her's had a low dresser with a large mirror on top of it, a bookshelf sat along the wall with the door, mostly filled with some of her old toys and knick-knacks, few framed photos and books.

"You want me to give you the grand tour?" Sadie asked with a lazy gesture of her hand as she laid on the bed.

Thor huffed out a small laugh. "Sure."

Sadie cleared her throat and crossed her legs as she rolled up. She spread her arms out wide, her phone tucked in one hand and said, "ta-daa."

Thor laughed and walked further inside, sitting down at the end of the bed. They sat there quietly for a few minutes as Thor tried to find some words that probably needed to be said at that moment.

Loki sat on the couch, staring at the black screen of the television, elbows on his knees and chin resting on his knuckles. He jumped when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket, leaning back to tug it free. It was a text from Natasha.

[How's it going?]

Loki sighed, scratching his head. [Fine I guess. They only got here a little bit ago and he's been upstairs for most of it.]

[Keep me updated.]

[Ok.]

There was a knock on the front door as soon as he hit send. "Pizza's here," he shouted as he stood, snatching his wallet from the counter as he made his way to the door. He smiled as he opened the door and greeted the delivery guy, the stampeding of feet following just seconds later. He grabbed the boxes, handing them off to Riley before opening his wallet. Cash handed over and a quick goodnight and happy holidays, he shut the door, turning back just in time to see Thor coming down the last few steps.

Okay, focus. Try and act like it's any other Friday night. He clapped his hands together. "I'll get the plates and drinks."

Thor stayed back, watching as the girls seemed to all fall in to a routine. 

Sadie turned off her phone and set it on one of the shelves surrounding the television before grabbing the remote and finding something to watch. Alyssa ran over to the other side of the room, opening the door to a linen closet and dragging out four big pillows, while Riley set the pizzas side by side on the coffee table and went to help Loki with the drinks.

He wasn't sure if he ever felt _so_ out of place.

Riley came trotting back with three small cans of soda, Loki striding in just behind her with plates and napkins stacked in one hand and two bottles of the beer Thor brought in the other. Thor took that as his cue and joined them. Loki held one of the bottles towards him and he took it with a small smile, cracking it open while Loki set the plates down on the table. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and set it next to Sadie's before sitting down on one of the pillows, Sadie at one side and Riley at the other.

"Sit here, dad," Alyssa chirped, smacking the pillow a few times.

"Thank you sweetheart," he said, crossing his legs as he sank down to the floor. Alyssa climbed in to his lap a second later.

When the plates and pizza were distributed, and the beer began to settle in, Loki felt almost a little relaxed. It was going well. A little quieter, but nice. Sadie had found a show that was just silly clips of animals, perfectly mindless and amusing enough to ease some of the tension. He smiled, reaching over to give her arm a little squeeze. She looked over to him, eyebrows raised.

"How's the eye."

"It's fine. How's your nose?"

Loki sniffed automatically. "All better now."

He saw Thor look back at them, eyes bouncing back and forth between them. "Your nose?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Helen punched me when we were at the school about the fight," he answered, "I thought Sadie or your mom would've told you."

Thor's eyes widened, a look of astonishment quickly twisting in to anger. "She fucking _punched_ you!?"

" _BAD WORD_ ," Riley and Alyssa called out simultaneously, their eyes locked on to the tv screen.

"Yeah, sorry." Thor cleared his throat. "You called the police, right?"

Loki sighed, "no, it kind of slipped my mind."

Loki could see Thor's jaw clench, dropping the slice of pizza in his hand back down on his plate. "I just can't _fu-_ ... I can't believe she'd do something like that."

Loki let out a snort of laughter, taking a bit of his pizza. "I can."

Thor looked away, nostrils flaring as he let out an un-amused huff of laughter, his hand curling in to a fist on the table.

Loki chuckled, "oh honey, don't give yourself a stroke over it."

Sadie's eyebrow shot up, glancing between her father's as they both froze. She watched as dad's slightly wide-eyed stare went back to papa, while papa kept his gaze forward, grabbing his beer to and gulping more of it down.

Thor looked away eventually, forcing himself to look at the tv instead. 

They stayed quiet, watching the clips as they ate and laughing when the younger girls did.

Loki cleared his throat and asked Sadie, "how's your class with Hope been, anyways."

"Principal Fury talked to Mrs. Dunlap and she moved us in to different seats."

"So she hasn't been bothering you?"

Sadie scoffed, "not _yet_."

Loki clapped a hand over her knee, giving it a squeeze. A few minutes passed with out anyone speaking, Thor and Loki each draining their beers. Loki stood, taking both the empty bottles and tossing them in the recycling before grabbing two more from the fridge. He handed one to Thor as he sat back down.

Sadie glanced between her father's, an idea popping in her head. "Can dad stay and play a game with us?"

Riley and Alyssa both perked up, gasping and whipping their heads back to look back at them.

Riley bounced in her seat, grabbing Loki's arm. "Can he, papa?"

"Well," Loki started, glancing to Thor as he scratched behind his ear, "if he would like to..."

Alyssa turned around in Thor's lap, grabbing the collar of his t-shirt and pulling her face close to his. " _Pleeeease?_ "

Thor laughed, simultaneously prying her hands off his shirt and spinning her back around, hugging her to his chest. "I guess I can stay a little longer. I'll need to wait a bit before I can drive anyways."

Alyssa kicked her feet out. "Yay!"

 

*        *        *

 

Sadie narrowed her eyes at Thor, a smirk that looked almost a little too much like Loki's forming on her face. "Got any twos?"

Thor groaned, handing his last card over to her. She grinned as she snatched the card out of his hand, setting all four of the twos down on the table. Most of the cards were set in front of her at that point.

"I didn't know you could be ruthless playing go fish."

Sadie grinned, puffing her chest out as she turned to Loki. "Got any kings?"

Loki arched an eyebrow, inhaling as he sat up straighter and looked down his nose at the three cards in his hand, then back to Sadie. He deflated a second later and handed two of his cards to her. "Damn."  
Sadie let out an evil giggle setting down four cards and pretty much ending the game.

While Sadie reveled in her (fourth) victory, Riley sulked at the other side of the table. "She _always_ wins."

"You're just crying because you're _always_ the first one out," Sadie snapped back as she she shuffled the cards.

"Sadie," Thor and Loki warned in unison.

They glanced to one another, gazes lingering briefly before Loki looked to Riley.

"Look at me," he said to Riley when she kept pouting at the table, her eyes snapping up towards him. "Do we need to have another talk about this?"

Riley shook her head a little, her bottom lip still jutting out.

"Okay," she replied quietly.

"Maybe we should play another game now?" Thor cut in.

Alyssa perked up, tearing her eyes off the tv to say, "can we play that slap game?" She slapped her own hand to demonstrate.

Thor looked to Loki, his eyebrows raised. "Slap game?"

"Egyptian Rat Screw," Loki explained, taking the deck as Sadie slid it to him.

"Oh, this should be fun."

 

*        *        *

 

Riley and Alyssa both look exhausted, leaning into one another on the pillow they shared and yawning constantly. The cards sat in a pile in front of them, all but forgotten.

"Are you guys ready for bed?"

They both shook their heads.

Loki snorted, handing his cards off to Sadie - who was looking even perkier than usual - and stood from the floor. He groaned as his body protested, his knees twinging just a little. He bent over the two girls, trying in vain to get them both moving. He tickled their sides, which only manged to make them giggle and squirm.

Thor got to his feet with a huff. "How about I take Riley and you take Alyssa?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Sadie watched with a small smile, slowly shuffling the deck as she watched her parents pick up her sisters, the both of them smiling and laughing as they carried them upstairs.

_There was hope_.

She hopped up and grabbed her phone off the shelf by the tv, flopping back down on the couch as she turned it on. She frowned a little when she saw no new messages. Whatever.

Riley sagged in Thor's arms as soon as she spat out the remnants of her toothpaste, forcing him to scoop her back up in his arms and carry her to the bedroom. Loki already had Alyssa in the bottom bunk, tickling her neck before dragging the blanket up to it and kissing her cheek.

Thor tossed Riley up on to the top bunk, a little _oof_ coming from her as she bounced on the mattress. He helped tug the blanket down as she squirmed to get under it, flipping it over her body when she was settled. Thor kissed her goodnight and that he'd see her on Sunday, switching seamlessly with Loki to do the same with Alyssa.

They were both smiling as they walked out of the bedroom, bouncing whispered _goodnight_ 's back and forth with the girls. Loki sighed as he shut the door behind him, his smile softening at Thor as they stood there for a moment.

"I should probably get going," Thor said, his smiling falling a little.

Loki forced his own smile to stay in place as he nodded. "Are you going to be good to drive?"

"It's been a few hours so I should be okay."

Loki bit his lip and nodded again. He lead the way back downstairs, where Sadie sat alone on the couch. Thor came up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. Her head dropped back to look up at him.

"I'm gonna head off now."

"Okay," she replied, sounding only a little disappointed.

They exchanged quiet goodbyes, finishing it with a kiss on her forehead before he stood. He looked back to Loki, waving as he gave him a small smile. Loki returned both gestures and watched as Thor bundled up and walked out the door. His eyes lingered there for a moment. He looked away when he realized Sadie was watching him.

"Are you tired yet?"

"Not really."

Loki grinned. "Up for a late night ice cream party?"

Sadie grinned back at him. "Definitely."

 

*        *        *

 

Loki fell face first in to bed, feeling bloated and just weird. He pushed himself up on to his elbows and unlocked his phone, typing out a quick message. She replied less than a minute later.

[Told you it'd be fine.]

[Why the hell are you up so late?]

[I could ask you the same thing.]

[I was having a late night talk with my daughter over ice cream. What were you doing?]

[Wouldn't you LOVE to know. So, getting all that juicy middle school gossip?]

[Mostly it was just her ranting about how her best friend has been ignoring her since she got her first boyfriend.]

[Ah, those days. I remember them like they were yesterday. They sucked.]

Loki let out a small snort of laughter. [I did my best to comfort her and tried to hide my horror at a 13 year old having a boyfriend.]

[I'm sure you managed.]

[I'm just so glad I never had to be a teenage girl.]

[If you ever need a little help, you have a certified former teenage girl here.]

[Good to know.]

[By the way, I can't believe TONY got to meet your kids before me. You bitch.]

Loki laughed softly at his screen. [He foisted himself upon them technically.]

[Well I better get to meet them next.]

[Okay, fine.]

[You should bring them to the office party next week. I'd bet they'd love it.]

[I'll think about it.]

[You better.]

[I better get to sleep actually, and so should you.]

[Whatever, dad.]

Loki scoffed, setting his phone face down on the nightstand. He yawned and dropped down on to the pillow, the sudden lack of distraction leaving him all alone with a hollow ache. He turned his body towards the empty side of the bed, his jumbled thoughts turning to a sort of aimless sadness. He frowned in to his pillow and forced his eyes shut.


	7. Twelve Years Ago - Christmas Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this looks like such a tiny nugget of a chapter compared to the last behemoth)

Loki tumbled in to the passenger's seat of the car while Thor got behind the wheel, slamming the door shut as soon as his legs were folded inside even though the interior of the car was just as cold as the outside.

"Fuck," Loki groaned, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "It's too goddamn early to be alive right now."

Thor, looking far more awake than Loki could even imagine being at daybreak, gave him a bright smile and pulled a sleep-mask out of his pocket, thrusting it out to Loki. "Then put this on and take a little nap."

Loki narrowed his eyes at Thor, looking between his husband's face and the mask. He hesitated before taking it a moment later, shooting another suspicious glance Thor's way.

"Why couldn't you wait to show me this gift at a more reasonable hour, anyways?"

Thor shrugged his shoulders. "I just couldn't wait any longer to show you. That's all."

Loki cocked an eyebrow, turning the mask in his hands, examining the black satin and elastic band. "Is it going to be some sort of weird sex thing?"

Thor let out a snort of laughter and gave a vigorous shake of his head. 

"Nope."

"Good. I can't possibly _that_ boring yet."

Thor's eyes raked over Loki, his smile twisting in to something a bit more impish. "You definitely don't have to worry about that."

Loki rolled his eyes even as a fond smile broke over his face. "Just drive, loverboy."

" _Put it on_."

Loki let out a put-upon sigh, slipping the mask on his head. He fell asleep a little more than five minutes after Thor had pulled out of the parking complex, waking up sometime later to Thor's gentle coaxing.

"We're here, babe," Thor said softly, shaking Loki's shoulder. Loki shuddered as cold air washed over him, shaking him out of his sleepy stupor that much quicker. His hand went to the pull off the mask, only to have Thor stop him.

"Not just yet."

Loki grunted, grabbing Thor's arms as he carefully helped Loki out of the car. Thor held his shoulders as he guided him to whatever spot he thought would make for the best reveal, moving behind him when he found it. They weren't in the city, from what Loki could sense. 

Everything was quieter, the sound of cars distant and the wind seemed a softer. The smell was better, too.

"Ready?" Thor whispered in to his ear, making Loki shiver.

Loki nodded, feeling Thor's fingers hook under the elastic. Loki opened his eyes as the mask was lifted away, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the light.

They were in front of a house. Two stories. Slightly dirty white siding and overgrown shrubs under the windows. Their car sat in front of the garage. Loki gaped at it, his mind blank. A whole minute passed before it managed to catch up and he gasped when he realized. He spun around to face Thor, his mouth still hanging open.

Thor was grinning at him.

"You didn't!"

"I did... Well, mostly. It's almost ours, we both need to sign some of the paperwork and things like that, but it's basically ours."

Loki jumped in to Thor's arms and buried his face in to his messy hair, laughing manically and kicking his feet back.

He jumped back, shoving Thor's shoulder. "You ass," he admonished, though the smile on his face was far from it. "How long have you been keeping this from me?"

Thor grabbed his hips, pulling him close as he let out a thoughtful hum. "Well, I started looking in June, but this," he said dipping his head towards the house, "has only been since, like, the end of October."

Loki stared at him, mouth open in shock. "How?"

"There has been _one_ perk to you working so much."

Loki surged forward, hugging Thor tightly and pressing his face in to the side of Thor's neck.

"You want to look inside?"

Loki sniffed as he pulled back, nodding rather than speaking since he was pretty sure his voice would crack. Thor was beaming at him, grabbing his wrist and dragging him across the lawn, the light coating of snow over the brown grass crunching under their feet. Thor pulled a key from his pocket and unlocked the blue door.

"I know it's not much to look at _right now_ ," Thor said as they walked inside, "but all the important things are in good condition."

Loki couldn't stop smiling. The walls and carpets were dirty and some of the fixtures definitely needed updating, but it looked like it was otherwise in working order. The staircase that lead to the second floor sat a few feet before them, a short hallway that led deeper in to the house beside it.

Thor grabbed his hand and led him deeper inside, letting go if it a moment later so Loki could explore while he watched.

The living room lead right in to a dining area, the kitchen separated from the rest of the space by a counter that doubled as a bar. All along the back of the house were tall, narrow windows, allowing them to see out in to the backyard and beyond, a set of double doors in the middle that let out to a deck in need of repair. He walked beside the windows, looking out in to the back yard, where more overgrown shrubs grew around the wooden fence.

He could picture it, looking out and watching Thor do yard work. The two of them lazing around on the couch in the evening. Making breakfast and dinner together without constantly bumping in to one another.

Thor came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Loki's shoulder as he stared out the windows.

"Do you like it? I know it doesn't have dark wood floors, but I've been looking around and doing some pricing and I think we can do it ourselves and if maybe Fandral and Sif could be roped in to helping-"

Loki spun around in his arms, taking a gentle hold of Thor's face and stopping his babbling. "It's perfect, Thor. _You're_ perfect."

Thor smiled, tension bleeding away as he leaned in for a kiss. They pulled back with sighs minutes later.

Thor smiled sharpened in to a smirk. "You wanna see our bedroom?"


	8. Present Day

Sif leaned against the mirrored wall while Thor laid on the bench, huffing as he pushed the bar up in the air over and over. The metal bar bit in to his palms and he gritted his teeth from the burning in his arms and chest. He lost count of how many reps he'd done.

"So. How'd the dinner go?"

Thor let out a heavy sigh as he dropped the bar on to the hooks, sitting up slowly and shaking his arms out. "It went surprisingly well."

"Then why did you just crank out seventeen more reps than you were supposed to?"

Thor shoulders sagged. He wrung his hands and stared down at the concrete floor of the gym. "I don't know."

Sif frowned and a second later his phone began to ring. He scooped it off the floor, where it had been sitting next to his water bottle, and hit answer as soon as he saw it was Sadie calling.

"Hey Bug," he answered cheerily, "everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to ask you something."

Thor smiled. He could hear Riley and Alyssa in the background, singing and laughing, and Loki trying to settle them down. "Shoot."

"Tony's having a big Christmas party next week and papa said we can go if you said we could," she said, her voice coming out in a rush, "can we?"

Thor forced a small smile on to face while stomach twisted. "Of course, Bug, I bet it'll be fun."

"Can you come too?" She asked, sounding even more excited.

"Oh." Thor rubbed his sweaty neck, glancing over to Sif, who had her eyebrows raised at him. "I don't know about that, sweetheart."

"Please, dad? Pleaseplease _please!?_ "

"I'll think about it. How about that?"

"Okay," Sadie sighed, sounding disappointed.

"Call me later, okay? I've gotta go right now."

"Okay."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Thor hung up just after Sadie with a sigh, setting his phone down on the bench beside him. Sif sat down too, looking like she was waiting for him to explain.

"Loki's-" He couldn't say boyfriend. He just couldn't. "Remember that Tony guy I told you about? He's apparently having a Christmas party next week and Sadie wants me to tag along."

"Ah." Sif nodded her head. "Yeah, that's rough."

"I definitely shouldn't go, right?" Thor asked, looking to her.

Sif made a face. "Probably not."

Thor nodded and looked back towards the floor, chewing on his thumbnail.

Thor dropped his hand and looked back to Sif a moment later. "But I mean, I should probably know what kind of person Loki's bringing our daughters around, right?"

Sif gave him a skeptical look.

Thor scrunched his nose and shook his head as he looked away again. "Yeah, I know."

"You should go."

Thor looked back at his friend, eyebrow raised.

"You're gonna kill yourself wondering the whole damn night if you don't," she explained bluntly, "and Sadie wants you there anyways. Just go."

Thor took a deep breath as he looked down at his clasped hands.

"Just _go_ ," she insisted, "and let's finish our damn workout, I'm getting sick of stewing in my own sweat."

 

*        *        *

 

Loki waited outside the building, hands stuffed in to the pockets of his coat. People filed in to the building from the cars and taxis that pulled up to the doorway, obviously dressed up under their heavy coats. He recognized a few faces here and there, managing to smile and nod his head to acknowledge them. His ears perked up as he heard familiar giggling, craning his neck to try and get a better look down the sidewalk.

He spotted Thor first and his mouth went dry. He wore a long, deep red jacket with a high collar and dark slacks, his hair pulled back at the nap of his neck. He herded the girls Loki's way while Loki's belly did flip after flip.

It took him a few embarrassingly long moments for Loki to tear his eyes away from him.

"Don't you all look lovely," he finally managed to spit out, directing his words to their daughters. They did look lovely, the dresses he'd bought for them on the weekend poking out from under their coats and new shoes showing a little evidence of their first run through the elements. "Ready to head inside?"

He was answered by a chorus of yes's. He held his arm out to Sadie and Thor grabbed the other girls hands in each of his own, letting Loki lead them all in to the building. The girls gasped as they set foot in to the lobby, decorated with huge baubles that hung from the high ceiling and tinkling lights draped on practically everything.

"This is impressive," he heard Thor mutter behind him.

"You really work here?" Sadie asked, leaning in close.

"Yep." He guided them through the crowded room to where the elevators sat in the back. They managed to squeeze in to one of the less full cars after a few minutes of waiting in silence. He hit the button to the top floor, skipping over his floor where he usually made an appearance to do a bit of mingling.

The party was already in full swing by the time they made it all the way up. People laughing and drinking as Christmas music played loudly.  
Loki leaned over to Thor as they filed our of the elevator and whispered, "maybe don't let the girls drink anything without checking it first."

Thor gave a little chuckle and nodded his head. His eyes darted around the room, spacious and with floor to ceiling windows that gave a breathtaking view of the city. Riley and Alyssa had gone quiet, though he could feel them tugging on his hands as they looked around and tried to take it all in. His eyes drifted to Loki - who seemed to be searching the faces in the crowd - his hair pushed back a mostly straightened, save for the ends that flipped and curled above his scarf. His eyebrows lifted and he smiled at something, and Thor followed the direction of his gaze to where a short, red-headed woman walked towards them, smiling brightly.

"You came!"

"Like I could just skip out after having you pester me about it all week," Loki scoffed. "Anyway, everyone, this is my friend Natasha. And Natasha, this is-"

Natasha held up her hand to silence him. "No wait, I got this," she said as she clapped her hands together. She pointed to Sadie first. "Sadie." She moved on to Riley when Sadie nodded. "Riley." A nod and a nervous giggle. Natasha grinned victoriously as she pointed to Alyssa, who had gone in to hiding behind one of Thor's legs. "And Alyssa."

"Congrats. You've passed the test," Loki said drily. He loosened himself from Sadie's grip to slip off his coat and scarf.

Natasha's eyes moved to Thor, glancing back to Loki with a raised eyebrow.

Loki cleared his throat, looking away to help Sadie with her coat. 

"Thor, this is Natasha. Natasha, Thor." They gave each other friendly smiles as they shook each others hands.

Natasha's attention turned her attention back to the younger girls as soon as they let go, crouching down and smiling at them. "Your papa has told me so much about you guys, I'm so glad about finally getting to meet you."

Both girls smiled, looking less nervous.

"I like your hair," Alyssa offered quietly.

"I like your hair too."

"Hey," Thor interrupted giving the girls' arms each a little shake, "how about we get these coats off?"

" _Goddamn_ ," Natasha hissed as they walked side-by-side, arms loaded with jackets, towards the corner of the room that had been designated as the coat area. "Now I get why you haven't tried dating yet. There's not much going up from that, is there?"

Loki shot her a look, his lips forming a tight line.

They were silent as they hung up each of the coats on empty hangers. 

Loki frowned a little to himself, something close to dread rolling around in his stomach. "I somehow forgot that I was gonna have to introduce my ex-husband to people tonight."

Natasha made a quiet sound. "That is a thing."

Loki let out a heavy sigh. He glanced back over his shoulder, to where Thor and the girls still stood near the elevator.

"Well, it's just one night. A few hours at the most, actually," Natasha reassured, patting his shoulder. "You made it through pizza night unscathed, you'll make it through tonight."

Loki nodded, took a deep breath, and followed Natasha back to the others.

"What are you guys doing still standing here?" Natasha asked, gesturing out to the room. "There is a whole table of fancy cookies just waiting to be eaten!"

 

*        *        *

 

"I think your friend is going to steal our daughters," Thor said with a chuckle, sipping some bright red punch out of a crystal glass. Loki turned his head in the direction Thor was looking. Natasha was crouched down between Alyssa and Riley, Sadie standing just beside them, talking animatedly and pointing to various places out the window they were in front of.

Loki let out a small snort of laughter. "Don't worry, she's just going to cram them full of sugar and hand them back to us as soon as they get fussy." Loki scrunched his nose as he thought a moment. He added, "she might try and keep Sadie, though."

Thor chuckled again, his smile bright and cheery, his cheeks a little pink from the alcohol. Loki himself was feeling a little warm, wanting to lean forward-

Loki cleared his throat, forced himself to look away from Thor.

He smiled as he saw Pepper approaching him, holding his arm out so they could give each other a half-hug as a greeting.

"Looks like someone has been getting in to the Christmas spirits," she said, pointing towards the cup in Loki's hand.

Loki made a disgusted noise, pushing her back gently. "That was awful. You are awful."

Pepper just laughed, her eyebrows lifting as her gaze fell on to Thor. She looked back to Loki with an expectant look.

"Pepper, this Thor. Thor, Pepper," he said, gesturing his hand back and forth.

Thor and Pepper shook hands, all warm smiles and pleasant hellos.  
Loki took another sip of his drink as quiet settled over the three of them. "Where's Tony been hiding at? He's usually dancing on a table by now."

"Oh god, he's been stuck on the phone all day today." Pepper waved her hand as Loki quirked an eyebrow at her. "Don't even ask. He'll be here eventually. Hopefully."

"Did I hear my name?"

Tony snuck up behind Pepper, looking a little tired and disheveled as he joined them. "How's it going, big guy?" he greeted Thor, holding his hand out.

Thor smiled tightly, giving Tony's hand a couple cursory shakes before letting go.

Tony hissed, wiggling his fingers as he took his hand back. "Solid grip there."

Loki raised an eyebrow at them and Thor was quick to look out at the rest of the party and take another sip of his punch. Pepper looked between the three of them, bewildered.

Tony cleared his throat at the short. "So, did you bring the kids along?" he asked Loki.

Loki looked back where Natasha and the girls had been minutes ago, finding them gone. "They're around here somewhere with Natasha."  
"She's probably teaching them some sweet judo moves."

"They're here!?" Pepper slapped Loki's arm. "Why didn't you say anything? I want to meet them."

"Ms Potts!"

"Oh damn." Pepper turned at the sound of her name being called, smiling and waving to a younger woman in the middle of a throng of people. "I'll talk to you guys on a bit, okay?" she said to the three of them as she turned back around, grabbing Tony's shoulder and giving it a squeeze before walking away.

Thor watched Pepper's back, strawberry-blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders. Looking back to Loki, he leaned in and whispered, "so, who was that, exactly?"

"She's the best damn COO in the world," Tony answered, "and also the luckiest woman in the world, if you ask me."

Thor's eyes went wide, something stronger than the alcohol rushing through him.

Loki didn't seem to notice, taking another sip of his drink and laughing quietly to himself as he said, "I still can't believe someone puts up with that much of you."

 

*        *        *

 

"We got bellyaches over here," Natasha said with a frown, Riley and Alyssa attached to each hand and looking run down.

"Told you," Loki whispered as he and Thor each took one of the girls. Little arms and legs wrapped around them and clung on as the picked them up.

"But I'm keeping this one," she said, pulling Sadie close and wrapping her arms around her shoulders while Sadie snickered

Loki raised an eyebrow and looked to Thor, who just laughed and shook his head.

"Guess that's our cue to leave," Loki sighed, "but we _are_ taking Sadie with us, sorry."

"Dammit," Natasha hissed, reluctantly letting her go. They all said their goodbyes, waving as they headed towards the coats

"How'd you get here?" Loki asked, peeking over Riley's head to look at Thor.

"Drove," Thor answered, his face twisting. "Which was a dumb idea, now that I think of it."

"I'll call us a cab." Loki scooped his phone out of his pocket, making the call as they walked.

Thor helped the girls in to their coats, his fingers fumbling a bit on the zippers. Loki watched as he pulled his own coat on, eyes flicking over the four of them. "You should probably stay at my place tonight."  
Thor looked up in surprise from where he was kneeling in front of Riley.

"It's closer and then we can all pack in to my car tomorrow and get the van from wherever you parked it," Loki explained, "plus the fare would be atrocious."

"Um." Thor blinked. "Okay."

 

*        *        *

 

The next morning Sadie watched her how dad's eyes seemed to keep catching on her papa's, lingering for a few moments before he looked away. They were both smiling, the quiet between all of them easy and only broken by the cartoons playing on the TV. Something must have happened last night.

"You're awful smiley this morning," Loki teased, "did you have fun last night?"

Sadie nodded. "Natasha's really nice."

"She let us have so many cookies," Alyssa chimed in.

"So many," Riley added, slumped over the coffee table as she poked at her scrambled eggs.

 

*        *        *

 

A few hours later, when they were back home, Sadie flopped down on to the couch and dropped her feet on to her dad's lap. "Hey."

"Hey." He clapped a hand over Sadie's pajama covered shin, rubbing her leg as he stared off. His eyes were aimed at the TV, but didn't seem quite focused. A smile was still playing on his face.

This was an opening, she knew it was, and she needed to take it. She should try to be subtle about it...

_Fuck it._

"Do you still love papa?"

Thor's eyes went wide at the question, his heart pounding. He looked to Sadie, his mouth falling open. His first thought was to say "no" - but it was a lie and he knew she'd somehow see right through him if he did. Somehow, the realization that he was still in love with Loki both unsurprising and startling.

He umm'd when he realized he'd said nothing for at least two minutes. Sadie hid a smile behind her hand, watching and waiting for him to say something. He laughed, shaking his head at himself. He rubbed his hands over his face roughly, sighing heavily as he let them drop on to Sadie's legs.

"Is it that obvious?"

Sadie lifted a shoulder.

"It's not going to really change anything, though," he said with a half-hearted smile, "I'm sorry."

Sadie sat up, folding her legs and hugging her arms around her knees. "What if papa loved you back?"

Thor's smile fell. He didn't want to raise her hopes up - or his own. 

" _Sadie-bug_."

" _Dad_ ," she shot back, attempting to imitate his voice.

Thor chuckled, looking away and rubbing his eyes. "I don't know, Sadie. I really don't know."

Sadie waited a beat before asking, "can we have him over for dinner tomorrow night?"

Thor looked back to her, staring for a few moments before he took a deep breath. He let out slowly through his lips. "I'll ask him."


	9. Ten Years Ago - Christmas Eve

Loki stepped out first, shivering as a cold gust of air seemed to zero in on every exposed bit of skin. Thor grabbed his hand and shut the door behind them, taking a moment to make sure it was locked before they made their way to the sidewalk. It had been snowing steadily since yesterday afternoon, leaving everything covered in a thick blanket of snow that couldn't seem to be combated by any amount of shoveling, plowing, or salt.

They walked fast, their entwined hands shoved in to the pocket of Thor's coat. Volstagg and his wife had invited them over for Christmas Eve dinner, since most of their extended family had ended up getting snowed in and the two of them couldn't get to Frigga and Odin's in place(and Frigga would have killed them if they tried).

"You said you wanted a white Christmas, right?" Loki asks, laughing breathlessly. His teeth stung when he smiled at Thor.

"I did," Thor chuckled, "I think this is about seven white Christmases though."

"The pie is going to be frozen by the time we get there," Loki says, tapping his fingers on the bottom of the covered pan.

Volstagg and Hilde's house is only four down from theirs, and they can already seen him and three of their kids all bundled up and playing in the snow in the front yard. Thor was already grinning, pulling his(and Loki's) hands out of his pockets. He looked to Loki, excited as a puppy. Loki rolls his eyes with a fond smile at Thor and his unasked question.

"Come inside before you get frostbite, alright?"

Thor laughed and planted a kiss on the corner of Loki's mouth before dashing off, scooping snow up in his bare hand to chuck it at his big, redheaded friend, to the delighted giggles of his kids. Loki had to run through the war zone to get to the decked out front door, shouting for them to hold their fire and brandishing his cold apple pie.

He sighed heavily as he shut the door behind him. It was just as loud inside, the sounds of a movie playing, pots and pans clanging and the screeching wails of the youngest of Volstagg's kids: Alric. He toed his boots off, trying to be careful to not get his socks wet and failing miserably. Grumbling a little at his wet feet, he made his way farther in to the house, saying a quick hello to little Hildy as she sat in front of the tv, showing signs of having been out in the cold for just a bit too long, before heading to the kitchen.

"Need a hand?" he said as he set the pie down on the already full counter.

Hilde spun around and let out a huge sigh in relief the second she laid eyes on him. "God yes," she said handing Alric off to him. She shook out the arm that he'd been cradled in, pushing back the damp tendrils of bright red hair that had fallen out of her bun before she went back to mashing potatoes.

"Where's Thor?"

"Getting white-washed by your husband, I imagine," he answered, bouncing Alric in his arms.

Hilde let out a snort of laughter and shook her head.

Loki turned his attention to the crying baby in his arms, rocking from side-to-side as he shushed him. Alric quieted down slowly, pouting and whining as he squirmed in Loki's arms.

"He's started teething," Hilde offered.

Loki winced in sympathy. "Poor guy."

"There's a few teething rings in the freezer," she said, jerking her head to the drawing covered fridge, "if you don't mind grabbing one."

Loki strode over, grabbing one of the colorful plastic rings. Leaning against the edge of the counter, he wiggled the chilly ring between drool-y lips and babbled soothing nonsense, Alric's big, watery eyes following the movements of his mouth as he began gumming the plastic.

" _Thank you_ ," Hilde sighed emphatically when the room got as close to quiet as it likely ever got.

The front door opened a second later, the rest of the brood trampling inside.

"I better not find any puddles in the house!" Hilde shouted out, pausing a moment before nodding when she heard the sounds of boots and coats being taken off.

Loki could hear Thor and Volstagg laughing about something as they walked to the kitchen, his husband's cheeks and nose cherry red from the cold. With Alric in his arms he had no chance to fight or run away as Thor came up and nuzzled his face in to the crook of Loki's neck and sneak his icy fingers under Loki's sweater. He yelped and jumped sideways, hugging the baby to his chest with one arm while he tried to swat Thor away with the other.

"You're goddamn freezing!" he screeched. Alric let out a small laugh around the teething ring, instantly catching Thor's attention. Thor contorted his face and made noises, much to Alric's delight, chubby feet kicking out as he gave Thor a gummy-smile. Loki watched with a small one of his own.

"Have you guys ever thought about having any kids of your own?" Volstagg asked, startling them both.

Loki, eyebrows raised and wide-eyed, looked to Thor.

He laughed a little, straightening as he rubbed his chilly hand over the back of his neck, glancing to Loki before his eyes fell to Volstagg. 

"Not... really?"

Volstagg put his hands up as Hilde glanced over her shoulder with one fine eyebrow arched. "Didn't mean to make it awkward. Just curious. You guys seem like you'd be good at it."

"I mean, it's a thought," Thor said a moment, gaze falling back to Loki.

"It _is_ ," Loki agreed slowly. He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to Alric.

Hilde passed a wooden spoon to Volstagg, ordering him to get to work.

 

*        *        *

 

Piled with about a week's worth of leftovers, they went back home a few hours later. Packing the food away in the fridge before running upstairs to strip and watch Die Hard in bed.

"What if we did?" Thor asked halfway in to the movie.

"Did what?" Loki replied, pretending that he didn't know what Thor was talking about.

Thor gave him a look that told him he knew was playing dumb.

Loki sighed heavily, head lolling on Thor's shoulder. "I don't know."

"You've never thought about us having kids?"

Loki pushed himself up on to his elbow. "You have?"

"A little," Thor answered with a shrug his shoulder. "Just over the last couple years."

Loki huffed as he flopped back down, staring at the screen without really watching.

"We don't have to do the whole kid thing right now, of course," Thor said a few minutes later. "Or ever," he added with a bit of reluctance. "But... we've really never talked about it at all."

Loki looked up at Thor, frowning slightly. "You want kids."

Thor shrugged again, smiling softly. "Yeah."

Loki looked up to the ceiling, thinking.

"Do you?"

Loki opened his mouth, only to close it a second later.

He managed to answer with, "I don't think I'd be good at it," a couple minutes later. "Babysitting is one thing, you know? It's a few hours and then we're done."

"I know," Thor replied.

"And how would we even go about having kids, anyway?"

"I always assumed we'd adopt." Loki looked at Thor again, eyebrow raised, and Thor added sheepishly, "whenever I've thought about. Surrogacy seems _way_ too complicated."

Loki let out a small laugh. "You've done research, haven't you?"

Thor made a noise as he ran a hand over his face, failing to restrain his smile. "I wouldn't call it research. I got bored at work and decided to look up some stuff."

Loki scoffed, swatting Thor's chest with the back of his hand.

They went quiet for a short while, the both of them staring off at nothing while the movie played. Thor traced lines up and down the inside of Loki's forearm where it rested on his chest.

"I think you'd be good at it."

Loki's head lolled to look back to Thor. "What makes you think that."

"I just do," Thor said with a shrug.

Loki rolled over, laying halfway on top of Thor, tracing circles over Thor's pec and pursing his lips as he thought.

Thor combed his fingers through Loki's hair, thumb tracing the shell of his ear. "Just because your parents were shitty doesn't mean you'll be."

Loki let out a heavy sigh, dropping his head so it rested next to Thor's, their cheeks pressed together.

"We really don't have to make any decisions about it right _now_ ," Thor said as he rolled over, so they lay face to face. "We can just keep thinking about it."

Loki nodded, smiling a little. He pushed his face forward, pecking the tip of Thor's nose. Thor laughed, hugging Loki's waist and pulling him closer to kiss him on the mouth.

Loki let out another small sigh as they broke apart, running his hand up and down Thor's arm with their foreheads pressed together. "I guess this house _is_ a bit big for just the two of us."


	10. Present Day

Sadie perked up as she heard a car approach, dropping the knife she'd been using to chop up lettuce on the counter to look out one of the front windows. She grinned when she saw the familiar silver car pull in to the driveway.

"Papa's here!"

Thor twisted away from the stove, where Alyssa and Riley were helping him with dinner, just in time to see Loki walking up to the house. While Sadie ran to front door to greet him Thor ripped the red and green ribbon covered scrunchie out of his hair and tossed it aside, the tiny silver bells that hung from the ends of the ribbons jingling.

Alyssa looked over at where it landed on the counter, eyebrows furrowing as she looked back up at him. "You're gonna get hair in the food."

Thor raked his fingers through his hair, heart fluttering at the sound of Loki's voice coming from the front door. "It'll be fine, sweetheart."

"It's the rule, Dad," Riley chimed in, the look in her eyes serious.

Thor sighed, picking up the scrunchie and pulling his hair up. "You're right." He could hear Loki coming closer, his fingers fumbling as he twisted his hair in to a bun.

The skin on the back of Loki's was hot, prickling with nerves. He rubbed it as Sadie dragged him in to the house, showing him some of the art projects he had only seen through the pictures she'd sent him. It was odd being in the house after so long. There was a new rug, different pictures of the girls on the walls and on the bookshelves, but mostly the house looked the same. Everything was in the same place even. It felt like he was stepping back in time, yet somehow he felt like he didn't quite belong in it.

Sadie led him to the kitchen, where he could hear Thor and the other two girls talking and the clinking of utensils and pans. He let out a bark of laughter as he walked in and saw Thor with his hair piled on top of his head, fastened by a scrunchie covered in ribbons and little jingle bells.

"Nice hair."

"Shut up." Thor tried to resist the urge to smile, ducking away before Loki could see the hint of pink to his cheeks, and went to the stove to help Alyssa stir the sauce.

Sadie grabbed Loki's wrist, dragging him over to where she'd left lettuce cut up in big chunks. "You can help me make the salad!"

"What's on the menu anyways?" Loki asked as he looked over the ingredients sprawled out on the counter.

"Spinach and ricotta stuffed shells," Thor replied, "a client got me one of those meal delivery subscriptions as a Christmas gift."

Loki hummed. "Nice."

There was a beeping and Alyssa called out, "the noodles are done!" She reached over the pan that the tomato sauce was simmering in, getting up on her tip-toes on the short stool she stood on, to grab the pot of bubbling water noodles.

Thor snatched the pot handles before she could. "How about I do this part, okay?"

She huffed, arms snapping back to cross over her chest with a frown.

"No pouting," he said, lifting the pot over both girls' heads and bringing it to the sink where the colander sat waiting. He poured the water out slowly, his eyes drifting over to where Loki and Sadie stood, smiling and talking as they put the salad together. He got caught on Loki's hands, deftly cutting a tomato in to long, thin slices, fingertips wet from the tomato juice-

"Ah, _fuck!_ " He dropped the pan in to the sink with a clatter as scalding water splashed on to his belly. A chorus of confused yelling following his outburst.

"Are you okay!?" Loki dropped the knife to the counter, panic making his heart pound. He rushed to Thor as he backed away from the sink and pulled his t-shirt away from his body, steam rolling off the soaked patch of white fabric. He moved without a thought, taking the hem of his t-shit and yanking it up over Thor's head and tossing it aside, revealing the bright red, inflamed skin of his belly.

"Get a rag," he called out over his shoulder, hearing all three sets of feet stampede off in different directions.

He dragged Thor back to the sink by the waistband of his jeans, turning on the cold water and grabbing the sprayer to shoot Thor with it.

"Shit- fuckfuckFUCK -" Thor hissed and panted, every muscle in his body clenching at the pain.

It took another moment for Loki to calm down enough to realize what he was doing - his eyes darting over Thor's exposed chest and then down to where the water was soaking the front of his jeans. He let out an uncomfortable laugh as he shut the water off, sliding the sprayer back in to place. "Sorry."

Thor shook his head, his body still tense. "S'okay."

Loki forced his eyes away from Thor, down to the sink, the pot, colander, and noodles laying in disarray. He chuckled, "you still poor out the water towards _yourself_ -"

"I know, I know" Thor snapped back, "I forgot, okay?"

Loki shook his head with another small laugh. All three girls could be heard running back to the kitchen. Sadie came back first with a stack of pink wash clothes in hand, handing them off to Loki, who instantly soaked one in cool water and pressed it Thor's belly.

Loki cleared his throat when he realized what he was doing _again_ , pulling his hand back from Thor's - very firm, so very solid - abdomen. "You can probably hold that there yourself."

Thor watched him, his gaze making Loki's cheeks flare with heat and forcing him to look away. Conveniently, Riley and Alyssa came racing in a second later.

"I brought a towel!" Riley shouted, thrusting it to Loki.

"I brought the bandaids," Alyssa said more quietly.

"Perfect. Thank you, sweethearts," Loki said, taking both. He set the bandaids off to the side and crouched down to wipe up the puddle of water on the floor. He glanced up at Thor, their gazes meeting for a second before he looked back down again.

There was a _woosh_ and a flare of light that pulled Sadie's attention from her fathers, screaming when she saw flames shooting up from a pan on the stove, her dad's discarded shirt draped across it. " _FIRE!_ "

Loki shot forward, trying to reach around the flames to shut the burners off, while Thor ran to the pantry. Sadie yanked her screaming sisters back by their shirts, dragging them towards the dining table. Thor pulled out a small fire extinguisher, one hand still holding the pink rag to his belly as he marched back. He shouted for Loki move before shooting it at the flames.

Everything went quiet as the flames died out and the cloud from the fire extinguisher spread out over the room. Loki flicked all the knobs off, panting softly as he stepped back and leaned on the edge of the counter.

Thor took a quick survey of the room, extinguisher hanging from his fingers, and nodded slowly at the wreck. "Guess we'll order in."

 

*        *        *

 

"-So, all in all, the ritual _was_ a success. Though I really need to find a less ornery goat next time."

Loki was snapped from his thoughts, blinking at Natasha and sitting back in his chair. " _What?_ "

"You haven't been listening to me for at _least_ the past ten minutes, asshole."

Loki sighed, dropping his fork on to his plate and rubbing his forehead. "God, sorry. I'm just distracted."

She let out a snort of laughter and said, "yeah, like I couldn't figure that out."

They slipped in to silence, taking a few minutes to put deeper dents in to their salads.

Loki sighed again, resting his head in his hand and looking over the table to his friend as he jabbed his fork in to a bunch of dressing covered leaves. "I'm not sure, but I think Thor is seeing someone."

Natasha gave him a look. "What makes you think that?"

Loki fidgeted in his seat, his cheeks going warm as the image of Thor, shirtless, popped in his head. He'd noticed before that Thor's arms and shoulders had gotten bigger, the baggy t-shirts couldn't hide _everything_ , and he'd always been pretty fit when they were together, with a time where he could _maybe_ have been called chubby when they were still teens, but seeing the night before...  He looked _unreal_ and Loki couldn't get it out of his head.

"He's been going to the gym. A lot."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at that. "Yeah?"

Loki squirmed more, scrunching his nose and looking down at his salad. "Never mind."

"You think he's going to the gym because he's seeing someone?"

Loki shrugged a shoulder. "Yeah. It's stupid. Whatever."

"So what if he's seeing someone, anyway?"

Loki felt his shoulders tighten, the tines of his fork scraping the plate with a metallic whine.

Natasha laughed, low and husky. " _Ooh boy_. That's an interesting reaction."

Loki's eyes shot back to her and he forced himself to relax, setting his fork back lightly.

There was beat of silence before Natasha smirked. "So, you remember that guy I went out for drinks with like, a century ago? The guy with the weird thing on his face?"

Loki sat up, forcing himself to focus. "Yeah. Did he start trying to text you again?"

"Even better," she said, pulling her phone from her purse. "He sent me a dick pic- And if you thought the thing on his _face_ was weird..."

 

*        *        *

 

Thor had his hazy focus on the surface of his desk, his mind thoroughly lost in a daydream, when his father walked in to his office.

"Hey, I pay you to work," Odin chuckled, "not sit around making goofy faces at the furniture."

Thor let out a quiet laugh and cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"Yeah you are. Come on, meeting's in five."

Thor nodded and stood, re-tucking his shirt and buckling his belt, wincing as his skin protested. His father gave him a bewildered look.

"I splashed some hot water on myself trying to make dinner last night," Thor explained, grabbing his tablet before walking to the door.

"Have you gotten that checked by a doctor?" Odin asked as they strolled down the hall side-by-side.

"It's not that bad, but I've got an appointment for the end of next week," Thor answered, "it was the closest one I could get."

"You look pretty happy for a guy who nearly scalded off his nether regions," Odin said with a huff of laughter a moment later.

"Oh."

Odin came to a sudden stop, turning to Thor and shoving his free hand in to the pocket of his slacks, looking at Thor expectantly.

Thor looked back at him in confusion. "What?"

"Well, what happened?" Odin asked. "I can't remember the last time I saw you just sitting around, grinning at nothing."

" _Oh_." Thor swallowed, cheeks and neck going warm. "Nothing really, just in a good mood."

Odin laughed softly, shaking his head as he turned and started walking again. "That's obviously not true, but I'm not gonna hassle you about it. I prefer to leave that to your mother."

Thor's face face managed to get even warmer, catching up to his father with a few strides.

"But if this keeps up, I _will_ sic her on you."


	11. Eight Years Ago - Christmas Morning

"It's Christmas!"

Thor and Loki were jolted from sleep, Riley's small hands tugging down the blanket as she hoisted herself up on to their bed. With a huff she hopped on to her feet, bouncing as she chanted, " _Christmas! Christmas! Christmas!_ "

"No jumping on the bed," Thor croaked as he sat up, snatching her and tucking her against his chest.

Riley squirmed in his arms. "But it's Christmas!"

"You don't want to knock yourself out before you get to open your presents, do you?"

Loki rolled on to his back, stretching his limbs with a groan. He peeled his eyes open, smiling as he watched Riley solemnly reply no, then her face scrunching up as Thor planted a loud kiss on her temple.

"Should we get your sisters and open presents now?" Thor asked, scratching his chin.

"Yes!"

"I don't know," Loki said, voice rough from sleep, "maybe we should wait a few hours, maybe even until tonight."

He may as well have said that they shouldn't open the presents at all, with the look on Riley's face. So shocked and horrified by the idea of waiting. Thor looked like he was just barely holding back laughter.

"I'm kidding," Loki said as he rolled up, pinching her little round nose lightly. "As if we _could_ keep you from tearing through those presents."

"That was mean," Riley huffed, bottom lip jutting out in to an adorable pout.

"Oh, but you should've seen your _face_."

Thor chuckled, getting out of bed with Riley squirming in his arms. Loki got up as Thor took the baby gate off the top of the staircase, his deep voice joining Riley's in chanting " _it's Christmas_ " over and over as they made their way down to the living room.

Loki could hear Frigga and Odin's voices as he made his way to Alyssa's room, opening the door slowly to find her already wide awake. She babbled at him, hanging on to the railing of her crib as she bounced on her feet.

"Look whose already up," he said, letting the door swing open and walking over to her. He scooped her in to his arms, bouncing her as he carried her to the changing table and laid her down. "Are you excited about Christmas too?"

She screeched something at him, kicking and wriggling as he tried to unsnap the legs of the red and green striped onesie Frigga had gotten for her. Loki fought her with dramatic sighs before finally managing to free her legs, grabbing a fresh diaper before taking off the dirty one. Thor's footsteps thumped up the stairs, half his body swinging in to the doorway.

"Mom and dad are just barely holding Riley back," he said, "I say we got about three minutes before she manages to pout through their defenses."

Loki laughed and tossed the used diaper in to the bin. "I'll be done in a second."

"I'll go get Sadie."

"Alright."

Thor tapped his hand on the doorjamb as he stepped back, going to the last closed door. On the floor  in front of it was a letter he hadn't noticed before with Sadie's name written all prettily on the back of it. He picked it up, running his thumb over the thick, smooth paper and flipping it to the front to see the fancy wax seal keeping it shut. He raised his eyebrows at Loki as he stepped out of Alyssa's room.

"What's this?" He asked, waving the letter.

Loki shrugged. "No idea. Maybe it's from Santa."

Thor smiled, opening Sadie's door and walking in.

Sadie hadn't been as excited as her sisters about Christmas. She seemed to want to ignore it, actually. He and Loki had asked her why, after trying multiple times to get her to write a list to no sucess and his heart broke when she said that Santa never came to visit her, so there was no point. He'd kept trying get her in to the spirit anyway, making cookies with the three of them and things like that. She had had fun with that at least, and it seemed to work well enough to getting her excited... right up until yesterday.

Sadie was awake, blankets pulled up under her chin and body curled up in a ball.

"Merry Christmas," Thor greeted as he walked over to her bed, Loki leaning against the doorway with Alyssa on his hip. He waved the it in the air again. "Look what I found under your door."

Sadie gave the letter an interested look sitting up as he carefully took a seat on the edge of her bed. "What is it?"

"It looks like a letter," he said, glancing up at Loki and shooting him a quick smirk.

Sadie got on her knees and scooted closer, looping her arms around one of his and resting her chin on his shoulder.

"It's got your name on it," he said, doing his best to sound confused, and flipped it over to look closer at the red seal. Pressed in to the wax seal was a intricate design and a couple letters. "N.P." He looked over to Sadie. "What could that be?"

He could see the gears turning in her head, her eyes glued to the letter.

"Should we open it?"

She looked up at him, glanced over at Loki, and gave a small nod of her head. He held it to her and she shook her head.

"You want me to?"

"Yeah," she said, nodding her head.

"Okay." He slid his finger under the flap, the wax popping away easily. He glanced to Loki as he unfolded it, the two exchanging smiles. "Look at this..."

He felt Sadie leaning against him more heavily, her eyes narrowing to try and take in the the fancy script.

"You want me to read it to you?"

She nodded again.

Thor cleared his throat and began. "Dear Sadie- It has recently been brought to my attention that I've managed to miss your house for not one but multiple Christmases. I want you to know that I would never intentionally skip any nice child's house and after a thorough investigation the elf that was in charge of making my maps was swiftly demoted to cleaning the reindeer stables."

Sadie let out a giggle at that, smiling against Thor's shoulder.

Thor grinned as he continued. "I write this letter to give you my deepest and sincerest apologies. I know that I can never make up for those Christmases that I missed, but I hope in time you'll be able to forgive me and have a merry Christmas this year and in the years to come. Best wishes to you and your new family, Santa."

Thor looked over to Sadie, who looked back to him with wide eyes. 

"Should we go downstairs now?"

Sadie nodded her head vigorously, clinging to Thor's shoulders as he picked her up. The four quickly made their way to the living room, where Riley was still making a valiant effort to get at the presents, only held back by the grip Odin had on the back of her pajama shirt. Sadie let out a gasp when her eyes fell on to the tree and Thor was quick to put her down, he and Loki both chuckling as she flew to the tree.

 

*        *        *

 

"I thought he loved the logo three days ago, why does he want something completely different!?" Loki could feel his blood pressure rising. "I hope he realizes I'm charging him more for this - I put that in the contract-"

Thor cleared his throat and Loki sighed.

"You know what? I'm not dealing with this right now... Tell him whatever you want, I literally could not give a shit." Loki snapped his phone shut, already anticipating the annoyed look Thor was giving him as he looked up from where he sat on the stairs.

"I _know_."

"You promised."

"I _did_ ," Loki breathed. He held his phone out to Thor. "Take it and hide it, it's the only way to keep the stupid clients away from me."

Thor's expression melted in to a smile, grabbing Loki's wrist and pulling him up to his feet. He took Loki's phone out of his hand, slipping it in to the pocket of his pajama pants before closing the space between them. They could hear the girls giggling and playing with their new toys, Odin playing along with them and doing silly while Frigga started on breakfast.

Loki took a deep breath, smiling and leaning forward to plant a kiss on Thor's lips.

"You made her Christmas, you know," Thor whispered.

Loki shrugged a shoulder. "I just had a long lunch the other day-"

Thor interrupted him with a kiss, hugging his arms around Loki's waist and squeezing him tight. "I told you you'd be good at this."

Loki gave him a small smile, taking one of Thor's hands and leading him back to the living room. "Not as good as you."


	12. Present Day

Loki walked in to his apartment with a heavy sigh, the last shreds of what could resemble a good mood seeping out of him as the door clicked shut. He tossed his keys on to the counter and shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the empty line of hooks. He unbuttoned his collar and untucked his shirt as he walked through the living room, making his way upstairs and to his bedroom to undress the rest of the way.

He sank on to the edge of his bed when he was down to his boxers, pulling his socks off and tossing them in to the open hamper. He flopped back on to his bed.

It was always too damn quiet in this place. He always thought he preferred quiet, but boy had he been _wrong_.

He tried to spend as little time as he could here, when he didn't have the girls over.

He should put on a movie or something. Nah.

He sat up and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, calling Natasha in the vague hope that she was free and would like to do something.

“'Sup,” she answered after the second ring.

“You busy?”

“I got a date in, like, an hour,” she answered. Loki let out a silent sigh. “Why?”

“Nothing, just bored.”

“Ah, I see.” There was a brief pause. Loki could tell that she was thinking.

“What?”

“Well,” she drawled, “I think I can swing it and make this date in to a double date, if you're interested?”

Loki's nose scrunched. “No thanks.”

“Really Loki?” she huffed, “it's been two years.”

“Three,” Loki was quick to correct.

“Okay, _three_ years,” she amended, “don't you think it's maybe time to start dating? Hell, maybe just hooking up if your not keen on the whole relationship thing anymore.”

Loki leveled a tight frown at the beige carpeting. “I'm just not ready for it, alright?”

“My god, why not?” she snapped back in exasperation. “Your handsome and got money. And you're not getting younger now, dude.”

Loki let out a long exhale through his nostrils, frustration bubbling and burning in his chest. Frustration at the strange hurt and fear Nat's words brought up, frustration from how he couldn't think of a good response.

“Do you still have feelings for him?” She asked, voice gentle now.

Face hot and frown turning in to a snarl, he barked back, “no.”

“Then let me set you up,” she said.

“No,” he answered weakly, deflated. “I'm... I'm just not interested right now.”

“Fine,” she said in an over dramatic sigh. “Then I have to go and start getting ready for my lonely, single-pair, date. You want me to call after?”

Loki perched his elbow on his thigh, forehead resting his hand. “Sure. Do something weird so you'll have a good story to tell me, okay?”

“Do I ever let you down?” she said, “and maybe think about tagging along some time. It can't be healthy to still be _so_ fixated on your ex-husband.”

Loki growled. “I'm _not_ -”

_Call ended_. Damn her.

Loki flopped back and stared at the ceiling. And since Natasha planted the seed in his goddamn head, thinking about Thor. He's probably started on dinner by now, or maybe he's still helping the girls with their homework. Did he still sing and dance along to music when he cooked? He tried thinking back to the whole fiasco the other night, trying to remember if he heard music in the background... He couldn't remember hearing anything. It used to annoy him sometimes, when he was trying to work on something at the dining table and Thor wouldn't stop bugging him until he'd gotten up and joined him(and, later on, one or all of their daughters) for a song. He usually ended up joining in until dinner was done.

Loki smiled at the memories, frowning just a moment later. _When did he stop trying to get Loki to dance with him?_

_Probably when you started making it a point to work upstairs, asshole_.

Loki cringed. His throat and eyes stung, lungs shaking as he inhaled deeply. He'd wanted the peace and quiet, right? Well, he got it in droves now.

“God,” he huffed, voice strained. “Shit.”

He laid there, trying to not go in to a fit of lonely, sad-shitsack sobbing, until his phone rang. He tried to collect himself, taking a couple deep breaths as he sat up, and picked up the phone.

“Speak of the devil,” he whispered to himself, to hear if his voice sounded funny, and answered.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Thor said back, tone hard to parse. “So, uh, Sadie skipped school today.”

Loki blinked, utterly confused at Thor's words. “ _What?_ ”

 

_** Earlier that Day **_

 

Sadie did her best to ignore all the confused looks she was getting. Face forward, she moved through the bustling lobby and to the elevators with a sweaty deathgrip on the strap of her backpack. It took a minute for one of the sets of doors to slide open, a whole crowd of people shuffling out as more people wedged themselves inside. Sadie squeezed in to the front just before the doors started to close, pressing the button to the floor Tony told her to go to.

The ride up was long and more nerve-wracking than she could have anticipated. She held her breath each time the elevator made a stop, expecting _this_ to be the time her papa be waiting at the other side. She heaved a sigh of relief when she made it to the right floor, stepping out in to the uncomfortably quiet lobby.

Each careful step was nearly silent on the shiny, hardwood floor, her eyes darting around the room. It was like a hallway, long and wide, leading up to an desk sitting before a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows. Several doors sat spaced far apart on the cream colored walls, one of them being the door to Tony's office. Which one that was, Sadie didn't know. And since no one was sitting at the desk she couldn't ask.

She jumped as the door directly to the left of the desk opened and Pepper came strutting out, eyes down at the tablet in her hand. "Darcy, can I get you to print a few extra copies of-" She halted as she looked up and saw Sadie. "You're not Darcy."

Sadie shook her head a little.

Pepper blinked. "Your papa's office is on the tenth floor, sweetheart- Wait," She stopped herself, holding up a hand. "Isn't he supposed to be in meetings all day today?"

Sadie shrugged her shoulder, giving the redhead a smile. "Maybe?"

Pepper's eyes narrowed, head whipping to the door across from the one she'd come out of. Sadie followed as she marched to it and barged in, startling Tony enough that he dropped his phone where he sat at his desk.

"What the hell are you up to?"

"What!?" Tony dived down, scooping up his phone. "-Oh, hey Sadie, come on in."

Sadie gave a little wave, following Pepper in to the office. "You're meddling. We had a talk about this."

"I'm _helping_ ," Tony countered, gesturing to one of the chairs in front of his gigantic desk. "Or trying to at least."

Pepper crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow at him while Sadie stepped around her and sat down, setting her bag between her feet.

"She's supposed to be at school right now." Pepper looked over to her again, "aren't you?"

Sadie shrugged.

She looked back to Tony. "I'm pretty sure this is illegal."

"I think that's only if I try to keep her," Tony said,"I plan of having her back at school before it's over." Tony looked over at her and asked, "they let you guys out around four, right?"

"Three-fifteen."

Tony stilled, blinking at her before glancing at his watch. "Well, shit."

"Tony," Pepper scolded.

The elevator pinged, the unmistakable click of high heels following.

"You saw them at the party-"

"I did," Pepper hissed, "but that doesn't mean you have go sticking your nose in to their business-"

Sadie looked over her shoulder, smiling and waving as Natasha walked in. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise at the sight of her, pausing mid-step as her eyes darted around at everyone else in the room, walking up and taking the other chair as Tony continued to bicker.

Pepper let out an angered huff, cutting off Tony mid-retort. "You know what, we'll finish talking about this - _again_ \- later. I have to go call your lawyer."

"Love you too, hon."

Pepper growled, turning on a heel. She gave Sadie and Natasha a quick smile before she stomped out, shutting the door with just a bit more force than necessary.

"I hope you're getting her a really good Christmas present," Natasha drolled.

"I'm thinking of tacking on a few more nights to our next vacation." Tony cleared his throat, sitting up in his seat as he adjusted his clothes. "Anyway- I suspect you both have an idea why I called you two here."

Sadie grinned. “You want to help me get my dads back together.”

"So..." Tony sighed. "What should we do?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You called _us_ here."

"I didn't plan much past this point, to be perfectly honest."

 

*         *         *

 

“Hang on, let me put you on speaker phone.”

A few taps on the screen later, Thor was setting the phone down on the dining table between him and Sadie. It felt a bit silly, having family conversation like this, but he wasn't sure what else to do. Sadie gnawed on her lip, head turned down and eyes darting from Thor's phone to Thor.

“Riley and Alyssa aren't eavesdropping, right?” Loki asked, clear and a bit loudly.

Thor had told them to go upstairs and play, but it couldn't hurt to check. He stood up from his chair, taking a few steps in to the living room to look at the staircase and catching them as they went running back up the stairs.

“You guys stay up there,” he called out in warning. He heard to very quiet 'yes dad's and the click of one of their doors shutting.

Satisfied, he went and sat back down, disappointment and worry filling him as he looked back at Sadie with a frown. They were all quiet for a few minutes. He had no fucking idea where to begin with this.

He looked at his phone, hoping that Loki might sense his helplessness through it.

“Okay, first of all, what the hell,” Loki started, which was pretty much what Thor thought when he got the call from school.

“I'm sorry,” Sadie was quick to say. Again. For, like, the fiftieth time since she was caught.

“Where were you,” Thor asked, voice coming out a little harsher than he intended. He forced himself to take a breath.

“I was just around,” Sadie stammered out, wrapping her arms around herself.

_That's a lie_.

“That's a lie,” Loki said, reading Thor's mind through the phone, apparently. “And a half-assed one, at that.”

Sadie scrunched her nose.

“Where were you?” Thor repeated firmly.

“Were you with Kasey?” Loki asked after Sadie didn't answer again.

“No,” she answered. Quick and firm. True, probably.

“Were you meeting someone from the internet?” Thor asked next, trying to keep the fear at the thought of her meeting some stranger all alone out of his voice .

“No,” she answered without hesitation. “I just didn't want to be at school.”

“Did something happen with Hope?” Loki asked. “Has she been giving you trouble?”

“No.”

Thor could tear his hair out from frustration right about now. He huffed, throwing his hands up. “Then why did you do this? You knew you'd get in trouble, so there had to be a reason.”

Sadie shrugged, not looking particularly guilty.

Thor let out an exasperated sigh, picking his phone back up as he got up from his chair. “Go up to your room. I'll be up there to talk in a few minutes.”

Sadie scurried out of the room. Thor listened to her steps thumping up the stairs, her bedroom door shutting softly.

Thor sighed again as he leaned against the counter, the beginnings of a headache pulsing just behind his forehead. “She's hiding something.”

“Yup.”

“What do we do.” Thor hoped Loki would be kind enough ignore how pitiful and whiny he sounded.

He did, thankfully. “For the blatant lying or the actual truancy?”

“Both?”

“Well, she's grounded, obviously- and what about no phone or computer time unless it's for schoolwork?”

Thor thought it over briefly before agreeing. “Yeah that sounds good. I don't think that'll get her to tell us what she was doing skipping school, though.”

“No,” Loki sighed, “it probably won't.” He sounded as tired and distressed as Thor was.

Thor sagged forward, resting his elbow on the counter top and perching his head in his free hand. “Is this scaring you? 'Cause, honestly, I'm terrified.”

Loki let out a huff of laughter. “A bit, yeah.”

The words spilled out of him before he could think to keep them back. “I get so nervous trying to talk to her now. I always feel like I'm going to fuck up and say the wrong thing and she'll never talk to me again.”

“Oh come on honey,” Loki said with another laugh. “You've put your foot in your mouth a few times but _that_ is never going to happen.”

Thor smiled despite the pang in his chest. He felt the urge to tell Loki he missed him, wished that he was actually here so he could look at his face. He blinked fast as his vision blurred, straightening up and covering his sniff with a cough. “I should go give Sadie her sentence, I guess.”

“Yeah,” Loki said, voice soft and quiet.

“Um, well, talk to you soon?”

“Yeah,” Loki repeated, a forced brightness to his voice.

“Okay,” Thor breathed, “bye.”

“Bye.”

Thor stared at his phone after hanging up, forcing himself to set it down and go upstairs.

 

*        *         *

 

_It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it. It'll be worth it..._

“...And unless you need to use it for homework, no computer. Not until winter break.”

Sadie whined, she couldn't help it. “ _Dad-_ ”

“No,” Thor said, bringing out his deep, commanding voice for the occasion. “We're not arguing about this.”

Sadie flopped back on her bed with another petulant whine. _This better be worth it_.

Her dad sighed, the floor creaking softly as he sat down beside her on the bed. “Actions have consequences, you know that.”

“Yeah.”

Her dad's hand came to rest on her knee and she slowly dragged herself up, unable to stop herself from pouting.

“Will you tell me why you skipped school? Or where you were?”

Sadie shrugged, trying to look and sound casual. “I just didn't want to be there today. Didn't you ever skip school?” Deflect, deflect, deflect!

Thor opened his mouth, stammering, “maybe once or twice.”

A grin slowly spread across Sadie's face at the confession.

“But I was _older_ ,” Thor tried to amend, “and that doesn't mean it's okay that you did it.”

“But you _did_ do it too.”

“And I regret it deeply,” Thor huffed back, looking flustered.

“That doesn't change your punishment, you know,” Thor added when Sadie wouldn't stop smiling. “It's not like grandma and grandpa let me get away with it when they found out.”

Sadie hugged herself around the waist, shoulders sagging and smile falling. “I don't get my phone at all?”

“Nope.”

It'll be worth it, she reminded herself again.

Thor reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in to a tight hug and kissing her head “You know it scared me, right?” he said, “thinking I knew where you were all day and finding out I didn't.”

Sadie's frown deepened, guilt begin to eat at her with the genuine upset in her dad's voice. Maybe she should tell him? _No_ \- that might mess it all up.

“What if something happened to you, Bug?” Thor said with a wet sniff, squeezing her tighter and nuzzling her hair. “I wouldn't even have known where to begin looking for you.”

Oh the guilt.

He pulled back, his eyes a little watery, and ran his hand through her hair. “Please don't do that again,” he pleaded, voice tight.

Oh the _guilt_.

“I won't,” she replied in a tiny voice, leaning over to hug him, letting out a grunt when he squeezed her again.

He gave her another kiss on her head before letting her go, sighing deeply. He gave her a tight smile, holding his hands out. “Time to hand 'em over.”

Sadie groaned.

 

*         *        *

 

Thor moved his hands to a different spot on the steering wheel, his palms sweating as he made his slow way to Alyssa and Riley's school.

He left work fifteen minutes early, knowing that the snow was supposed to be starting up around the time they were let out. It was already bad, though. The few inches already coating the ground making some of the un-plowed and unsalted roads slick and treacherous to maneuver. More poured down from the grayed out sky, making it hard to see much past the car in front of him.

His heart was lodged in his throat. _God_ , he hated driving in shitty weather.

He came to a (slow, careful – _so_ fucking careful) stop at a intersection. He could barely see the stop sign from where he was, behind two other cars. Goddammit, how the hell was he supposed to get them all home like this?

Okay, _breathe_. Getting all worked up wouldn't help his driving any.

He nodded along to the song on the radio, forcing his grip on the steering wheel to loosen as he hit gas again.

“You're just going to pick the girls up from school and bring them home, just like you do everyday,” Thor told himself, stop sign glinting as he crawled past it. “Everything is going to be just fine.”

He went stiff as he heard the unmistakable sequel of tires. The world seemed to go in to slow motion at the sound. He turned his head to the passenger side of his car, a pair of blazing white headlights blinding him. He felt frozen with shock, mouth agape as his heart stuttered.

The blare of car horn set the world back in motion, his foot stomping down on the gas pedal.

Everything went all sticky and slow again as he felt the other car slam in to him, seat belt tightening around him as his body got jerked around in his seat. He felt his head smack against something hard, a hot, fizzling feeling spreading over his scalp. He gripped the wheel hard, trying to correct the wide arc he felt himself going in, the screeching whine of metal dull in his ears. Another slam jerked his body around some more, the airbags popping out.

Everything was happening so fast and yet so slow. It was all a blur of snow and lights. He couldn't think past the terror clutching his heart now. He just didn't want to die, he had to pik up his daughters from school... they were going to be waiting for him...

His head throbbed. _Everything_ throbbed.

With a final lurch, his SUV went still. He groped blindly for his phone. He needed to call someone... They were going to be waiting for him...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of it less of "cliffhanger" and more of a "author giving herself incentive to write this faster before someone tracks her ass down."
> 
> (And sorry for the long wait, btw.)


	13. Present Day

Loki's stomach rolled. His hands trembled where they gripped the steering wheel, maneuvering through the busy, slick roads and heavy snowfall with his heart lodged firmly in his throat. The girls sat in silence, the nervous tension making the hot, dry air pumping from the vents heavier.

He drove straight for the house, since it was closer than his apartment and it was still a school night. He was gonna do his best to keep everything going as normal as possible. But he couldn't stop thinking about how this wasn't like Thor. He'd never leave their daughters waiting for him, with no way to get in touch. Not in a million years. Loki took a deep breath, swallowing hard around the lump forming in his throat. He needed to stay calm.

 

“How about we put on a movie?” Loki suggested as soon as they walked through the front door, the overwhelming silence filled by the thunks and rustling of coats and boots. He hoped they didn't notice the thickness to his voice, or how forced his cheeriness sounded.

Alyssa looked up at him from the floor while she struggled to pull off her snow boots. “How come dad didn't pick us up from school?”

Loki's smile fell, spine tensing with unease as he tried to think of a good excuse. He knelt down, helping her unfasten the straps to stall. “I'm sure it's some silly reason, sweetheart.”

He felt all their eyes on him, their desperation for reassurance.

“Maybe he got snowed in to a gas station! That happens a lot more than you realize,” he offered brightly. He tugged Alyssa's feet free from her boots, setting them aside. He stood and turned away as he slipped off his own coat and soggy dress shoes, finding the girls all watching him when he turned back around

“Whatever it is, I'm sure we'll hear from him soon,” he said, “it'll be fine, I promise.”

Riley and Alyssa nodded, not looking entirely convinced, but at least willing to believe him.

“How about you guys pick a movie for us to watch?”

They nodded again, walking to the living room. Loki turned his attention to Sadie, still all bundled up with her arms folded tightly to her chest, eyes filled with tears.

“Where is he?” she asked, her voice hardly even loud enough to be called a whisper.

Loki bit his lip as he glanced towards the living room, where Riley and Alyssa were crouched in front of the TV and talking to each other. He took a deep breath and looked back to Sadie. “I don't know right now,” he said, keeping his voice as low as possible.

Sadie let out a little hiccup, a couple heavy tears spilling down her cheeks. Loki's heart broke at the sight and he hugged her to his chest, rubbing a hand up and down her back. “It's going to be okay, Bug,” he whispered in to her hair, squeezing her tighter. “I promise, okay? I'm sure we're gonna hear from him soon.”

Sadie sobbed quietly in to his chest, the soft broken sound making Loki's eyes water and throat clench. He sniffed, giving his daughter another squeeze before gently pushing back by the shoulders and helping her out of her coat. Sadie let him help her out of her boots too, breath hitching every so often and shoulders sagged miserably. He cupped her face in his hands after he stood back up, wishing silently that he could take away all her fear and worry. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, hoping it would at least comfort her.

“Lets go watch that movie.”

Sadie nodded her head, wiping her wet cheeks with her sleeve.

 

His eyes were focused on the TV, but his mind was in another realm. The girls seemed a bit dazed, too. Riley and Alyssa were too subdued, hardly a peep from either one since the movie began. Sadie was watching Loki's phone on the coffee table, gaze hazy and unfocused.

His heart leapt in to his throat as the darkened screen suddenly flashed to life, the buzz of it against the dark wood jarring. He hoisted Alyssa out of his lap and set her in his spot between her older sisters.

“Is it dad?” Sadie asked with a hopeful look as he scooped it off the coffee table.

“Grandma,” Loki answered. Sadie deflated.

Loki answered the call as soon as he was in the kitchen and out of earshot of the girls. “Did you find him?”

“He's in the hospital-”

Loki gripped on to the nearest bit of counter top, suddenly lightheaded and weak-kneed.

“-But I just talked to him and he's okay.”

Loki lowered himself to the floor, skin flashing back and forth from hot to cold. “What happened?” he croaked, raking his hair off his face with a shaky hand.

“He got in to a car crash, and he's got a concussion and he's pretty banged up but that's it, thankfully,” she explained, exhaustion coming through her voice. Loki rubbed his eyes with his free hand, letting out a quiet sob of relief.

“Can I talk to him?” he asked, voice wobbling.

“I'm gonna send you the number, but he's really out of it,” she said.

Loki nodded. He could hardly hold the phone up to his ear, his arm felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

“I'll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay sweetheart, call me if you need anything,” she replied.

Loki nodded again. He took a minute to try and gather his barrings, breathing in and out slowly. He dialed the number Frigga sent a few moments after their call, feeling like time suspended as he waited for Thor to pick up.

“Hello?”

Loki's body sagged, letting out a heavy, relieved sigh. “God is it good to hear your voice.”

“Loki,” Thor breathed.

Loki's heart clenched, the corners of his mouth twitching up.

“How are the girls doing? Did you tell them what happened?”

“Haven't had a chance.” His voice caught on a weepy hiccup. “And they've been worried, and really, really quiet.”

Thor made a sound. “Are you with them? I want to tell them I'm okay.”

“One second,” he said as he stood from the floor. He walked back to the living room, three heads whipping his way.

“I'm gonna put you on speaker,” he said, tapping the screen and setting the phone down on the coffee table.

“Hey guys.”

The girls' eyes all lit up, voices clattering together in a chorus of “dad!”

“I'm sorry about not picking you guys up from school, I got in to a little car accident.”

Sadie's eyes darted up to Loki, wide with fear, before falling back to his phone. “Are you okay?”

“I'm okay,” Thor was quick to assure. “But I do have to stay at the hospital tonight, just to make sure.”

“Why can't you come home tonight?” Alyssa asked quietly.

“I got a concussion, so they just want to be able watch me _just_ in case it's worse than it looks,” Thor replied, “but the doctor said it really doesn't look bad, and I should be able to come home tomorrow.”

The sheer relief in the room was palpable, even if it was a bit dimmed by the fact that Thor wasn't coming home tonight.

“I've got one of the nurses glaring at me for not resting, so I'm gonna have to go now, you guys be good for papa, okay?”

A little chorus of we will's followed.

“Okay,” Thor said, and Loki could hear the smile in his voice, “I love you guys, I can't wait to see you tomorrow.”

The girls' goodbyes where scattered and subdued, all of them sinking back in to the couch while Loki picked his phone back up and went back to the kitchen.

“How are you really feeling?”

“Tired,” Thor said, sounding it without their daughter's there to hear. “Sore, even with whatever stuff they have pumping in to me.”

“Are you really going to be able to come home tomorrow?”

“As long as nothing weird happens overnight, yeah, the doctor said everything looks good.”

“Good,” Loki let out with a heavy sigh.

“I'm still forbidden from doing- basically _everything_ for at least the next week,” Thor said in a petulant huff. “Especially anything that involves the tiniest bit of thinking.”

Loki couldn't help but smile at that. “That should be easy for you, honey, you hardly ever think.”

The sound of Thor's laughter like a balm to the still raw wound in Loki's chest.

“Shut the fuck up,” Thor said with a chuckle. There was lull as Thor's laughter drifted off, the heavy sigh that drifted in to Loki's ear making him frown.

“What's wrong?”

“It's-” Thor huffed again. “I just feel... weird, I don't know, I can't think straight.”

“Well of course, it sounds like you hit your head pretty hard,” Loki countered lightly, “and I know how hard your skull is.”

Thor laughed a little again, but it tapered off quickly. “My car's totaled... not that it matters much, I probably won't be okay to drive for a while.”

“Don't worry about any of that, I'll deal with it.”

There was a sniffle on the other end. A tiny, weak sob... Oh god he was crying...

“Sorry,” Thor started, voice thick and watery, “I guess this is all just hitting me now.”

Loki felt himself getting choked up, a hard lump settling in his throat. “It's okay,” he said, his weak, cracking voice probably failing miserably at being reassuring.

“I just wish I was home right now.” Thor's voice trembled over the words. Loki was losing it fast. He couldn't speak, knowing that the second he opened his mouth the floodgates would open and there'd be no shutting them.

“Papa?”

Loki startled at Alyssa's small voice, quickly trying to gather his composure. “Yes, sweetie?”

“I'm hungry,” she said, taking in his watery eyes.

Loki checked the time. “Oh god, you must be starving,” he said, instantly rifling through the cabinets with his free hand. “I'll figure out something real quick, alright?”

“Okay,” she said, leaving quietly.

“I don't remember what I was planning on making tonight,” Thor added softly.

“I'll throw something together.”

“My head hurts,” Thor whined.

Loki stopped with a can of soup in his hand. “Please call a nurse to check on you.”

“She'll tell me to get off the phone.”

“You probably need to,” Loki sighed.

“I don't want to,” Thor said, sounding petulant again.

Loki smiled. “You are the worst sick person. Such a whiner.”

“Shut up, you're just as bad.”

“Not even close.”

Thor laughed again, halfhearted and short. “I hate hospitals.”

“You'll be home tomorrow,” Loki said, “which will come sooner if you rest.”

“You're right, I just- I hate it here.”

“I know.” Loki sighed again. “I have to make something for dinner before they turn on me.”

A chuckle. “Okay fine, I'll let you go.”

Loki shook his head with a small smile. “You big baby.”

“Shut up,” Thor whined. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” he said, “I guess this is goodnight then?”

“I guess it is,” Loki replied, feeling closer to relaxed. _Thor was okay_. “Goodnight.”

“'Night,” Thor replied.

Loki hung up reluctantly, setting his phone on the counter to finish rifling through the kitchen, setting his sights on something quick.

 

* * *

 

Loki started lunch with one eye on his phone. Last night had been really, really long. Nightmares were had. There had been a lot crying. There hadn't been a whole lot of sleeping done. (At some point an uneasiness had settled over Loki. And curiosity. He'd gone and looked at the master bedroom and found that everything had been changed – the walls, the bedding, every little detail – so it looked like a different room. It was the only place in the whole house that had been scrubbed clean of him.)

Frigga said she was heading out to pick Thor up from the hospital over an hour ago. He was so sick of waiting, so sick of the stomach churning worry he'd been feeling since the grade school had called him yesterday afternoon.

He just- He just wanted to see Thor's face. See him in the flesh. Whole and alive.

His phone chimed, his eyes instantly going to the screen. Tony- _Shit_ , he completely forgot about fucking work-

“I hope you have a fun reason for not showing up,” Tony said before Loki could even open his mouth, “and I seriously mean that, I hope it's super fun.”

“Sorry,” Loki said, stirring tomato soup with one hand. “Thor got in a wreck yesterday and everything's been a bit tumultuous.”

“Shit, is he okay?”

“He got a concussion and bruised ribs, but that's the worst of it,” Loki answered, “he's supposed to be coming home anytime now.”

Tony waited a beat. “Are _you_ okay?”

Loki laughed weakly. “It was a _long_ night.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

“Make my brain work?” Loki said with another small laugh.

“I'm serious, if you guys need help with something, just ask.”

Loki sighed, smiling softly. “Thanks, and sorry about not calling in-”

“Don't sweat it, I know you well enough to know you don't just skip out of work,” Tony said, “I'm glad everything is alright.”

“Thanks.”

“I gotta let you go, got a meeting,” Tony said, “and I'm serious, call me if you need something, okay?”

“I will, bye.”

“Bye.”

Phone down, back to stirring. It felt like no more than a minute passed before he heard the soft rumble of a car making it's way slowly up the street, and when he went to the window to see his heart leapt at the sight of Frigga's car pulling up along the house.

“He's here!” Loki called out. The trampling of feet from all corners of the house followed almost immediately.

Hist heart did another leap at the sight of Thor climbing out of the small car, blinking his eyes against the harsh light from the sunlight reflecting off the snow. He looked pretty battered, a few stitched up cuts on his forehead, bruised and scraped just about everywhere Loki could see. He damn near ran out of the kitchen to the front door, which had already been thrown open as the girls had gone running out to meet Thor, coat-less and bootless. Loki watched from the doorway as Thor knelt in the thick snow, swallowing up all three of their daughters in his arms, staying there until Frigga finally told them to get inside.

Loki backed up, staying a few feet back as everyone trudged inside. Thor visibly winced as he took off his boots, his every movement slow and stilted. Loki couldn't do anymore but watch, his mind frozen at the sight of Thor.

“Girls, why don't you go get some dry clothes on, and something comfortable for your dad to change in to,” said Frigga, ever able to think clearly when Loki couldn't, directing the last part to Sadie.

“Are you making something?” she asked Loki with a sniff.

“ _Oh shit_.” Loki turned and ran back in to the kitchen, taking the pot of soup off the burner and shutting off the stove. He took a few deep breaths, ran a hand through his (greasy, tangled) hair, smoothed down the front of his crumpled shirt. He walked back out to find Frigga helping Thor up the stairs.

“Here, let me,” Loki said as he jogged over to them.

“I can still do things on my own, you know,” Thor snapped out, grimacing instantly and shaking his head. “Sorry, I'm tired.”

“It's fine, sweetheart,” Frigga soothed, rubbing his arm. “Lets just get you comfortable.”

It took a little while to make up to the top of the steps, and Thor had to lean against the wall when they made it, an arm wrapped around his middle as he caught his breath. Loki caught himself staring, feeling frozen a few steps away. Sadie came out of the master bedroom, a neatly folded t-shirt and pair of pajama pants in her hands, snapping his attention to her.

Thor's face softened in to a smile, wrapping her up in another hug as she came up to him. Her shoulders jerked as she let out a tiny sob against his chest.

“I love you so much,” he mumbled in to her hair.

She managed to squeak out an “I love you too,” sniffling and leaning in to him.

“What were you making?” Loki jerked out of his weird semi-trance at the sound of Frigga's voice.

“Oh, um, just some soup and grilled cheese.”

Frigga nodded, patting him on the shoulder. “I'll go do that, I think you're more needed up here.”

She left before Loki could even think of... _some_ way to respond, his mouth hanging open and useless.

“I need to go change,” Thor said to Sadie, “why don't you go help grandma?”

“Okay,” she replied, voice small. He planted another kiss on her head before letting her go. Loki grabbed her hand, giving it a quick squeeze as she passed. It left Thor and Loki alone in the hallway, Alyssa and Riley distracted by something in one of their bedrooms.

“How are you feeling?” Loki asked, he washing over his face as he realized how stupid that question was. “Never mind, dumb question.”

Thor chuckled, which made him wince and grab his side again.

“You should sit down,” Loki said, stepping forward and taking Thor's arm in his hand. Thor let Loki guide him in to the bedroom, all the way to the bed, all while Loki tried to look nonchalant.

“Do you need anything else?” Loki asked, and despite the way he stammered out the words he sounded strangely like a bellhop.

It made Thor laugh, a miserable, humorless (not to mention painful) laugh. “I- I could really use a hug right now.”

Loki flinched at the request, jaw going slack and blinking. Then, he nodded. Thor stood, moving forward, closing the space between them. He finally took notice of how disheveled Loki was, and exhausted. He resisted the urge to reach out and touch his face, to cup his cheek in his hand and run his thumb along the edge of the dark bags under his bright green eyes. His heart ached with a sharp stab of want, wishing he could say so many things. He bit his lip, trying to blink away the burning in his eyes as he wrapped his arms around Loki. He squeezed as tight as he could, ignoring the pain it brought, and let out a small sob of relief when he felt Loki's arms around him. His fingertips dug in to Thor's back, his face pressed in to the crook of Thor's neck, he could feel Loki's heartbeat, his warmth.

The rush of emotion that followed made Thor weep. All the feelings from the night before rushed back, all the _what if_ 's that had been forcefully playing themselves out in his head since he came to, how much he missed Loki. He clung on desperately, bawling in to his hair. He wanted to say _I miss you so much, please don't let me go_ , but the all that came out was jumbled nonsense.

“Um, hey-”

They both startled, pulling away from each other to look to the doorway where Sadie stood.

“Lunch is almost ready,” she finished meekly, looking back and forth between the two of them.

“I'll let you get changed,” Loki croaked, not looking at Thor as he nearly ran out of the room.

Thor sagged down on to the edge of the bed, cringing as he exhaled.

“Do you need help?” Sadie asked, staying in the doorway. “I can bring your food up here...”

“I'm good sweetheart,” he replied with a (slightly forced) smile. “Just need to change and I'll be right down.”

Sadie nodded, shutting the door as she left.

Thor sat there, staring at the wall for a while. Then he put his head in his hands and cried.

 

* * *

 

Silverware clinked in Loki's hands, soap making them slip. The whole house was quiet and calm. Thor was resting on the couch, an arm slung over his eyes last time Loki stole a glance at him. Scrub one fork, drop it in to the other sink to be rinsed, grab another. His hands were red and hurting from the hot water, but the whole ritual was soothing and mindless, letting his eyes wander without really looking at anything. Cleaning was always a bit of stress reliever for him, and maybe one of these times he could finally scrub his freaking problems away.

He flinched when Frigga reached up and tucked Loki's hair behind his ear, he hadn't even seen her walk up. “You look like a mess.”

“You know you're the only person who can get away with saying that,” Loki said, voice rough and thick, “because I think you're the only person who can say a blatant insult with genuine concern.”

She smiled softly, which wasn't really the laugh he was looking for, but whatever. “I mean it though, you look exhausted.”

Loki shrugged.

“Go home, take a long shower, put on some fresh clothes,” Frigga said, “take a nap, maybe, I have everything under control here.”

What if he didn't _want_ to.

Loki sighed, “you're probably right.”

“I'm always right,” Frigga said with a playful pat of his cheek. “I'll call you if anything comes up.”

Loki let out another sigh. “Okay, I'll just finish-”

“I can finish these,” Frigga interrupted, “please, go and take care of yourself for a while.”

A third sigh and then he rinsed the suds off his hands. He went to the kitchen table where the girls all sat, eating and meticulously planning out a card to make for Thor. It brought a smile to Loki's face, and he kissed each of their heads as he told them he was going home. Sadie gave him an almost panicked look, grabbing his wrist.

“You're coming back tonight, right?”

“Oh, um-” He glanced back at Frigga, then over at Thor, who was still laid out on the couch. “We'll play that by ear, okay? I have some errands to run and stuff like that, so we'll have to see.”

Sadie visibly deflated, slumping as she went back to card planning. Loki kissed her head again, trying to ignore the guilt making his stomach sink as he walked away. His steps paused halfway through the living room, eyes falling back on Thor on the couch. He walked over, crouching down beside him before thinking otherwise.

“Hey.”

Thor lifted his arm away from his face, blinking in confusion at Loki before smiling softly.

“I'm gonna head out now-”

His smile fell.

“But, you know, call me if you need to.” Loki shook his head. “Actually, just call me later? Just to check in.”

“Yeah, of course,” Thor said, smile returning weakly.

“I'll just be at home,” Loki continued, “catching up on whatever work I missed or something, so don't be shy.”

Thor nodded, a frown pinching his brow. “Be careful driving okay?”

Loki smiled back at him. “I will be.”

“Text me when you get to your apartment, please?”

“Sure.”

Loki sat there for a moment, waiting. What for? He didn't know. Thor just watched him.

Loki moved forward, bending at an awkward angle and hugging his arms around Thor's shoulders, burying his face in the pillows stacked under Thor's head. Thor's arms settled around his waist a second later, heavy and warm and _real_. He could feel tears prickling his eyes as he caught a whiff of the weird medicinal scent of the hospital still clinging to his skin.

I felt good. He couldn't pretend that it didn't. Thor was alive and at home and just thinking about how there had been a chance of that not happening made Loki's stomach roll. Loki's grip on Thor's shoulders tightened, and Thor pressed his cheek harder to Loki's in response.

Loki pulled back before the waterworks could start up again, forcing on a smile before standing up.

He could see Sadie's head whip around from the corner of his eye, could feel Thor's eyes still on him. He kept his gaze forward as he walked to the front door, bundling himself up before finally leaving.

 

* * *

 

Thor faced the window as he did some breathing exercises, one of the blinds pulled up to reveal the clear night sky and snow-topped houses. It was downright picturesque, but he couldn't find the will to enjoy it. He was tired, he was sore, he was sad, he was everything at once.

The door creaked open and Thor turned to find Sadie peeking inside.

Thor let her in with a gesture, walking over to sit down on the bed. “Trouble sleeping?”

“Yeah,” she said, coming to sit next to him.

Thor made a sympathetic sound, hugging her around the shoulders with one arm. “Sorry Bug.”

“Can I sleep in here?”

Thor smiled, kissing her hair. “Of course, sweetheart.”

He stood slowly, pulling the blankets down while Sadie went to the other side of the bed and slipped under them. As soon as Thor had settled she scooted closer, carefully resting her head on Thor's shoulder and hugging his arm.

“Thank you for helping so much with your sisters at bedtime tonight, I couldn't have managed without your help.”

She responded with a jerky shrug of her shoulder.

“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” Thor whispered.

There was a pause, and then he could hear her hair rustle against the pillow as she shook her head.

Thor sighed, reaching up to pet her hair. They sat like that, both quiet and contemplative, until Sadie asked, “will you tell me about how you and papa met?”

“Haven't I told you about that before?”

Another shrug.

Thor took a deep breath, chest aching at the movement, recalling the memories like they were from yesterday.

“Well, I had been hanging out with auntie Sif because papa was moving in that day.” Thor smiled at the ceiling, warmth washing over him. “I was nervous about being there... I had no idea what to expect, I just knew we were the same age and from hearing stories about other foster kids I assumed we'd just fight constantly and I was never going to feel comfortable at home again.”

Thor let out a wistful sigh. “But when I finally came home and went to introduce myself and saw him I... I froze. I mean _completely_ froze up,” Thor chuckled to himself at the memory. “I probably made a really stupid face at him.”

“He was sitting there on the bed, looking around – and then at _me_ – and the sun was hitting him just right and he just looked so... _beautiful_.

It was startling. I hadn't really considered that I could have been gay at that point, I just thought I was just less in to girls than the other guys, or I hadn't met the right girl yet, but the way I felt when our eyes met-” Thor let his breath out in a whoosh, looking down to find Sadie looking back at him, watching with a little smile on her face.

“It still took me a while to really accept it, I guess, but he had me right from that point, there was no turning back.”

“Did papa feel the same way?”

Thor let out a huff of laughter. “Well, from my perspective, not really,” he answered, “he was a lot more standoffish when he was younger, but he told me after we got together that he'd liked me right from the start too.”

“What happened when you told grandma and grandpa?” Sadie asked, voice full of curiosity.

Thor felt himself blush at _that_ particular memory, clearing his throat to stall. “That's a whole 'nother story, Buggy.”

Sadie perked up, lifting her head. “I wanna hear it, were they mad?”

“Uh, _kinda_ ,” Thor said, “but you have to go to school tomorrow, and my head is starting to hurt.”

Sadie pouted, huffing and plopping back down. “I wanna hear the story.”

“Some other time.”

“Tomorrow?”

“ _Maybe_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [And this is how Frigga and Odin found out.](http://thisdorkyblogthing.tumblr.com/post/139894336242/this-warm-up-grew-little-legs-so-i-thought-id)


	14. Present Day

Thor hobbled down the stairs as fast as he could manage, one hand on the railing and the other wrapped around his waist, grimacing at the (many, so many) pains and aches that came with every step.

“One second,” he grit out, noticing Loki’s dark head of hair in the frosted window on the door. His eyebrows were still high on his forehead with surprise when he opened the door. Apples of his cheeks tinged pink and hair blown in to a mess from the harsh breeze, Loki smiled at Thor, holding up one of the festively decorated coffee cups in his hand. All bundled up in black boots and jeans and a crisp looking black wool coat, it all somehow reminded Thor of when Loki was younger, making his chest hurt with the warmth and feelings that brought up.

“Are you okay to have caffeine?”

Thor stepped aside to let him in, taking the cup as Loki walked inside. “I’m... not sure, actually.”

“Well, I got you a hot chocolate, either way,” Loki said, pulling off his coat and hanging it up. Thor’s eyes dropped of their own accord as Loki put his back to him. Thor had to resist the urge to make some sort of noise at the sight of the form-fitting sweater he wore, in that favorite shade of green he always wore. He took a big, scalding gulp of hot chocolate.

“Mom called you, didn’t she?” he croaked out, cringing at the pain. He had a feeling after he all but kicked her out last night.

“Of course she did,” Loki replied, bending forward to untie his boots, “but I mean, I was already planning on coming over early anyway.”

“I handled last night on my own pretty damn well,” Thor protested, making a point to look out the window beside the door.

Loki gave him a look as he pulled off his boots.

Thor added, weakly, “Sadie helped.”

Loki rolled his eyes, his expression still fond, somehow.

“Shut up.”

Loki arched a brow at him. “Did I say something?”

Thor narrowed his eyes and sipped noisily at him.

Loki snorted at him, rolling his eyes again. “Are the girls up yet?”

“Sadie’s started getting ready and I usually wake Alyssa and Riley up about twenty minutes from now.”

Loki’s face turned serious. “How have they been?”

Thor shrugged as they both walked in to the living room. “Alyssa and Riley seem pretty okay, they were a little clingier than usual to me last night, but that’s it. Sadie had trouble sleeping last night.”

Loki nodded along, looking as though he expected that.

“She didn’t want to talk to me about it,” Thor added, unprompted, feeling pangs of worry and hurt about it.

“Lets try giving it a few days,” Loki said, voice low and his tone soothing. “It all just may be too fresh.”

Thor sighed and nodded, scratching around one of the cuts on his forehead.

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Thor said with a snort of laughter.

Without another word, Loki guided him on to the couch. Thor couldn’t help but smile as Loki sat close beside him. Grabbing the remote and turning on the local news, which was still reporting on the snowstorm and all the damage it caused, they sat and watched for a few moments in silence.

“And they’re calling for more? Fuck,” Loki sighed. He took a big gulp of his coffee, like it was liquor, even grimacing a little for the full effect.

Thor felt a twinge of uneasiness as he watched the meteorologist gesticulate wildly at the animated snowflakes on the screen behind him, thoughts filled with slick, icy roads and the sounds of screeching tires and grinding metal. He shivered.

“Thor?”

Thor let out the breath he was holding, looking up to see Loki watching him with worry. “Sorry.”

“Thinking about the crash?”

Thor swallowed around the thickness in his throat, nodding his head. Loki laid a hand tentatively Thor’s knee.

Thor coughed up, “I can’t get it out of my head... and I’m just...” He didn’t even know.

Thor huffed and pinched the achy bridge of his nose lightly. It didn’t break in the crash, but it did get banged up like the rest of him. “I never thought I could actually not like snow,” he forced out with a laugh.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Loki set his coffee down and leaned in, hugging Thor around the shoulders.

Thor shivered again at the endearment and the hug, wanting to stay like this forever. He missed it (misses it) so, so much he could weep. He wrapped his arms around Loki and buried his face in to his neck, taking in the scent of Loki’s cologne and shampoo and the deeply familiar one below all that, the one that had always made Thor feel like he was home when he smelled it.

They stayed like that, with Loki twisted up in the most wretched position, until they heard one of the stairs creak.

They pulled away as Sadie slumped in, looking far tired and bundled up in one of Thor’s hoodies and a pair of sweat pants, her hair wrapped in a towel piled on her head.

She instantly perked up at the sight of Loki. “Papa!!” Thor watched with a smile as she hopped in to Loki’s lap, and him squeezing her as tight as he could to his chest, until she giggled.

“Good morning my little Sadie-bug.”

He finally let her go and she sprawled out along both their laps, head on the armrest of the couch, as they watched the news for awhile longer before flipping on to cartoons.

“What are we having for breakfast?” Sadie asked, her stomach grumbling on cue.

“What do you want?” Thor asked, poking at her side.

She flinched, flinching again when Loki decided to join in and tickle one of her feet.

“Cheesy eggs,” she answered with a laugh, “extra cheesy.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know,” Thor teased as he tickled her side, looking over to Loki. “What do you think?”

“I don’t think she asked nicely enough,” Loki said matter-of-factly, already pinning soon to be flailing legs with his arm.

“You know, I don’t either.” Thor grinned.

“No, no, no-” Sadie yelped as they attacked, squirming and flailing and laughing as Thor and Loki tickled her side and feet simultaneously, chanting “please, please, please” until they relented, sagging with relief.

Thor gave her belly a pat and she rolled on to the floor, flopping on to the rug. “Okay, the blandest, runniest oatmeal ever, coming right up.”

Sadie groaned while Loki snorted.

“Can you get the girls up for me?” Thor asked with a slight grimace, noticing the time and realizing they were running a bit late.

Loki got up and attempted to peel his lump of a daughter off the floor. “It’s why I’m here.”

Thor couldn’t stop smiling as he started on breakfast, comforted by the amplifying noises in the house as Loki woke the younger girls up, their voices all drifting down stairs.

 

Loki sauntered up to the open door of the bathroom the three girls shared, leaning on to the frame as he watched Sadie blow dry her hair, the sweatshirt she’d been wearing hanging on the doorknob.

She pulled the long, dark curtain of hair hanging over her face aside as she looked back at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied with a shrug. Just as she began working on her hair again he said “wait,” and walked up, hugging her around the shoulders tightly. Sadie smiled, leaning in to him.

“Sorry, I’ll leave you alone now,” he said softly as he let go of her, patting her shoulders and walking back out to check on the other girls.

He knocked before he poked his head in to Alyssa’s room, snorting as he found her passed out on her bed with her pants pulled halfway up her legs.

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you to your own devices,” he muttered to himself as he walked in. “Come on, darling, look alive!”

 

* * *

 

Thor looked visibly nervous as the girls packed themselves in to Loki’s car. Loki frowned as his heart panged with sympathy. He reached out, rubbing Thor’s arm in a way that was hopefully soothing.

“I’ll be careful,” he said softly.

“I know.” Thor nodded, giving him a tight smile.

“And I’ll come back after I’m done dropping them off, so if there are any errands you need to run.”

Thor squinted at that. “What about work?”

Loki just shrugged. “Only thing I’d need to be there for are some meetings this afternoon, my team can handle the rest it... well, they better be able to.”

Thor still looked confused.

“The perks of not working freelance, or having a boss that thinks your funny, I guess,” Loki explained, giving another shrug.

Thor blinked.

“Better get going,” Loki said, strolling through the trail the girls already trudged through the snow. “See you in a bit.”

Thor watched, emotions churning in his belly unpleasantly. He forced on a smile as Loki pulled out of the driveway, waving back at the girls as they drove away.

He stepped back and shut the door, leaning heavily against it and frowning at the floor.

Why couldn’t he be that nonchalant about work when we were married? he thought, old bitterness and resentment bubbling up.

He pushed away from the door, walking back in to the living room and laying on the couch, huffing at the ceiling and trying to not dwell on it. Not too much, at least.

 

* * *

 

Loki knocked on the door before walking inside. He could see Thor’s arm thrown over the armrest of the couch and, assuming he was sleeping, moved as quietly as possible. Boots and coat off, he walked deeper inside.

He was startled as Thor suddenly sat up, the look on his face strange.

“Oh, I thought you were sleeping, sorry-”

“Why didn’t you ever do that before?”

Loki shook his head, blinking rapidly at the question and the attitude it came with. “What?”

Thor huffed, rubbing his hands over his face and raking them through his messy hair. “You- You were always working, I always had to _drag_ you away from your phone or laptop and- I don’t get it.”

Loki’s face went slack, arms limp at his sides. “Oh.”

Thor looked up at him, looking as though he was trying to keep his expression neutral, but the tension was still there plain on his face.

Loki shifted his weight, bit his cheek. The question and the penetrating look Thor was giving him were making him want to squirm.

“Why does it matter now?” he replied, feeling defensive.

Thor looked away at that, jaw clenched, and shrugged.

They’re frozen in the tense silence for minutes.

“I knew you didn’t like it,” Loki said, voice low, “but I thought you at least understood why I worked so much.”

Thor sat perfectly still, entire body tense.

“I was doing what I had to do,” Loki continued, voice rising as old anger reared it’s head. Loki bit his tongue before he could say something harsher.

He rubbed a hand down his face. Goddammit, this is why he left.

“I don’t want to fight,” he admitted, sounding tired to his own ears.

Thor looked up, face a little softer.

“I didn’t like it either, you know,” Loki huffs, because he can’t hold it back. “I thought you knew that.”

Eyes falling back to the floor, Thor’s anger deflated entirely.

Far too many painful memories flooded Loki’s mind, shoulders going tight.

“I didn’t get to see our daughters every night anymore, so I needed to make the most of every moment I did get with them, so I got a different job...” Loki shrugged.

Another long, tense silence.

“That’s why I’m _like this_ now,” Loki finished in a whisper, “happy?”

Thor glanced up, gnawing on his lip and giving Loki something between a nod and a shrug.

Loki sighed, heavily. “I still have a few hours before I have to be anywhere, do you need me to take you anywhere?”

Thor was quiet, refusing to look away from the floor, wringing his hands. He shook his head.

“I’ll see you later, then.”

Thor just sat there, eyes downward, silent. It felt familiar in the worst way possible, and Loki couldn’t get out fast enough, slamming the door behind and nearly stomping out to his car.

 

* * *

 

Tony hung back as the meeting dispersed, watching Loki as he sorted through his notes.

“Get on with it,” Loki huffed, shutting his laptop with too much force.

“How’s everything going with Thor and the kids?” Tony asked, nonplussed by Loki’s attitude.

Something about the way he worded that question sent a stab of pain through Loki’s chest. “Everything’s fine.”

Tony nodded, tapped his fingers on the smooth glass table. “Good, good... You just seem a little tense, so I was wondering if something happened.”

Loki’s jaw tightened, hand curling in to a fist. “It was fine, a bit awkward, but fine for the most part.”

“Ah.”

They sat in silence for a minute, neither making any move to leave the room.

“We talked a little,” Loki ground out, “about... me not being a workaholic anymore.”

“Oh? How’d it go?”

Loki had the sudden realization of how stupid this conversation was, eyebrows pinching as he exhaled noisily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What are you? My therapist?”

He sneered to himself, scooping his papers and laptop off the table and making his way out of the room. But Tony was at his heels, because it was never that easy.

“It went well, I don’t fucking know.” Loki marched down the hall. “It didn’t end in explosions, so I guess that must be good.”

“So... what’s the Doom and Gloom for, then?”

“Because I fucking feel like it!” Loki snarled, turning on a heel to face Tony.

Tony put his hands up, managing to look only a slightly shocked at the outburst. “Okay then.”

Loki turned back, marching towards the elevator with Tony just behind, stewing.

They stepped in to the empty elevator, Loki punching the button to his floor while Tony did nothing. So he was going to just keep following Loki...

_Goddammit_.

“I just don’t get why he fucking cares about it _now_.” Loki blurted out. The stir of feelings that had been slowly heating to a boil started bubbling over. A million thoughts raced through his head, the front of his head aching as he tried to sort through them. Paper crunched in his hands as he squeezed them, trying to hold back tears.

The rest of the ride to Loki’s floor was in silence, with Loki staring at the doors. Tony followed silently to his office, shutting the door behind them.

Loki set his laptop down on his desk and slumped in to his chair. Tony sat across from him, waiting for Loki to talk.

“I thought he knew. I thought...” Loki slapped a hand over his forehead, groaning as he massaged it. “He always went on about how much he supported me when we were younger, I thought he understood.”

Loki looked off in to the distance. Too many thoughts, too many feelings he’d kept pushing aside for who-the-fuck knew how long were hitting him all at once, and he couldn’t stop them now. He blinked when his vision blurred, tears burning his cheeks.

“So...” Tony drawled, when it seemed Loki was done talking (for the moment). “Why _does_ it matter now?”

Loki sniffed sharply, wiping his cheeks roughly. “It doesn’t.”

Tony cocked a brow at him. “Really? Because from where I’m sitting-”

“We’re divorced,” Loki croaked out, digging his heels in. “It doesn’t matter anymore, that’s all done.”

He could see the pitying look Tony was giving him in the corner of his eye. He closed his tightly, pressing his fingertips in hard enough for stars to appear.

“Really?”

“Yes it is,” Loki snapped, “Jesus Christ, Tony, what the fuck do you want from me!?”

Tony held his hands up. “I just don’t like seeing my friend unhappy.”

Grumbling, Loki rubbed his face, stood from his chair, and began to pace.

“Have you given dating a thought?”

Loki stopped turning on his heel to glare at Tony. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

Tony shrugged a shoulder, chin resting in his hand as he watched Loki, looking nonchalant now. “You just seem still really hung up on Thor, is all. I mean, having seen the guy I get why, but still.”

Loki’s spine stiffened and jaw clenched. “I’m not,” he said with less conviction than he meant to.

The corner of Tony’s mouth quirked down as his eyebrow went up. “So..?”

“I’m not ready,” Loki said, with even less conviction,somehow.

“Why not, man? You’re in your _prime_ -” Tony grabbed his phone from his pocket while Loki began to sweat. “Is it tinder or grindr that’s for gay guys?”

Loki’s eyes went wide, stepping towards Tony. “What are you doing?”

Tony slipped out the chair as Loki moved in closer, eyes still glued to his phone and tapped away on the screen.

Loki stopped, trying to sound calm as he said, “Tony, what are you doing?”

“Doing what you’ve been too afraid to do for three years.”

Eyes wide, Loki lunged forward. Tony dodged him with an annoying ease.

Tony frowned at his phone. “What the hell is a tribe- _oooh!_ ” He grinned and looked up at Loki, eyes narrowing as he appraised him before setting his focus back on his phone. “Lets go with ‘ _daddy_ ’...”

“Tony, _stop_.”

Tony looked up, putting on a look of innocence and confusion. “Why?”

Loki just stared at him, jaw clenching. “I’m fucking ready, okay!?”

“When are you going to be ready?”

“I don’t fucking _know_ ,” he growled, “whenever the fuck I am.” He surged forward, and this time Tony didn’t dart off-

“What about when Thor finds someone else?”

Loki’s heart seemed to stop, stomach dropping to his feet. His face must’ve betrayed his thoughts, because Tony gave him the most sympathetic look he'd probably given to anyone _ever_.

“I mean, guy like that just isn’t going to be single forever, someone’s gonna snatch him up eventually.”

Loki’s vision began to blur again.

He tried imagining it- he didn’t _want_ to, but his brain decided it was going to fuck with him anyway- Thor with someone else, smiling and kissing and fucking, doing all the things he used to do with Loki.

He let go of Tony’s hand like it burned, turning his back to him as fresh tears began to fall. “Fuck off,” he whispered, voice cracking.

Tony left without another word, and Loki was finally left alone.

Loki looked out the window in his office, eyes looking past the snow that had begun to fall, his chest feeling so very alone.

 

***

 

Sadie was _pissed_.

As soon as she was reasonably sure her dad had fallen asleep she had gone downstairs, retrieving her phone from it’s tupperware prison that Thor for some reason thought she couldn’t get to, and instantly sent a flurry of texts to Tony. No, she did not give a damn about how late it was, _thankyouverymuch._

Tony replied with a call a couple minutes later. She snuck out on to the back porch to answer, cursing softly as he bare feet hit the snow.

“Jesus Christ it’s two am,” Tony grumbled, “don’t you have school tomorrow?”

“They hate each other!” she hissed, the steam coming from her mouth feeling extremely appropriate for her mood at the moment. “They were happy this morning, and then this afternoon they barely looked at each other at all!”

“Yeah, they must have had a fight or something this morning, Loki was being kind of dodgy with the details...”

Sadie huffed, shivering from a mix of the cold and her anger.

“You've got to give it a little time, okay? Your papa is... stubborn. It’s gonna take more prodding for him to get his head out of his ass.”

Sadie whined stomping her foot. “I’m sick of fucking waiting.”

“Language,” Tony chided, and Sadie rolled her eyes.

“I think I might’ve gotten a bit progress with him today, though. I think I really freaked him out.”

“What’d you do?”

“Oh, just pushed his buttons really hard,” he explained, “I think he may have realized he still cares about your dad more than he wants to think he does.”

Sadie let out a relieved huff. “Good.”

“Don’t be surprised if he seems a little more prickly though, he’s probably gonna be on the defensive now.”

“Okay.”

“You really need to focus on your dad right now, he can already admit that he’s still in love with your papa, so at least that battle is won.”

Sadie hugged herself, her teeth began to chatter. “What should I do?”

“You need to get him to admit it to Loki, one way or another.”

“He won’t though, he doesn’t think papa loves him anymore.”

“You have to push him any way you can think of, just... try and get them to spend as much time together as possible. Maybe he'll let it slip.”

The gears in Sadie’s mind began working. “I can do that.”

“Good, me and Natasha will keep working on Loki.”

Sadie nodded, smiling a little, feeling calmer(and a lot colder). “Okay.”

“We’re gonna get these two idiots back together, got it?”

The door slid open behind Sadie and she turned slowly to find her dad looming in the doorway. He didn’t look pleased.

“I have to go now,” she said, quickly hanging up on Tony.

“Who were you talking to?” Thor said, voice low and full of warning.

“It wasn’t someone bad, if that makes you feel any better.” 


	15. Present Day

Sadie lunged forward as Thor went to grab his phone, hers clutched in his other hand, and grabbed his wrist.

“Okay, okay I’ll explain!” she said, panicking. “Just don’t call papa.”

Thor’s expression was tight and stern, and she couldn’t help but wither just a little as his gaze turned back to her. But he let go of the phone, so that was good.

She cleared her throat, fidgeting as he watched, arms crossed over his, the screen of her phone glowing. With Tony’s number. which he had seen as soon as he dragged her back inside. And proceeded to get very angry about.

Sadie closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as she formed her reply, knowing it would need to be _good_. She opened them, pulling back her shoulders and standing to her full height and looking her father in the eye.

“He’s trying to help me get you and papa back together.”

Thor blinked, staying very still. He blinked again. Once more for good measure.

“What?” The anger was gone from his voice now. _Good!_

“I skipped school the other day to have a meeting with him and Natasha.”

Thor’s eyes went wide. “You went in to the middle of the _city-_ ”

“He sent a driver,” she interjected, hands waving wildly. “But yes, and he thinks papa’s still in love with _you_ too!”

“Sadie,” Thor groaned, sagging and leaning on the counter, propping himself up on his elbows and rubbing his face roughly.

“ _What!?_ ”

Thor took deep breath and stood again, expression verging on miserable. “That’s not... Bug, I don’t know what exactly you’re planning on doing, but it’s just not going to work.”

“Why not!?” Sadie’s voice was high and frantic, flinging her arms and letting them flop back down. “You still love him, don’t you?”

“I-I _do_ ,” Thor let out with a heavy sigh, “but that just isn’t enough sometimes.”

Anger suddenly filled Sadie as she stared at her defeated looking dad. “But it is!”

Thor sighed again, walking around the counter to envelop Sadie in a tight hug. “I know it's hard for you to understand right now, but relationships are complicated-”

Sadie growled, pushing herself away. Her anger diminished slightly at the hurt on her dad’s face, but not enough.

“So you won’t even try!?” Her voice shook, eyes already welling up. Her hands curled in to fists at her sides, eyes narrowed.

Thor stayed quiet, wringing his hands as his face twitched. Expression pained, he looked away from her, down at his hands. He moved his mouth like was going to say something, but nothing would come out.

Sadie shook her head and huffed, turning and stomping her way back to her room. She slammed her door shut behind herself and flung herself in to bed, managing to bury her face in her pillow before she started to cry.

She fell asleep without hearing her dad come back upstairs.

 

* * *

 

Loki gave himself a quick once-over in the rear-view mirror before getting out of the car, coffee-less and with only a few minutes to spare before he’d have to be hauling off with the girls. He wouldn’t have come at all if wasn’t necessary, still feeling bitter and angry about everything from yesterday. (He wasn’t feeling too pleased with Tony either, and was planning on giving the bastard as much cold of a shoulder as he reasonably could for yesterday’s prying, and make sure he deleted that goddamn grindr profile.)

Deeming himself “reasonably presentable” despite the massive bags under his eyes, he stepped out, shivering as the air bit in to his exposed skin and icy flurries stung his cheeks. Jogging up to the front door he gave it a quick knock before slipping inside.

He made his way to the kitchen, the mood subdued as Thor finished breakfast with Alyssa and Riley. He manged to look even worse than Loki, eyes puffy and rimmed with red, the delicate skin at the inner corners a deep, bruised shade.

Thor got twitchy when he looked over at Loki, eyes meeting briefly before he looked down at the plate.

“Where’s Sadie?”

As Thor opened his mouth and, as though on cue, there was the sound of a door opening and slamming shut, and then Sadie was stomping down the stairs and in to the kitchen. Blatantly ignoring the plate Thor had set out for her, she went to one of the cabinets to grab a granola bar. Thor’s entire body sagged, looking so forlorn and giving the most downtrodden look to their daughter’s back that Loki couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy at the sight.

“We should be heading off soon,” Loki said cautiously after a few long, awkward minutes passed with little more than Riley and Alyssa talking to each other, “those flurries are gonna slow us down so...”

Thor nodded, telling the girls to finish getting ready and picking up their plates as they dashed off.

Loki watched from the entryway to the living room as Thor went to dump Sadie’s uneaten food in the garbage and put all the plates in the sink.

“What happened?” Loki asked, wondering could possibly bring that reaction from their daughter.

“We sort of had a fight last night,” Thor answered quietly as he rinsed the dishes.

Well, that did nothing to sate his curiosity. “What on earth about?”

Thor’s hands paused, shoulders tensing.

Loki’s eyes narrowed and he moved in closer. His face was hidden by a curtain of messy blond hair, not letting Loki get a glimpse of his face. “Thor?”

“I caught her on her phone.”

“Ooh, I see.” Relaxing, Loki chuckled. “Who was she talking to, then?”

“A friend of her’s.”

Loki reached over to pat Thor’s arm. “Ah, well, she’ll get over it, just give it a little time.”

Thor’s face twitched at the small amount of contact, eyes drifting to Loki’s hand as it fell away. He glanced up to Loki’s face, replaying his and Sadie’s conversation in his head and wondering...

He winced and looked away just as fast. _Don’t start getting your hopes up._

 

A hug and a kiss for Riley, another hug and kiss for Alyssa and they were marching out the door. Sadie, lips pulled tight and arms crossed tightly over her chest, was ready to march right past Thor before Loki snatched the handle on the top of her backpack. Blatantly ignoring the look she threw at him, he directed her to stand in front of her other father.

Thor looked back and forth between them, looking pitiful and helpless while Sadie huffed and puffed.

Loki rolled his eyes and nudged her forward.

A moment later Loki gave Sadie another little poke and he heard her huff again, but her arms dropped to wrap around Thor’s waist. Thor finally cracked a smile, wrapping his arms around their grumpy daughter and nuzzling her hair.

Thor gave her a squeeze and planted a kiss on her head before letting her go, and Loki allowed her to stomp off outside without another word.

Loki stayed in the doorway, tapping his fingers on his side. Gathering the will (or courage, Loki wasn’t sure) to ask, “so... do you need to do anything today?”

“Uh, yeah, I should definitely get some groceries today,” Thor replied, awkward and stiff, “if that’s okay.”

Loki nodded, “that’s fine, I just have to be at one meeting to go to today. I can come back around one, if that works for you?”

Thor nodded. “Yeah, that sounds fine...”

They stood there in the doorway

 

* * *

 

[We’re getting lunch.]

Loki snorted at Natasha’s text, sighing as he typed out a reply. [Already decided?]

[Yup.] She texted back, [at that little bistro on the corner.]

Just as Loki sent back fine, another bubble popped up.

[Be sure to look pretty for me.]

Loki scoffed at his phone. [Decided to try and convert me?]

[Something like that.]

Loki narrowed his eyes at the screen, wondering if he should be worried.

 

* * *

 

Yes. He should have been worried.

Right as he walked through the doorway he saw Nat sitting beside a very well-built blond gentleman. He could already feel his muscles tensing and jaw clenching in his aggravation.

As though she could sense his presence(and smell his fear perhaps, Loki wouldn’t be surprised) she turned at looked straight at him before he had the thought to turn and run.

“Loki! Come here! I have someone I want you to meet!”

“Fuck,” Loki muttered under his breath. He forced on a cheery smile(which he was sure didn’t look cheery at all) and dragged himself towards the table.

“This is an old friend of mine, Steve,” she said, gesturing to the large, festively sweatered man at her side. “And this is Loki, the friend I was telling you about.”

Loki and Steve exchanged quick hello’s and solid handshakes, and then the silence loomed as Loki stood there beside the table, not making a move.

“Sit dammit I already ordered food for you.”

Loki glared daggers at her, yanking back one of the tall chair with an ear splitting screech and huffing as he flopped in it.

Natasha continued on, unperturbed by the pure hate that must have been radiating off Loki in waves by now. Steve didn’t seem bothered either, which made Loki dislike him in an instant.

“I was just telling Steve all about you,” Natasha said brightly, “and how sweet you are with your adorable daughters-”

She leaned in a little, voice lowering just enough to give the illusion of secrecy. “Steve _adores_ kids.”

She winked and sat back while Loki fumed.

“He’s so charming, honestly,” she continued, speaking to Steve now.

Steve looked over to him, the corner of his mouth and an eyebrow quirking up in amusement as Loki heard his teeth grind in his head.

“It’s an acidic charm, but charm nonetheless,” Natasha added, nudging Steve with an elbow.

Loki leaned forward, voice soft enough to betray his rage. “Have you and Tony been talking or something?”

Natasha tilted her head like he was speaking gibberish. “What are you talking about? I just bumped in to Steve the other night and I thought you might like each other.”

There was probably steam blowing out Loki’s ears. Natasha just smiled and sipped on her spritzer.

“You know, Loki, I’ve actually just gone through a pretty bad breakup myself-”

Loki’s nostrils flared, feeling heat in his face and his pulse pounding in every corner of his body, glancing to Steve and back to Natasha.

Natasha shrugged, so infuriatingly nonchalant about everything.

Loki stood from the table, his smile seething. “Well, I‘m very sorry to hear that, but despite what our darling friend here may have told you, I’m not really interested in dating yet.”

At that, Steve looked confused. “But she said it’s been three years-?’

Loki let out a growl from the back of his throat and, without hesitating a moment longer, stomped away.

Steve, twisted in his seat, watching Loki stomp off in a huff. “Do you think that really did anything? He was barely here for five minutes.”

“Oh yeah.” She patted his arm. “Exactly what I was going for. You did great by the way, didn’t even flinch.”

Steve chuckled and shrugged his shoulder.

“You promised me lunch.”

 

* * *

 

Thor always looked too big in his car, which was silly, since Loki wasn’t that much smaller than him, but it never failed to amuse him nonetheless. He was hunched in the passenger’s seat, wearing Loki’s spare pair of sunglasses since, even with it being overcast, the brightness was still a bit much for Thor’s eyes to handle.

That so called lunch hung on his mind - along with everything from yesterday (and Loki still hadn’t gotten his hands on Tony, the slippery little shit) -- and even though the fury he’d felt at the moment had left him and left him feeling strangely hollow. It had him thinking far too much.

Loki pursed his lips. He kept his eyes trained on the road, but that didn’t stop him from focusing on Thor, quietly shifting and sighing in the passenger seat.

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Thor murmured in the break between pop-y holiday song covers.

Loki huffed, still feeling prickly as he shot Thor a look. His shoulders drooped, as his eyes fell to the bruises and bandaged wounds on Thor’s face, anger crumbling in to pieces while his fingers twitched on the wheel. “It’s fine,” he said, jaw tight with the uncomfortable swirl of feelings in his belly.

“I just-” Thor started, face twitching and pushing his hair back. “I’m glad you have a job you're happy with now.”

A smile twitched on Loki’s face, but it felt bittersweet. “Thanks.”

“You like it, right?”

“Oh yeah, it’s great, I actually like the people I work with and everything,” Loki replied, sounding genuinely brighter. Then his lip curled as he thought of Nat’s and Tony’s antics. “Well, most of the time, anyway.”

“That’s good.” Thor nodded. “Do you still get to do a lot of illustrating?”

Loki’s smile came much more easily that time. Thor had always been the biggest fan of his drawings, despite how he’d seemed to have felt about his actual job.

“I get to control a lot of the designing we do, which involves some sketching, and tweaking what my team comes up with, but it’s not the most hands on sort of stuff.”

“Do you ever draw when you have free time, then?”

“Um-” Loki’s mouth twitched. “Not so much.”

“Oh,” Thor said quietly, trying to not sound disappointed and failing.

“What about you?” Loki said quickly, trying to keep the lighter mood. “Got anything... going on?”

Thor shifted in his seat, face twitching. “Not really.”

“Ah.”

Thor shifted in his seat again, wringing his hands in his lap and forcing out a short, breathy laugh to attempt to hide his discomfort. “Yeah, I’m kind of just focusing on work and taking care of the girls and... all that.”

Loki gave a little nod of his head, eyes lingering on Thor for a moment before going forward again. The silence that fell after wasn’t tense, but thick with anxiety. Like both of them had something to say, but were scared to be the first to speak.

Thor thought of what Sadie had said last night, adrenaline jolting through him as he looked out the window and briefly imagined just... blurting everything out and seeing what happened.

“There are some races in the spring that I’ve been thinking about doing,” Thor mumbled a few moments later, feeling lame and cowardly.

“Running?” Loki snorted. At least the mood in the car lightened considerably.

Thor shrugged. And then added, almost petulantly, “I’m not the _worst_ runner.”

“Well, no, it’s be sort of impossible with these fucking things.” Loki jabbed at a thigh, making Thor guffaw. “But you do manage to be pretty bad.”

“I’ve been getting _better_.”

“Oh, have you finally started using a program?”

Thor frowned. “It’s running, it doesn’t need a _program_.”

Loki let out a huff of laughter, glancing away from the road again to give him _that look_ , and Thor huffed.

“I am better than I was before,” Thor said, desperately defending himself.

Loki looked back to the road with a smirk and said nothing.

“I _am!_ ”

Loki sighed after awhile, tapping his fingers along the steering wheel. “So, Has Riley been pestering you for a phone?”

“She’s been working on you?”

“Oh yes, I don’t think she realizes that we both came up with the phone rule.”

Thor chuckled, pushing up the sunglasses to rub his eyes. “Well, Alyssa’s been begging for a kitten.”

“Have you been thinking about it?”

“Yeah,” Thor sighed, head lolling on the headrest to look over at Loki. “Kittens are so cute.”

Loki nodded in agreement, humming. “Might be better to wait for that though, take all three of them to pick it out together.”

“Yeah, except we might end up bringing half the shelter home with us.” Thor said with a chuckle. Thor’s head whipped back to Loki, eyebrows high with excitement. “Ooh, do you think there might be a shelter that does like, gift certificates? So we have something to give them without committing to animal.”

“That’s an idea,” Loki hummed mind already working, “I could come up with something if they don’t do that, make it look all professional.”

“Has Sadie said anything to you about what she wants this year?”

“Besides clothes and a few little things here and there?” Loki said, mouth quirking in to a quick frown as he thought about it. “No, nothing.”

Thor sighed. “I feel bad not having something sort of big to give her this year.”

“Well, she’s getting older,” Loki reasoned, “did you have any sort of toy or _thing_ you desperately wanted when you were thirteen?”

Thor looked up as he thought about, shrugging. “Guess not, it’s still kind of making me feel bad though.”

The skin between Thor’s eyebrows was still pinched, eyes narrowed at the shelves of cereal but his gaze unfocused with thought. Loki couldn’t help but feel a bit fond at Thor’s needless worrying. He nudged Thor’s arm with his own, making Thor look at him. “I’m sure she’ll be happy with what she gets. And, I’m sure if there’s something she really desperately wants she’ll tell at least one of us.”

The look on Thor’s face became strange, his eyes darting away from Loki. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I know I am.”

 

* * *

 

Thor stood at the door to Sadie’s room, hesitating before cautiously knocking.

“What?”

“Can we talk?”

Thor waited, heart sinking when he heard nothing for a few moments. Then he heard her bed creaking, and the soft thumping of her footsteps as she walked to her door. He smiled as she opened the it and let him in, the both of them walking to her bed and sitting side-by-side.

There was silence between them as Thor tried to think of what he wanted to say. Sadie sat with her arms crossed and kept gaze aimed at the floor, but some of the fire seemed to have died down. Her shoulders were slack, expression pulled down in to a frown that was more sad than angry.

Thor took the risk and pulled her in to a hug. She hugged him back, letting out an annoyed sigh first.

Thor took a deep breath. He’d been doing a lot of thinking, probably more than the doctor wanted him to with a concussion, but he couldn’t stop it at this point.

“I can’t make any guarantees that we’ll actually get back together-” Thor felt his stomach flipping, his limbs trembling faintly with the rush of feelings - hope, fear, love - that coursed through him. He couldn’t push back the thoughts that had been keeping him up at night, the what if’s and fantasies that had always been there, but he’d been able to ignore before.

“-But I’ll try.”

Sadie was frozen for a moment. She pulled back, searching Thor’s face with wide eyes as he smiled at her softly and pushed her hair back behind her ears.

Then she let out a scream that made Thor wince, before diving back in to Thor’s arms and giving him the tightest hug she could manage, which was just enough to make Thor wheeze with the pain from his ribs.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she said quickly pulling back. “You really mean it?”

Thor let out a laugh that turned in to a sigh. He wasn’t sure how, but he managed to feel as _hopeless_ as he did _hopeful_. But he figured, at the very least, trying couldn’t hurt much more than what he’d been doing.

“Yeah, I really mean it.”


	16. Present Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY WHAT'S UP WHO THOUGHT I WAS GIVING UP ON THIS STORY?? PROBABLY EVERYONE BUT I CAN'T BLAME YOU GUYS FOR THAT. 
> 
> SURPRISE! **IT LIVES!!!** and this time around I've got a rough draft of the rest of this story written and everything! It's super rough, BUT IT'S SOMETHING DAMMIT.
> 
> I wanna get this done THIS YEAR DAMMIT

_Flirting Your Way Back in to Your Ex-Husband’s Arms For Dummies_

If only _that_ book existed. Thor sighed to himself, finally giving up on his fruitless googling that only offered him advice on how to get over your ex or how to get a restraining order. Thor was on his own for this, it seemed. He shut his laptop and set on the coffee table, leaning his head back on the couch and shutting his eyes to give some relief to the dull, throbbing ache in his head.

All that reading was definitely still against doctor’s orders, but he just needed to look. It wasn’t like he could just do what he’d done back when they were kids and expect to work now, they were older, slightly more mature. _Right?_ He laid down, eyes drifting from the cartoons still playing in the TV to the winter wonderland that was the back yard, the snow a blinding shade of white despite the overcast sky. He let his mind drift to less stressful things for the moment, like what he would make for dinner and how Loki had his hair pulled into a cute little ponytail that morning.

He smiled softly, shutting his eyes as he recalled the whole short but still nerve-wracking 20 minutes. The promise he made to Sadie in the back of his mind as he let Loki inside, the way he couldn’t push back or ignore how he (still) felt anymore, the worry that it was all blatantly obvious on his face and that Loki could still read him like a book. It didn’t help that some of the tension still seemed to linger from their spat, making every moment just that extra bit more awkward.

Thor let out a soft groan to himself. That was what needed to be dealt with first, wasn’t it? What could he do if they still walked on eggshells most of the time they were near each other.

_We’re divorced, how is it not going to be awkward._ Thor rubbed his eyes roughly, feeling hopeless and silly for even entertaining the thought of being able to win Loki back and raising Sadie’s hopes for nothing.

He was startled from his wallowing with the quiet knock at the door, sitting up as fast as he could manage as Loki let himself inside. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

The silence dragged on as Loki stood a few feet away and Thor got himself upright.

Loki gave him a tight-lipped smile, tucking a loose bit of hair behind his ear. “So... any business that needs to be done today? My day is clear.”

Thor’s brain was still stuck on that hair tuck. He caught up slowly. “I could do some grocery shopping again, I forgot a few things I needed the other day.”

Loki nodded and his smile softening. “I actually have a few things I need to get too... Are you going to need to get ready?” He gave a pointed look at Thor’s legs, which happened to still be clad in pajama bottoms.

Thor looked down at himself and let out a chuckle. “Yeah-” and as he hoisted himself from the couch with a grimace, he added with a groan: “it’s gonna take me a few minutes though.”

Loki let out a quiet laugh. “Don’t worry about it.”

Thor huffed as soon as he was on his feet, shuffling his way towards Loki and, on a whim, getting a little more close than strictly necessary.

“I’ll try to be quick.”

The way the words fell from Thor’s mouth- so low and rumbling that it could almost count as a purr- had Loki’s pulse speeding up, had his eyes glued to Thor’s back as he walked to the stairs. He was still frozen there, watching him with what had to be some dumbstruck look on his face when Thor turned to make his way up them, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a smirk that clearly said _caught you._

“Do you need help with anything?” he blurted out, scrambling for _something_ to excuse his blatant leering. He cringed as soon as it sunk in and Thor’s smirk grew.

“I think I’ll manage, but I’ll call you up if I need it.”

Loki let out the breath he’d been holding as soon as Thor disappeared from his view, slinking off to the couch and flopped on to it face first. _It was still warm from Thor laying it on it, even._ Well. He could admit one thing at least: Thor was still, by far, the most gorgeous man he’d ever laid his eyes on.

He _could_ admit that, right? No one could give him shit for it because _look at him_ , how could you _not_ feel lust for him.

Thor _knew_ it too, which was really awful. Though... he didn’t seem to mind it...

Loki’s stomach did a cartwheel.

“Don’t be stupid,” he mumbled to himself.

 

Thor leaned against the sink as he scrubbed his legs dry one at a time, smiling at the tile on the floor. Loki, at the very least, still found him attractive. He couldn’t even try to hide it either. He should’ve remembered that from the incident with the pasta at dinner, probably, but he’d gotten distracted. This was good, he had something to work with. Sure, maybe it wasn’t the more mature and adult way of going about this, but whatever gets the job done.

He hung the towel up and walked back in to the bedroom, letting his hair out of the blue clip he’d stolen from one of his daughters and shaking it out with his fingers as he walked to the closet. He rifled through it, rejecting all his usual loose fitting t-shirts and digging deeper in to the stash of stuff he’d nearly forgotten about, shirts he’d stopped wearing for one reason or another. He found a henley shoved way in the back, in the kind of deep red that Loki had always said he looked good in. It looked a bit small for him now, which would be perfect.

Loki stood from the couch as he heard Thor start to make his way down the stairs, straightening his sweater and running his hands over his hair to make sure everything was still in place. He walked towards the front door to put his shoes and coat back on, careful not to look at Thor in case he would lose his grip on himself again.

He couldn’t avoid it though, not when he was jolted by a light, unexpected touch at the middle of his back as Thor got in his space, reaching for his coat at the same time as Loki. His treacherous eyes followed Thor’s arm, dragged in to see his torso clad in formfitting burgundy cotton. Loki’s mouth went very, very dry. Thor slipped on his coat, a bulky brown thing _thank god,_ and Loki was spared the embarrassment of falling over or doing something else embarrassing or stupid.

“Shall we?” Loki said, voice unsteady and eyes darting around to try and avoid looking at Thor’s face.

“Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

The coat, Loki’s one savior, had to get taken off at some point. Which came when they went and got lunch, so Loki was going to have Thor’s perfect pecs right in his face. He should have picked some place where they were stuck eating outside.

They had just settled in, their waitress gone for the moment so they could decide on their orders, leaving them with a pair of menus, their drinks, and silence. Loki found it _almost_ comfortable. The only thing holding him back was that he couldn’t keep his eyes on his goddamn menu for longer than ten seconds at a time.

Thor sat up straighter, tugging on the hem of his shirt which was just _completely_ unnecessary with the way it made the already stretched fabric that much more strained.

“Is there something on my shirt?” Thor asked, his teasing blatant as always.

“That color looks really nice on you,” Loki choked out, forcing his eyes back down. He could feel Thor’s bright smile, his cheeks tingling with heat.

Thor looked back down at his menu, feeling immensely pleased with himself. This was a lot easier than he thought- who would’ve thought all he needed was a tight shirt and Loki would be in shambles? He could push it a little farther, couldn’t he? He coughed to cover the smirk he couldn’t reign in, setting the menu aside as he made his decision. He set his chin in his hand and settled in to watch Loki’s eyes dart all over the menu, clearly not actually taking any information in.

“I hear they have good soup here,” he suggested, keeping his voice low in the way that had never failed to make Loki melt for him.

Loki gave a full body twitch, eyes darting over at Thor for a half a second before going back down. “Oh, yeah?”

Thor didn’t hide his smirk this time. “Mmhmm.”

Loki chewed on his lip, making it a point to not even move his eyes to the top of the menu now. His body went unnaturally still.

The waitress came back, and older lady with a cheery demeanor, nodding along as Thor listed his order of a burger, fries, and the slightly nefarious addition of buffalo wings for an appetizer. Her smile never faltered even as Loki stumbled his way through ordering a soup and sandwich combo.

It was harder now, without the easy distraction of a menu to give Loki something to use as a buffer. He did his best to keep his attention on the kitschy decor surrounding them, but he could only actively avoid looking at Thor for so long before it would get weird. It was ridiculous, honestly. _What are you doing?_ Loki thought angrily at himself, _you’re a grown man, control yourself, Thor’s being nice and you’re supposed to be learning how to get along with each other_.

So, gathering all his courage- or whatever it was that he needed right now- and looked Thor in the eye. Like some real, grown up man who can be normal and friendly with their ex.

Thor’s eyes moved away from where they’d been looking out the window next to their table, the shade of blue so much more startling with the way the sunlight bounced off the piles of snow outside. A smile flickered over his lips, soft and downright affectionate, an eyebrow rising slightly in question. Loki’s lips parted, brain wiped clean of any coherent thought. The only thing left there was a jumble of sounds that could be interpreted as a lot of screaming and obscenities.

“You know, I was thinking maybe we should go ice skating with the girls,” Thor said after Loki stared at him for a century. Nodding his head towards a plastic sign advertising for a holiday festival out by the road, stabbed in to a pile of snow.

Loki swallowed, following Thor’s eyes to it. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m sure the girls would love it.” Thor looked back outside, scratching at his beard before adding quietly, “it’s been a few years since we’ve gone.”

Loki looked back, caught by surprise. “Really? Why?”

Thor answered with a shrug and a noncommittal noise, his smile more forced.

Loki shifted with a different sort of discomfort, not needing any more of an answer than that. “Well, um, yeah, we should do that. The girls will love it.”

The silence that followed was a lot more awkward than before. It seemed like it was impossible to steer totally clear of the giant goddamn elephant in the room. Thor cursed himself in his head. It had been going pretty decently by Thor’s estimation, and then he just had to slip and do _that_ , ruin the mood they had going. And now Loki was looking all dodgy, frowning out the window. Goddammit.

They stewed in that awkward silence until the food arrived. It gave them something to do, at the very least. And it would give Thor a chance to regain some of the ground he lost.

It seemed Loki couldn’t resist the urge to tease, which was reassuring. “You think you got enough food there?”

“I’m a big, growing boy, dear,” Thor shot back with a wink, not missing how Loki’s eyes shot up from his plate at the use of that little endearment. He picked up one of the wings and dug in, smiling at the little scoff Loki let out before digging in to his lunch.

And, when he fished that humble, buffalo sauce drench chicken wing, he made the point suck his fingers clean. He put on an air of thoughtlessness about it, or he hoped he was, keeping his gaze towards the windows or out at the nearly empty restaurant. When he spied Loki watching from the corner of his eye, he glanced back. He let himself enjoy the way Loki jolted at being caught, and the panicky way he tried to cover it up.

“Do I have sauce on my face?” Thor asked, perfectly innocent, dragging the pad of his thumb down the corner of his mouth and along his bottom lip. Loki’s eyes followed the movement without the rest of Loki’s input, and he didn’t hold back a smile as Loki only just managed to tear them away and back down to the bowl of tomato soup in front of him.

“No, you’re fine,” Loki said in one quick breath.

 

* * *

 

Loki had to pull over halfway in to the drive to Riley and Alyssa’s school.

“Jesus _Fucking_ Christ!”

He slammed his his hands on the steering wheel for emphasis.

“What the fuck was all that?” Loki shrieked at the windshield, his mind bursting at the seams with the culmination of hours of stress, confusion, and fucking _hornieness_? Of anything he could have imagined feeling today, after having spent a day alone with Thor - he had not expected to feel the need to rip his goddamn pants off.

Okay, he could have probably _imagined_ it, but at this point he wouldn’t have considered it being a reality.

“Am I going fucking nuts?” He _had_ to be, Thor could not have been doing that on purpose, not at him _now_ at least...

“Could he?”

 

* * *

 

Riley and Alyssa skipped ahead of the the rest of them, arms locked together. Sadie walked between the two of them, quiet but looking happy. The whole place looked like a happy little Christmas village - if those villages were compromised of garland draped vendors in pop up tents and food carts selling fried foods and overpriced knickknacks, respectively - with the ice rink plopped right in the middle of it all. It was charmingly tacky.

“You guys want to look around a little first?” Thor asked the lot of them as they ambled to a stop in a spot relativly clear of people.

Riley’s eyes lit up. “Can we shop?”

Thor and Loki shared a look and answered simultaneously, “ _one_ thing.”

“Three?”

“It’s almost Christmas,” Thor deadpanned.

“... _Two_ things?”

Thor and Loki shared another look. “One.”

Riley let out a heavy sigh, dragging Alyssa along as they made their way towards a line of tents. Alyssa could be faintly heard comforting her sister with “well, at least you tried.”

Thor nudged Sadie with his elbow. “You wanna get something, Bug?”

Sadie shrugged her shoulders as she kept looking around. “Maybe... I do want some hot chocolate right now though,” she said, pointing to one of the carts covered in signs proclaiming all the variations on the drink.

“Ooh, me too,” Loki said, eyes lighting up same. “You want anything?” he asked Thor.

Thor shrugged. “Get me whatever, I’m gonna keep an eye on Riley and Alyssa.”

Loki nodded and him and Sadie ran off to get in the back of the line.

When they finally got their drinks and managed to track down Thor, he was being pestered by both the other girls, seeming to think if they could corner just one of their fathers that they could be worn down.

Thor smiled gratefully as Loki handed him his cup.

“I got peppermint.”

Thor hummed, smiling at Loki before taking a sip.

Riley whined to get Thor's attention back on her, hanging on to his coat.

“Why don't you try asking papa?”

Riley got back to her in an instant, perfectly composed as she walked up to Loki, dragging her (frankly, disinterested looking) younger sister with. “Have I told you lately I love you very much, papa?”

Loki smiled, cupping her cheek. “I love you very much too.”

She took a deep breath, readying to plead her case, beg a little maybe... “Can I please-”

“No,” he said brightly, smile unwavering.

Her face fell. “It's only fifty dollars!”

Thor snickered. Loki tilted his head. “That's the angle you want to go with, my love?”

Riley unleashed the sad puppy eyes. “Please?”

Loki was unmoved. “No.”

Riley whined at the indignity of it all – even her usual partner in crime couldn't even muster the energy to give a crap about an overpriced unicorn lamp or whatever it was – she was already slurping down her own hot chocolate and eyeing some more reasonably priced t-shirts.

“How about some hot chocolate instead?”

“Fine,” she grumbled, taking the cup from the cardboard holder that Sadie held out to her, giving another longing look at the booth with whatever had the item of her dreams as Thor pushed her along to the next one that her sisters had gone in to.

 

Drinks emptied and cups thrown away, novelty t-shirts and socks bought, the girls had decided it was time to get to the point of coming here. It took another long wait in line, _another_ long wait as the ten people working the skate rentals scurried around to find all their sizes, and then trying to find an empty locker to shove their shoes in to. It took a while, but eventually they were watching their daughters set out on to the ice like adorable, wobbly fawns. Thor and Loki were just behind.

“Are you sure this is okay with your head and all that?”

Thor pushed off on to the ice, a little unsteady on his skates. “I’ll go slow.”

Loki made a sound in the back of his throat, pushing off after Thor with a little more ease. His eyes followed their daughters, who were wading in to the thick of the crowd on the ice, quickly reestablishing their balance on the ice and laughing at each other as they wobbled along.

Beside him, Thor wavered, and on instinct Loki caught his arm. Thor gave him a little smirk, and Loki felt the heat rise to his cheeks, his mind needlessly reminding him of earlier. He kept his grip on Thor’s arm though, the two of them staying on the outside of the flow of the crowd, their pace unhurried.

“This is nice,” Thor said softly between the two of them.

“Mmhmm,” agreed. It felt strange to be like this, locked arm in arm with Thor, making slow circles around the ice rink. He could their daughters laughing among the sounds from the rest of the crowd and the music flowing from the speakers set up around the rink. It felt like somehow they were removed from it all - just the two of them in a quiet bubble, simply existing side-by-side. He took a chance to glance over at Thor, right as Thor glanced at him, their eyes meeting.

Time seemed to suspend itself, the sounds around them softening to whispers. Thor knew the longing must’ve been clear as day on his face, his heart thumping with nerves and excitement. The tip of Loki's nose and cheeks flushed pink from the cold, his eyes even more green for it, his expression was soft and open. Could Thor maybe skip all the words? Just lean in and maybe Loki will remember why they’d been together in the first place, what had made them work so well before everything went off the rails-

“Ah!” Thor gasped as he felt someone collide in to his side, the shock of pain in his ribs threw off his balance and his feet slipped out from beneath him. Loki tried to catch him, hugging Thor to his chest which meant he ended up getting dragged to the ice with Thor. The two of them landed in a heap with Thor on top of Loki.

Sadie watched breathlessly from the edge of the rink through her fingers. She may have underestimated her strength _slightly_.

“Uh, why did you just push dad over?” Riley asked, skating to a wobbly stop with Alyssa behind her.

“I- uh- thought it would be funny?”

Thor lifted himself, looking over Loki as his heart beat frantically in his chest.

“Are you okay?” they asked each other simultaneously.

The both of them laughed, hearts settling and each answering before with, “I’m okay.”

Thor got up on to his knees and Loki sat up with a grimace. “My ass is going to be sore tomorrow.”

“Not for the first time after a night with me,” Thor quipped, the tease slipping out thoughtlessly and as naturally as anything. He only realized after it was out that it might of been too much, his eyes widening and an apology ready.

Thankfully, Loki cracked up, looking somewhat shy as he ran a hand over one of his now beet red cheeks as he mumbled out a “I guess you’re right about that.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, he got to his feet, offering Loki a hand. He kept holding it even after Loki was completely upright, and Loki _let_ him.

“Did you see who ran in to you, anyway?” Loki asked, looking around at the crowd.

Thor looked around, his eyes eventually zeroing in on where Sadie stood off to the side of the rink with Riley and Alyssa doing spins around each other. She looked suspiciously guilty as she watched the two of them.

“Happened too fast,” Thor explained, “I’m sure it was just an accident.”

Loki grumbled. “Pretty sure was someone being reckless.”

Thor smiled, tugging Loki along to get back in to the flow of the crowd.

“You could have hit your head on the ice, you know,” Loki continued on.

“I didn’t though,” Thor pointed out.

“Yes, but-”

Thor gave Loki’s hand a squeeze, which stopped Loki’s words in their tracks and seemed to make him realize that they were holding hands. He still didn’t pull away, much to Thor’s relief, and Thor kept pulling him along, and before long they had fallen back in to something close to the comfortable quiet between them from minutes ago.

Loki’s throat felt dry and his heart was beating too fast. What was happening? _Why_ was it happening? Was it even real?

He couldn’t possibly be holding hands with Thor right now. Thor couldn’t possibly look so happy about it either.

He stole a glance and yes, that appeared to be a smile on Thor’s handsome face. And Loki couldn’t tear his eyes away from it. He flinched as blue eyes shifted sideways, catching him, the corner of his mouth rising a little higher.

“Something on my face?” Thor asked softly.

Loki looked away quickly, laughing. “No, everything there is... fine.”

Thor slid around to a stop in front of Loki. “You were looking really intensely, you sure don’t need a closer look?” Thor leaned in closer, his eyes vivid and piercing through Loki.

“It’s- it’s good,” Loki stumbled out, his tongue clunky and heavy.

Thor hummed, the amusement in his expression softening as he took a turn to study Loki’s face. He reached up with the hand that wasn’t clasping Loki’s, gently tucking it back behind Loki’s ear. Loki inhaled deeply at the gentle touch, catching a whiff of Thor’s cologne mixed in the frosty air in the rink.

A group of noisy kids came speeding beside them, startling them out of their trance. Loki cleared his throat and started to skate again, moving around Thor and shaking his hand free.

“Hey, Sadie!”

Sadie turned to see Emma running up to the rink. “Oh, hey!”

“I didn't know you were gonna be here.”

Sadie forced her smile to stay put. “Didn't know we were going until after school.” Not that she would've even asked, since she was on her phone with her boyfriend whenever she had the chance.

“Who'd you come with?” Emma asked, oblivious.

“My dads and sisters.”

“You wanna come meet Tyler?” Emma went on, bouncing with excitement. “He brought a few friends with him too.”

“Uh-” Sadie, adjusting her grip on the wall of the ice rink as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach. She glanced once more at her dads as they skated side-by-side. She sighed, pushing back that weird feeling. “Sure,” she said, pushing away from the wall to skate to one of the exits.

Thor and Loki eventually decided it was time to wind down the night, tracking down Riley and Alyssa, the both of them breathless from racing each other around the ice.

“I’m so _hungry_ ,” Alyssa huffed, head thrown back dramatically as Loki helped get her skates off.

“We’re gonna go get dinner, don’t worry,” Thor said with a chuckle, tying up his boots. “We just need to find Sadie.”

“I think I saw her go with Emma a little while ago,” Riley helpfully supplied as she fixed her scarf, eyes darting longingly at the booths.

“Do you remember which way?”

Riley looked around, squinting. “They went that way, I think.”

Loki pulled off Alyssa’s other skate, gathering them with the other pairs. Sadie had left hers in the locker they had rented, her own boots gone.

“How about I go take these back and you go and track our wayward child down,” Loki offered as he stood, skates bundled up in his arms.

Alyssa popped up as soon as she had her boots tied. “I wanna go with you papa.”

“Alright then,” Loki replied, handing her a couple pairs of skates, “you can help me carry them.”

“You wanna help me find Sadie?” Thor asked Riley. Riley shrugged, hopping up and following Thor as they went their separate ways.

Thor took Riley’s hand in his, eyes narrowing as he searched the crowd for a familiar head of hair. After feeling like they'd searched every corner of the place, Thor finally spotted her in a quieter area of the grounds along with Emma... and what appeared to be boys who were _not_ in middle school.

Thor grumbled quietly to himself and pulled his phone out and typing up a quick text: [found Sadie] [and some older boys]

The response was nearly instant. [where are you]

Thor gave him directions as best he could, looking back up to find Sadie looking back, eyes wide and with one of the boys arms casually slung around her shoulders. She sat stiff, leaning away slightly, arms crossed tight.

“Come on sweetie,” Thor said to Riley as they made their approach, forcing on a vaguely pleasant smile.

“Hey,” he called out as soon as he was close enough. The expressions on the boys’ faces all fell, all of them shifting around and trying to look a little taller. Emma's face went pale, eyes widening. “Well... you guys certainly don’t look like eighth graders,” he said with a pointed sweeping look over the small group. Emma was all but cowering behind the guy with his arm around her.

“What the hell, Sadie? You didn’t mention Emma’s boyfriend was in _high school_.”

Thor threw a look over his shoulder to find Loki marching towards them with a deadly expression on his face.

Emma expression went from fearful to angry, whipping around to glare at Sadie. “You told your dads!?”

Sadie didn’t reply, a tense frown on her face. She shook off the boy's arm and nearly ran to them. “I promised I wouldn’t tell,” she whispered to Loki.

Thor looked back to Emma and the boy hanging off her. “So I can assume your mom and grandma have no idea about him?”

Emma’s anger vanished again, looking guilty as she went back to cowering.

“Why the fuck is it your problem anyway,” Emma's boyfriend snapped at them.

“You know it’s a fucking felony for an 18 year old to sleep with a 13 year old, right?” Loki snapped back. “Or would you _like_ spending the foreseeable future having to tell people you’re a sex offender.”

The boy backed off, but still kept his glare aimed at Loki. Who kept glaring right back.

Thor said to Emma, his voice stern, “we’re taking you home.”

Emma let out an indignant huff and stomped forward, shooting a glare at Sadie before deciding to ignore her completely.

 

“I’ll be back in a minute,” Thor said as he climbed out the car.

Loki watched Emma and Thor make their way in to the apartment's entrance before he turned in his seat to look at Sadie, her eyes glued to the window.

“ _Sadie’s in trouble_ ,” Riley and Alyssa sang together simultaneously. Loki shot them a look that made them go silent and look away.

“She made me promise not to tell anyone how old he was,” she whispered, chewing on her thumbnail.

Loki sighed heavily, last of his anger seeping out of him. He turned back in to his seat. “We’ll talk about this when we get home.”

Thor came back out a couple minutes later, giving Loki a nod before they were off again.

“I’m still hungry,” Alyssa blurted out.

 

* * *

 

Sadie sat on the couch, silent, listening intently as her dads talked in the kitchen and gnawing on her lip. She couldn't make out what they were saying, dammit.

What were they going to do? Her phone was still technically off limits from the whole skipping school thing. And it wasn't like they could tell her she could never hang out with Emma again, since she was sure that Emma was never going to speak to her now.

_Not that she'd been speaking to her much lately anyway_ , she thought, fists clenching in her lap as a lump formed in her throat.

She jumped as her fathers walked back in to the living room, sitting down at either side of her on the couch.

“You're not in trouble,” Loki said softly.

Sadie relaxed, a little, sinking back.

“But you know you should tell us things like that, right?” Thor said.

“I _know_ ,” Sadie grumbled, “it was just- she _made_ me promise not to tell anyone, okay?”

Vision blurring, Sadie blinked with a sniffle. Thor and Loki cooed her name simultaneously, and she was suddenly squashed between the both of them as they went in for a hug at the same time.

Loki froze when he realized how close he was. How close _Thor_ was. Good lord, he didn't remember Thor having _that_ many eyelashes. _They were breathing the same air._ The thought sent a thrill through him, enough that he knew he needed to yank himself away.

Thor pulled back, eyes flitting over him before going back to their daughter.

“I'm sure it'll be okay, sweetie,” Thor said, petting Sadie's hair as a couple tears fell from her eyes.

“Yeah, right,” Sadie scoffed, voice tight as she used her sleeve to wipe her face dry, “she's never going to talk to me again, and I will officially have absolutely no friends.”

“I'm sure that's not true, Bug,” Thor said, seeming a little lost to Loki. “She might be mad for a little while, but I'm sure she'll get over it and realize that she's better off without that guy.”

Sadie shot him a glance with narrowed, doubtful eyes.

Thor looked to Loki, eyes full of desperation.

“Well, her secret is out now, so we know she's mad,” Loki said, his casual tone making Sadie move her skeptical gaze to him. “That was what you worried about, right? Why you didn't tell anyone how old her boyfriend was?”

Sadie nodded.

“Okay, so now what?”

“She's never going to talk to me?” Sadie answered, confused and vaguely annoyed.

“Ah, but if I remember correctly, she was already kind of ignoring you a lot for this oh-so-special- _older_ -” Loki's jaw clenched. _Stay calm, it's over with now_. “-boy, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So...” Loki gestured. “Is it going to be much different, really?”

They could see the gears turning in her head, the tears drying up and sniffles stopping. “I guess?”

“And besides that, it's nearly winter break, so you'll get some space,” Loki added, his toner lighter, “and maybe it'll be enough time for her to come around.”

“And-” Thor jumped in, bringing Sadie's attention back to him. “-Even if she doesn't forgive you, I know you'll be able to make some new friends.”

Sadie rolled her eyes.

“I know he can get a little... _Sesame Street_ about these sorts of things,” Loki said, ignoring the look Thor gave him, “but he's actually pretty right about that one – I was an _asshole_ when I was your age and even I managed to make friends.”

Thor let out a quiet chuckle.

“ _Eventually_ ,” Loki amended, “either way, it'll sort itself out.”

Sadie laughed drily. “How long is _that_ going to take?”

Thor and Loki looked at each other and shrugged, the looks on their faces apologetic.

Sadie groaned, head dropping back.

Thor couldn't resist, he went in for the hug- a tight one, if the wheeze Sadie let out was any indication.

Loki snickered as Thor let her go and she flopped back like a limp noodle, letting it trail off with a sigh. He gave her leg a pat as he got to his feet. “I should be heading out now, I guess.”

Sadie sprang back to life. “Can't you stay a little longer!?”

“Sweetie, I'm sure papa has things he needs to do,” Thor said, his tone placating, but not enough to stop the enraged glare Sadie leveled at him. He ignored it, getting up to lead Loki to the front door.

“And I'll see you bright and early in the morning anyway,” Loki said as he leaned down to plant a kiss on top of her head.

She grabbed on to the hem of Thor's shirt. “Dad-”

“Sadie,” Thor warned.

Sadie snarled, flopping back on to the couch.

Loki was laughing softly as they made their way to the front door. Thor watched as he slipped his shoes and coat back on, getting close again as Loki moved to the door to open it for him. He smiled when Loki glanced back over his shoulder, flustered all over again.

Loki cleared his throat as he moved on to the front step, turning back. “Beside that bit of drama, that was pretty fun.”

“It was,” Thor agreed, “maybe next time we go, we won't have to scare off any high school boys.”

“I'm afraid that problem might just start getting worse.”

Thor cringed. “You might be right.”

“I think we did a pretty good job of dispatching them, though.”

“We have usually done pretty well with the whole teamwork thing, haven't we?” Thor added wink at the end for good measure.

It worked, Loki flustered again, shifting around and looking away from Thor. “Yeah, well... I should be going.”

“Drive safe, okay?”

Loki nodded, nearly tripping down a step.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” Loki said, unsteady.

“Goodnight,” he said, shutting the door as Loki pulled away.

Sadie was at his toes as soon as he turned around. “Why did you let him leave!?”

Thor let out a sigh of laughter, hugging Sadie to his chest and kissing her hair. “Sweetheart, you can't rush these things,” he explained, “I can't just force him to spend the night or something like that.”

“You could try it though,” she countered, voice muffled where she was smushed against Thor.

Thor shook his head with a sharp laugh. “Hey, I promised you I was gonna try getting papa back, let me do it.”

With a thoroughly annoyed _ugh_ , Sadie pushed herself away. “Fine, but if you take too long I'm taking matters in to my own hands.”

“Is that a warning?” Thor guffawed.

“Yes,” Sadie said, “and I have Tony and Natasha on my side.”

“I'll try to not dally then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, shout out to thebookhunter for reminding me of the fact that I've been sucked in to the Yuri On Ice-hole and like, Ice Skating Is A Thing. Because somehow I forgot about that.


	17. Present Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Long Author's Note/Diary Entry ahoy!)
> 
> You guys, I planned to get so much more of this done before christmas came. I had a whole bunch of stuff written ahead that I thought it would be relatively ( _relatively_ ) easy to just put things together, editing and re-working things as necessary to keep things rolling.
> 
> Seeing as I'm posting this after christmas and a solid three weeks after posting the last chapter- Things Did Not Go As Planned. BECAUSE THIS STORY IS THE MOST DIFFICULT FOR SOME REASON. (srsly why does this story fight me so much I just wanna love youuuu) I don't know why, but almost nothing I wrote ahead worked... like, at all. There also ended up being some Technical Difficulties in the form of my (cheap & shitty - 0/10 do NOT recommend) laptop/tablet officially losing it's ability to function as a laptop a few days ago. (the little keyboard stopped connecting to the tablet-computer bit - I can still use it, but only as a very crappy tablet) So I dug out my old, over-heat-y laptop and spent a lot of my christmas cleaning it up so it wouldn't run like complete crap and I could finish this chapter. Sidenote- I've totally forgotten how frickin' nice it is to type on a full size keyboard again holy shit. 11in keyboards SUCK when you have big, majestic ladyhands. So, not the worst thing to happen, but just an annoying speed bump.
> 
> ANYWAY, yeah, writing this chapter was yet another struggle, and I ended up going COMPLETELY 'off script'... like, this went in a _totally_ different direction that I ever intended when I started writing this beast when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth and... I'm _really_ not sure how I feel about it to be honest. But I've realized if I kept trying to do this how I intended way back in the beginning that I was probably never gonna get this done. Like, ever. And dammit, I want these idiots together forever.
> 
> So yeah, that's the story of my life right now, and I currently have absolutely 0 idea what to next so That's Great, but I plan to keep working on this until it's DONE either way, I refuse to have anymore year long waits for this fic.

Sadie was sick of waiting. There was only so many days she could watch her fathers give each other longing looks only to have nothing else happen before she would tear her own damn hair out. Her updates from Tony and Natasha were less than thrilling as well.

She needed to take action.

She needed more help.

Marching in to Riley’s room, dragging a disgruntled Alyssa in with her, she shut the door and deposited her little sister on to Riley’s bed in one fell swoop, earning herself a glare from the both of them.

“We’re getting dad and papa back together.” Simple. Final. _It was gonna happen._

Riley and Alyssa looked to each other, then back at Sadie. “What?”

“They need to get back together and I need your guy’s help to make it happen faster.”

“But... why?” asked Alyssa.

“Yeah, they’re divorced,” Riley said, going back to the picture she’d been working on before her sisters barged in.

“Yes, I know that,” Sadie said, “but they shouldn’t be - dad is still in love with papa and I’m sure papa still loves him too.”

“Then why aren’t they together right now,” Alyssa pointed out, the tone of her voice making Sadie want to snarl.

“Because they’re stupid!”

Alyssa’s mouth formed a little ‘o’ in shock, while Riley snickered and said, “I’m gonna tell dad you said he’s stupid.”

“Don’t you think at this point,” Sadie soldiered on, “that if they weren’t still in love with each other they would’ve moved on already? You ever wonder why we don’t have at least one stepdad?” She threw her hands out in a wide wild gesture, feeling hopeful as she watched the gears turning in her sisters’ heads.

“I mean, you guys both have had friends over because their moms were going on a dates! When has either dad or papa gone on a date?”

Riley and Alyssa shared a look.

“Dad is still in love with papa,” she continued, “except I think he’s scared to actually do anything about it, but I think we can help him. Both of them.”

Alyssa looked back to her, eyes narrowed. “How?”

Sadie jumped on to the bed in between them. “They need to be together more, so they can maybe remember why they were together in the first place. We need to figure out some excuse to have papa stay over this weekend instead of hm taking us to his place.”

“It’s supposed to snow more tomorrow,” Alyssa offered.

“I know, but I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to keep him from trying to leave.”

“What about if we ask him to stay for dinner first?” said Alyssa, “he’s been having dinner with us a lot anyway.”

Sadie nodded. “Yeah, that’s good, but we need him here longer.”

“Ooh!” Riley bounced in her seat. “What if we locked them in the bathroom, or in one of the closets!”

Sadie looked over at Riley. “We’ll save that one as a backup plan.”

“Ooh, cookies!” Alyssa chirped. “He can stay over to make cookies with us!”

“That’s perfect!” Sadie hopped back on to her feet. “And then dad can insist we all stay over for the night, and then... we can figure that out later.”

 

Thor quirked an eyebrow at the way Sadie bounced in to the living room and jumped on to the couch, crawling up to him with an almost maniacal glint in her eye.

“Yes?”

“Do we have stuff to make cookies?”

“It think so... why?”

Sadie shrugged, not quite managing a perfectly innocent look. “I was just thinking that tomorrow night might be a good night to make some christmas cookies.”

“Tomorrow night,” Thor drawled, slowly catching on to her.

“Tomorrow night,” she repeated, eyebrows rising, “ _all_ of us.”

Thor’s head tilted, a small, conspiratorial smirk crossing his face. “I think tomorrow night is great night to make some christmas cookies.”

 

* * *

 

Loki was conflicted.

Spending all that extra time with his daughters, being more involved in their day to day activities, was amazing. He knew that would be the case.

It was Thor that was giving him all the problems. Or maybe it was just him going insane from loneliness. he was still entertaining that possibility.

He was enjoying being around Thor too. That was the problem. The big, beautiful, painful problem. He’d expected when they’d agreed to meet in that cutesy little coffee shop that they would end up in some new form of limbo where they were forever cordial but awkward around each other. Except Loki found himself getting butterflies in his stomach when his alarm would go off in the morning, the flutters kicking up when he approached the familiar front door of the house, the icy winds nothing against the heat flooding his cheeks. And then? When Thor would open the door? His brilliant smile and his hair messy from sleep? Loki hadn’t thought that a sight that had been so familiar to him for so long could make his breath catch in the back of his throat or make him tongue-tied.

But it did.

And that was a problem, wasn’t it? Loki had been the one to leave, had been the one to drop the big divorce bomb and leave the life they’d built up together in ruins. Now he was lonely, and maybe regrets where haunting his thoughts again, and his mind was twisting around Thor’s ability to be friendly with him in to something different.

Loki barely looked away from his computer screen as Tony waltzed in to the room.

“You better be here to show me that you’ve deleted that grindr account.”

“Oh no, I just came to give you these notes from the advertising guys,” he said, dropping a file on Loki’s desk. He pulled his phone out from his pocket, tapping the screen. “But since you, mentioned it, you’ve indirectly gotten five dick pics sent to you.”

Loki seethed quietly, typing nonsense on his computer just to show Tony how un-bothered he was. He had a feeling half of the reason this bullshit was happening was because his friends could see how much it was getting to him.

“There’s even one that’s really impressive- look!” Tony thrust his phone in front of his face. Loki’s eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of a, frankly, almost monstrous cock.

Tony pulled his phone back, studying the picture as he scratched his chin. Meanwhile, Loki was trying to rub the image out from the back of his eyes.

“You know, I am in to guys and all that, but there comes a point where I’d just feel inadequate instead of aroused - I think this is past that point.”

“Good lord, how does he even walk,” Loki whispered, stars blinking behind his eyelids.

“Seriously!”

Loki let out a heavy sigh, blinking away the stars. “Okay, you’ve had your fun, delete it now.”

“Aw, Loki...”

“ _Delete it_ ,” Loki said with hauling intensity, giving Tony his best fatherly look, since it seemed to work on his daughters well enough.

Tony huffed, tapping on the screen. “There.”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “You didn’t do it, did you?”

“Frankly, I am _deeply_ offended you think I’d lie right to your face like that-”

Loki stood as Tony spoke, using every inch of length his legs had to pursue Tony as he sprinted from Loki’s office.

 

Loki slumped back in to his chair after a fruitless chase, ending with Tony giving him one of his signature smug looks as the doors of the elevator slid closed.

He came back to find a text from Thor on his phone.

[Hey I was thinking, maybe tonight before you take the girls to your place you’d want to have dinner all together? I was thinking maybe we could order pizza and let the girls pick a movie.]

Loki stared at his phone for a few moments. He couldn’t say no to that, could he? Did he even _want_ to? The prospect of it was enticing enough that it brought a smile to his face without him noticing, which was a sign of something, surely.

He sighed, sagging back into his chair, swiveling around to face the window while his phone hung precariously from the loose grip of his hand. He looked out at the grey toned cityscape before him, little specks of cheeriness from the christmas decor peppered on the front entrances of buildings and stores.

[sounds lovely, I’m sure the girls will be happy to hear about it.]

Loki let out another sigh, spinning back towards his desk and setting his phone aside, getting back to the actual work he had to do.

 

* * *

 

“I’ve got a few beers in the fridge, if you want one?” Thor asked from his seat on the other side of the couch. The girls had already settled in around the coffee table with cans of soda and plates of pizza as the movie (that they had agreed on with a borderline suspicious amount of ease) starting.

Loki’s eyes scanned quickly over Thor, slouched comfortably with a plate in his lap and an almost obscenely tight blue sweater on. Probably not a good idea to throw any alcohol in this mix. “I’m good,” he answered, his voice turning up in to a squeak. He looked down at his own plate, picking off a piece of pepperoni and popping it in to his mouth.

“Okay,” Thor said, eyes moving to the tv. With one hand he began eating, while he casually slung the other along the back of the couch, fingertips brushing Loki’s shoulder and making him jolt.

 

“Everything alright?” Thor asked, eyebrows turned up in concern.

_Stop being so wound up, dammit._ “Fine.”

Thor nodded, back to watching the movie.

Loki followed suit. Eyes glued to the television. Chewed each bite thoroughly. He counted, even.

Somehow he still found himself staring at Thor, eyes caught on the pale skin of Thor’s hip, his sweater bunched at the waist.

Thor cleared his throat, snapping Loki back in to awareness and drawing his eyes up to his face. Expression amused, Thor asked, “everything alright?”

Loki cleared his throat, eyes darting to their daughters, catching Sadie whipping her head back to the television.

“Um, yes, but you know what? I think I’m going to have that beer, actually- No, don’t get up I’ll get it myself,” Loki said, the words tumbling out in a rush, setting his plate aside and shooting out of his seat as Thor moved to get up. he nearly ran in to the kitchen, taking in deep gulps of air, feeling like he had just been under water for a touch too long. He went digging through the fridge, finding the half-gone six pack pushed in to the back of one of the shelves. Taking a bottle and opening it as he he kicked the door shut. He let out a sharp exhale before he screwed his eyes shut and threw his head back, taking a big swig.

“I hope I’m not that hard to be around.”

Loki jumped, knocking his teeth with the mouth of the bottle and choking. He coughed and leaned on to the counter top, the quiet shuffle as Thor stepped around the counter to pat Loki’s back.

Once he felt like he wasn’t going to die from suffocating on a sip of beer, he looked back to Thor, his vision blurred with the tears lingering in his eyes. The smile on Thor’s face seemed nervous, his hand falling away from Loki’s back. He missed it.

“No, I’m just, um... thirsty,” Loki replied, his voice full of gravel and nerves of his own.

The corner of Thor’s mouth trembled upwards, his eyes scanning over Loki once before locking on to Loki’s again.

Loki shifted, not sure what to do. Or what Thor was going to do.

“You know, I was thinking a little while ago that I haven’t made any cookies with the girls yet, and I thought, you know, since you’re here it might be nice for us all to do it?”

Loki watched Thor for a moment, wanting to believe there was truly a hint of hopefulness to his expression.

“Yeah,” Loki said, and watched Thor perk up the instant the word fell out of him. “Sure, that sounds nice.”

Thor beamed. “Great.”

“My kitchen is no good for making cookies anyway,” Loki admitted, scratching the back of his neck. “barely any counter space,” he added shyly with a tap to the one he was leaning on.

Thor nodded, reaching up to pat Loki’s back again, the heat of his palm making Loki shiver as he lightly dragged his hand down his spine before pulling away.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the movie went off without a hitch and the beer managed to loosen Loki up a little. It was easy to move in to the kitchen and prep everything to make the cookies while their daughters milled about, the two of them quietly chatting about nothing in particular.

Thor mumbled, “something’s missing.”

Loki narrowed his eyes at the supplies they had laid out, nothing jumping out at him. “What?”

He got his answer when the room was suddenly filled with music, looking over his shoulder to find Thor beaming back at him.

“There we go.”

And... Loki was flustered all over again. Dammit.

“You think we should just go ahead and make the dough first?” Thor asked, picking up his phone to squint at the recipe again. “The girls only care about decorating them anyway.”

“You still need to get glasses,” Loki huffed, the comment rolling off his tongue without thought. It distracted him from the fluttering in his stomach, at least.

“I have some, actually,” he murmured.

Loki looked at him, eyebrows rising in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, mom and dad sort of forced me in to finally getting them,” he replied, putting the phone back down and getting the flour, he looked a bit shy, eyes darting up at Loki and back to the mixing bowl in front of him.

Loki titlted his head, leaning his hip against the counter top. “So, why don’t you ever wear them?”

Thor let out a drawn out sigh. “They look so _dumb_.”

“Well, now I have to see them.”

“No you don’t,” Thor said through a chuckle.

“Oh come on Thor, just for a second.”

“Nope,” Thor said, shaking his head and putting his focus on the task of measuring out a cup of flour.

Loki smirked. “Darlings? Where are your father’s glasses?”

Thor froze while three voices called out “ _JUNK DRAWER_ ” simultaneously.

Loki and Thor’s eyes darted to the drawer in question.

The thumping of their feet was loud. The crash as they both collided with the counter and shook everything in the drawers and cabinets was even louder.

“No, no, no.”

“Yes, yes, _yes_.”

Their hands fumbled on the handle of the drawer, the both of them laughing as they tried to bump each other away. Loki managed to prevail by sneaking a few fingers into Thor’s armpit, making him squeal and jump to get away from tickiling fingers. Loki pulled the drawer open and instantly spotted the black case, snatching it up before Thor could shut the drawer and spinning out of range of his grip.

“Put them on just for a minute,” Loki pleaded, clutching the case to his chest and keeping a few feet away.

“But I look so dumb,” Thor whined.

“Please?”

Thor sighed, head dropping as he head a hand out to Loki.

Loki opened the case, taking a moment to look at the glasses themselves. They seemed prefectly nice to him. Thin blue frames, not overly big or small. Just an innocent pair of glasses. He took them out and placed them in Thor’s hand.

Thor sighed again, sounding so put out about it, slipping them on and fussing with his hair a bit before looking back up at Loki. Hands flopping at his sides, he said, “well?”

Loki blinked.

What the hell had he been thinking, making Thor show him his glasses? Why had he suddenly become such a glutton for punishment? Why did Thor have to be able to be even more attractive than he already was?

“That bad, huh?”

“What? No- You- You look-” Loki’s mouth was dry. His mind supplied words that would be way too damning to speak out loud. He floundered, mouth opening and closing.

The way Thor looked at him - his head tipped down with a few strands of hair falling across his face, looking slightly guarded yet hopeful ( _maybe?_ ) - sent Loki back to when they were teenagers. Their awkward coexistence while they each harbored growing crushes they couldn’t figure out how to deal with yet. It took what little breath was left in Loki’s lungs, and whatever sense was left in his head.

“You look lovely,” Loki said softly, voice unsteady and self-conscious.

Thor brightened, his smile small and sweet, cheeks turning pinker above the groomed edge of his beard. He reached up and adjusted his glasses. “Really?”

Loki nodded, his grip tight on the case still in his hand.

“Thanks.”

“You should wear them more.”

Thor’s smile widened.

“It’s better for your eyes, you know,” Loki was quick to add, an attempt to save some of his dignity that he wasn’t sure would actually work.

“I know.” Thor sounded like a chastised little kid, which of course managed to be even more endearing.

The butterflies were in full force as Thor ventured closer, back to the actual task at hand - glasses still on. It took Loki a few moments longer, putting the case down somewhere safe from the mess, but he came back, feeling every inch of the space between them as he made the icing.

Soon enough they had a batch in the oven, the icing waiting off to the side to be colored and used, and all there was to do was wait. They stood there for a few moments, music playing, the rest of the house nearly silent.

“Well,” Loki sighed. Flutters.

Thor chuckled. “Well.”

Thor slipped his glasses off, setting them on a clean spot on the counter, before stepping closer. Loki watched, in something of a trance as Thor approached. He was still deep in it, feeling like he was in a haze while Thor reached out, a hand coming to grasp his waist and pull him away from the counter. Loki fell in to the motions with ease, letting Thor take his hand and hug him close, their bodies swaying gently to the beat of the slow song playing. Loki kept his other hand on Thor’s shoulder, gripped in a sudden and strange sense of fear that kept his eyes glued past Thor.

_What is this what’s happening what do I do-_

Thor’s hand pressed more firmly against the small of his back, jostling him out of his stir of panicked thoughts.

“This is nice,” Thor whispered, the gust of breath along the side of his neck making him shiver.

Voice lodged somewhere in his throat, Loki could only manage a quick nod.

Thor looked up when he saw the flash of motion in the corner of his eye, finding Sadie peeking in to the kitchen. He smiled, giving her a wink when she gave him a thumbs up.

Thor took a chance, letting his head fall to rest on Loki’s shoulder.

Loki tensed for a moment before he gave in. One song faded in to another, one with a faster beat, but they kept their motions slow. A steady rocking from side to side. Loki let his head fall, bit by bit, eyes slipping shut as it came to rest against Thor’s shoulder, his arm wound around Thor’s back. Everything else faded to the background, leaving nothing but the two of them in this room. Thor’s fingertips pressed lightly in to Loki’s back, a sigh - so soft that Loki just barely felt the small gust of breath – passing his lips as he seemed to settle himself against Loki.

Loki's heart was beating wildly. Bucking so hard against his ribs that it made it nearly impossible to get a full breath in. And what air he did get in was laced with the faint remnants of his favorite cologne and another, softer scent so familiar, forever tangled up in the mess of his head with the word “home.”

But the rest of him, oh, the rest of him was melting.

The harsh buzz of the timer snapped them out of the trance, and Loki was quick to pull away, turning as soon as he registered the blurring of his vision and going straight for the fridge to get the next lump of cling wrap covered dough out for rolling and cutting.

He heard Thor getting the cookies from the oven, and didn't dare sneak a peek over his shoulder to see what look might be on Thor's face.

He wanted... What did he want?

He wanted his head to clear a bit, dammit. What the hell. He wanted his hands to stop shaking and his arms to not feel like useless overcooked noodles. Both of those would be great.

What he got was a gentle nudge from Thor.

“Here, let me,” Thor whispered. Loki nodded, numb in the face of his own ridiculousness, and stepped aside, letting Thor do the grunt work.

Soon enough there was another batch in the oven, and no distractions.

“The girls are being quiet,” Loki said, voice quiet and unsteady.

Thor smiled, eyebrows cocking up as he gave a halfhearted look around, like he only just realized. “They are.”

“Should we be worried?”

“Lets just enjoy it.”

Loki squirmed, eyes darting all over and arms hugged firmly around himself. _Tread carefully_ , the little voice in Thor's head said. He wished he could just swoop in and and hold Loki against him again, swaying to their own rhythm, but he was sure that would scare Loki off.

 

* * *

 

There was some sort of higher being on Sadie's side tonight, for sure. That was the only explanation for why the weather forecast turned from 'some light snow in the evening' to 'expect to see at least six inches by morning.'

She was going to have to remember to perform a ritual or something in gratitude later, but right now, she had to make sure things kept going this smooth.

She looked out the back doors from her spot at the dining table where everyone was decorating cookies. “Wow, it looks like it's snowed a lot,” she said, totally casual.

Both of her dad's looked up from their own cookies to look outside too. Thor even stood up and flicked the flood lights on, showing that yes, it had snowed quite a lot while they weren't paying attention. How convenient.

“Oh, wow, it has, hasn't it?”

_Ah yes, what a problem, looks like we can't go to Papa's house tonight..._

Her sisters both stopped what they were doing to look outside too, all three giving their father's curious looks.

“I didn't know it was supposed to snow that much,” Loki said thoughtfully.

“Are we still going to your house, Papa?” Alyssa asked, sounding perfectly innocent.

Loki pursed his lips, looking to Thor.

Thor shifted his weight, looking a bit uncomfortable. “I mean, it's your decision-”

“Are you going to be comfortable with me taking them out-”

“It's your weekend-”

“I know, but I can see you look uncomfortable,” Loki countered.

Sadie held her breath, stared at her dad. _Just ask him to stay over already, come on._

“You- maybe you could just stay over?” Thor offered, and Sadie finally exhaled. “See what the weather is like in the morning.”

Sadie whipped her head around to look at Loki, whose mouth was shaped in to a little _o_ in shock. He blinked a few times, squirmed in his seat, clearly not sure how to answer.

“Ooh, that would be so fun!” Riley bounced in her seat. “We could watch movies and stuff!”

“Yeah!” Alyssa joined in, “and dad can make breakfast with pancakes and everything.”

Loki looked at his daughters' hopeful faces. He couldn't say no to that, could he? And he couldn't drag them out in this weather, who knew how the roads even looked right now.

“That seems like the best course of action, doesn't it?” Loki said with a small laugh.

All three girls gave a little cheer, and Thor seemed a little pleased himself. Turning off the lights outside, he came back to the table, to his seat kitty corner from Loki's.

 

* * *

 

Thor couldn't sleep, not with Loki right under him. He tossed and turned for a while longer, just to make sure.

Loki could _not_ sleep like this. Why did it have to go and snow so damn much again.

He heard a creaking upstairs. He stayed still, flinching when there was another creak. That was definitely someone coming down the stairs.

He lifted his head, squinting in the dark to see a big bulky shape that could be none other than Thor.

Thor stilled, and Loki could see the cringe even in the dark. “Did I wake you up?”

“No,” Loki sighed, swinging his legs around and sitting up. He turned on the tv, giving the room some much needed light.

“Needed water?”

“Uh, yeah,” Thor replied, settling on the couch a couple feet away from him.

“Are you feeling alright?” Thor asked after the quiet lingered.

Loki shifted around, stomach flopping around. “I'm, uh-”

Loki huffed, he was feeling... _far_ too much. He wasn't feeling alright, that was sure.

“Isn't this weird for you?” he asked, the question coming out more aggravated than he intended. He was getting pretty aggravated, to be fair. It was like every nerve had gotten exposed without him realizing. He was feeling raw now. He covered his face with his hands, rubbing his eyes slowly

Thor's mouth hung open for few seconds before speaking, his voice soft. “Yeah. I mean, everything about this has been weird, hasn't it?”

Loki looked back to Thor, face slightly distorted with shadows and from the moving light coming from the tv. He was looking down at his hands. He wasn't talking about just these past few weeks, was he. “ _Yeah_.” The tightness in Loki's throat made it difficult for the word to pass. He rubbed at his neck, unable to keep himself still.

It was the first time they'd ever really acknowledged it, the strangeness of it all. They'd been dancing around each other since Loki had dropped the divorce bomb. Never really _talking_ much after that, aside from the shallow conversations when it was necessary.

Weird was understating it, really.

Thor looked at Loki. Nerves made his stomach clench and heat wash over his skin. He wrung his hands in his lap. He wanted to go slow with this, hadn't he? Be a little smooth about it? Wear Loki's defenses down and make him remember what they had before and all that.

He was suddenly feeling impatient. Thor had never been one for being subtle, not for extended periods of time at least. He liked some directness, and taking action when he could. And he wasn't sure he was going to get a chance like this again...

“Do you ever miss it?”

Loki had been looking away at some undistinguished spot on a wall, flinching as Thor spoke. “What?”

“Miss us, you know, being together?”

Loki swallowed audibly, mouth trying to form words and only letting out small stuttering sounds.

“I do,” Thor said, looking right at Loki, not even trying to hide the tremble in his voice.

Loki chest rose and fell with a damp gasp, eyes glinting as he watched Thor in a haze of disbelief.

Thor moved, sitting on the edge of the coffee table right in front of Loki, looking him in the eye. Loki was frozen before him, a couple tears falling as he blinked. Thor's heart was lodged in his throat, and he had to try and breathe around it. He reached out, taking Loki's hands from his lap.

“I miss it so much and,” Thor let out a shaky sigh, “it feels like these past few years have just been wrong, and people have always said to give it time and I'll start feeling normal again, but it's never felt normal, it feels like I'm just... waiting.”

Thor looked up from where their hands were joined, Loki's face soaked with tears as he looked at him.

The knot in Thor's gut wound up tighter, his fingers tightening around Loki's.

“Why didn't you-” Loki let out a sob, his voice thready as he spoke again. “Why didn't you try to convince me to stay, then? Why did you just-” His breath hitched. “-let me go?”

Thor wilted, hardly able to find his voice. “I- I don't know... I was scared, I guess.” Thor sniffed, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. “I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want to do something that would make you hate me more.”

Loki's face twisted, eyes falling to their hands. His shoulders shook with another quiet gasp of a sob as he gave a slow nod of his head. Thor's hands moved, sliding up Loki's wrists, his arms, until he was grasping Loki's shoulders and dragging him in to a hug.

They were in a tangle hanging between the couch and coffee table, sobbing quietly in to each others shoulders until their bodies begun to get sore and stiff. They peeled off each other carefully, staying quiet for a while longer in the face of the delicate tension in the air.

“What does this mean?” Loki finally asked.

Thor shrugged. “Not sure, what do you want it to mean?”

There was a shaky inhale and exhale, and then Loki was reaching out and taking Thor's hand again, making his heart soar.

Thor moved back to the couch, his hand never leaving Loki's, sitting close to his side. “Why don't we just start by talking, and figure out where things go from there?”

There was a flicker of a smile, nodding again.

 

* * *

 

Something happened. Sadie had no idea what exactly, but _something_ had definitely _happened_. She had gone downstairs, braced to face a full day of staying on her toes to keep her fathers interacting in positive and hopefully romantic ways and had even gone as far as to take Riley's closet suggestion in to serious consideration. She did research and everything. She had made a plan should it come down to that.

But what she walked in to was her fathers looking very tired, eyes all puffy and red and stuff, the both of them smiling but... weird. The whole vibe of the room was odd.

She tried asking her dad what was up through a series of facial expressions and indistinct noises but all she'd gotten in reply was a small smile, a one armed hug (that was still rib crushingly tight), and to get nudged back towards the living room while being told breakfast would be done soon.

Sadie had sighed, flopping on to the couch like every once of stress was bearing down on her, and thought to herself: Well, we'll figure it out after chocolate chip pancakes.

(It had to be something pretty good right? He didn't usually make chocolate chip pancakes unless there was a lot of begging...)

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadie's research? It was totally fanfic. Like she totally nabbed Thor's laptop while he was too distracted by the way Loki's hair fell on his face and ended up reading some ridiculous oneshots of her OTP (the OTP that isn't her dads). Please feel free to tell me what you think she would be in to.


End file.
